


Little Secrets

by prcttyodd



Category: Septiplier - Fandom, jacksepticeye, markiplier - Fandom, youtube - Fandom
Genre: Gay, High School, High School AU, Homophobia, LGBT, M/M, Markiplier - Freeform, Septiplier - Freeform, YouTube, homophobic parents, jacksepticeye - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-22
Updated: 2018-07-06
Packaged: 2018-07-26 03:29:56
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 42
Words: 51,628
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7558411
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/prcttyodd/pseuds/prcttyodd
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Mark and Jack are gay, and live in an extremely homophobic neighborhood, where being gay is seen just as bad as murdering somebody. </p><p>Jack is out of the closet. Mark isn't. So when the two end up falling for each other, they must keep their relationship a secret. They can't do anything together in the public eye, as they are already being suspected as dating/hooking up by everyone around them. </p><p>But it's harder than they expected... </p><p>[High School AU]</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This fic was inspired by the song "Little Secrets" by Passion Pit.

SUMMARY: 

"Let this be our little secret..." 

XX 

The heart wants what it wants, and nothing can change that. Mark knows that for a fact. He falls for Jack, a kid that he has known since elementary school. Afraid of what his homophobic parents may think, he decides to keep his relationship with Jack a "little secret". But what happens once his family catches on? Will he sacrifice his love to keep his "perfect image" within his family? Or will he shame his family's name so that he could be with the one he loves most? 

XXX  
NOTES:

Okay. So this is my first ever Septiplier fanfic. And it's gonna be a hard and emotional one to write, considering the topic I'm basing it on. Homophobia. But this is a topic I really want to write a fanfic and raise awareness about. 

This story will be offensive to some. Words will be used that aren't so nice, but I'm not doing it to insult anyone. You gotta think: how would a homophobic family react to their son being gay? They probably wouldn't use nice words, right?

Also, there are going to be mentions of cutting and suicidal thoughts later on. So be warned. Chapters that contain this content will have a (!) in the title. 

This is a High School AU. Mark and Jack will be juniors in high school in this story. Also. I realize that Mark's parents wouldn't be like this and aren't like this and whatever, but this is fanfiction. 

This will alternate between Jack and Mark's POV. 

So, that's about it. Be sure to vote and comment and let me know what ya think!


	2. 1.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is simply a chapter foreshadowing what is to come later. This is the present time, but we will be delving into the past to see how Mark and Sean came to this point.

A/N: (!)= triggering content. there is use of the q and f slur in this chapter. 

I look around at my family. Each of them are staring at me, that same disgusted look in each of their eyes. 

I hate myself. I'm the big neighborhood disgrace. Everyone around now knows that golden boy Mark is actually a faggot. I knew it. It was all my fault. 

I want to see Sean right now. I wanted to be with his family, nice and accepting, I don't want to be here, where I'm being stared down by my entire homophobic family. 

My dad clapped, bringing attention to himself. Then, he began to speak. I hated him right now. I really did. "Well, well. Who would've thought. Turns out my little son is a fucking faggot. Why couldn't you just keep it hidden from us Mark? Would've been a hell of a lot easier. But no, little neighborhood queer had to get caught making out with his boyfriend and look where we are. The whole neighborhood is laughing at us, already. Laughing at me. We're already getting phone calls from people. 'Oh you're the father of one of the neighborhood queers.' 'Oh, did it hurt to find out he was a fag?' How does it feel to know you caused all of this Mark? Huh? How does it feel?" 

His words sting. I feel tears rising into my eyes, but I can't let them out. I can't let him know he's actually hurting me. I'll only cry when I'm away from them. 

If I was being honest, I wish I could just be straight. I wish that I could be the golden boy again. I wish I wasn't in love with Sean. But there's nothing that can be done about any of that. It's done and over with. I hate that I'm having these thoughts. I couldn't imagine my life without having met and falling for Sean. But it was just hard to be positive right now. And, my family doesn't think that way. They think by yelling... By calling me a queer and a faggot, they'll somehow make me straight and fall out of love with Sean But that'll never happen. 

"Oh, so you don't have an answer. Nice. Guess kissing him is more important, huh?" 

I hate the way my father spits the word "him" out, like Jack is some disease. I want to tell my father off right then and there, but I have a feeling that it wouldn't end well. Especially with my whole family around. 

"You know, why don't you and your little boyfriend get out of here. You've already shamed your family name too much. Do you think it's necessary to shame us, just that you could fill your own feverish need? Was it worth it!? Huh? Tell me now? Was it worth it?" 

My father gets up in my face. I can literally feel his anger. 

"You don't know how it is..." I squeak. I feel pathetic for not being able to let anything else out. Where did my bravery from early go? It was fading away. Far, far away. 

"Yeah, of course I don't know how it is. I'm not a fucking disgrace like you. I don't know what the hell possessed you to go out and do that disgusting shit, but it certainly wasn't us. You're going straight to hell." 

"Dad..." 

"Don't give me that dad bullshit. Don't try to apologize. This is the type of damage that can't be taken back. I'm not your father. You're not my son. You're fucking dead to me. Dead. Don't call us, don't come near us. I don't give a shit where you go, but it sure as hell won't be anywhere near here. Get the fuck out of here." 

I couldn't move. He couldn't be serious. Was he kicking me out of the family? Why? Even if he did kick me out, it doesn't change what happened. And, it doesn't change that I'm his blood and his only son. I sniffled. I didn't want this to be real. How can you suddenly hate your own blood for who they love? How do you raise a child only to hate it years later over something silly? 

Well, I guess I don't blame him. I'm his only son, and I'm a damn failure. Maybe he's right. 

"GET THE FUCK OUT." 

I still couldn't move. I couldn't breathe. I couldn't see. I couldn't do anything. 

Before I knew it, he was grabbing me and pushing me outside. 

How could a parent be so cruel? None of family even protested to me being thrown outside. they all just agreed with him. Wow, great. I felt so loved. All these years, all the fun I had. They're my family. And I wasn't going to be a part of them. It was sad, really. I couldn't believe this. 

I was sitting on the sidewalk in front of my home, staring at it. I was helpless. I began to cry yet again, like the wimp that I was. There was nothing more I could do. My family had cut me out, just like I knew that they would. 

I had no idea what to do. Then I thought of one person I could call... 

I pulled my phone out of my back pocket. It had battery, just enough for at least one call or so. 

"Sean... I need you..."


	3. 2.

People often ask me how I found out. How I knew. So here you go. 

I knew I was gay when I was 14. I was even before then, but I didn't know until then, you know? 

How did I know? Well, for starters, I wasn't the least bit attracted to girls. I've had a few encounters with them, and none of them were the least bit pleasurable. 

I was really confused for awhile, but I really started questioning myself at around 12 or 13. While everyone around me was talking about girls and chasing them, I found myself thinking I'd rather kiss a guy than a girl.

I was young, yes, so I thought that this was normal. What little boy doesn't think that all girls are a different species? So I thought noting of these strange thoughts. But as I got older, things started to get even stranger for me. I realized that the thoughts I was having weren't normal in the least. 

I would hear my parents talk about gays, and I would often wonder if I was turning into one of these people. Was I attracted to the same sex? 

One night, I couldn't sleep, I lay awake in bed, listening to my parents. Usually I couldn't hear them very well, but tonight, they were being pretty loud. 

"I don't understand anymore. Do you have to be gay to get noticed in society? All of these news broadcasts are about fags and how they're getting discriminated." My mom had said.

But what my dad said had hit me especially hard. 

"Glad our son isn't one of them." 

This particular conversation happened when I was 13. I was pretty sure that I liked guys and not girls, but I was still a little confused. I knew I was different. But was I gay? 

My first kiss was a girl. I kissed her, at a Halloween party. I totally wasn't into her at all. But there was one thing I wanted. I wanted desperately to be straight, to be normal. But as soon as I planted my lips on here, I knew. 

I was pretty stupid to think that a kiss could change my sexuality. I thought then of the thoughts that I had. I had befriended quite a few girls, and whenever they talked about the "hot" guys in our class, I would often find myself thinking about the guy they were talking about the same way they were. I honestly disgusted myself, and there wasn't anything I could do. 

I never had any true encounters with the same sex, but by 14 I knew that I wasn't meant to be with girls. 

Why couldn't I be normal? 

You see, I wouldn't stress out about being gay if my neighborhood wasn't the way it was. A bunch of homophobes. Just great for a kid having sexuality issues. 

My family especially. The talk I heard that night was just a little taste of the talks that went on in my household. Every time that these conversations would go on, I would just nod my head and pretend like I agreed. 

I never told anyone I was gay. Not a soul. 

I was pretty much the town's golden boy. Straight A student. That kid that's gonna be big. What if my town found out that their little golden boy was gay? Well, they wouldn't respect me anymore. Which is pretty ridiculous. Does my sexuality effect my grades? Nope. So why the hell does it matter? I guess it's just the way homophobes work. 

There's a lot more behind I how I knew I was gay, but those are the basics. We'd be here all day if I were to explain the whole thing. Some of it would be too difficult to explain. 

So... Yeah. I'm Mark, I'm 16 now, I'm still gayer than gay. Nice to meet you.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I lowkey hate this chapter haha. But this was so hard to write. Sexuality is a tough topic. Before I actually posted this, I did a shit ton of research. And some of it involved asking my friends and people I knew that were/are having sexuality problems to help me out as to what it's like. Big thanks to you guys, you know who you are. So yeah, if I didn't do research, people probably wouldn't bat an eye at this lmao. But yeah. Hours of research and shit. And thank my friends, cause they basically wrote this chapter. 
> 
> Hope you enjoyed this and thanks for reading! Be sure to tell me what you think! Love you all!


	4. 3.

I met him when he became my lab partner in Chemistry, for the whole year. I know what you're thinking. That this is sounding cliché. But I didn't like him at first. Not one bit. He was an asshole to me at first, to put it nicely. 

"Mark, you'll be partners with Sean. Go back and start working." My teacher had said. At first, I thought nothing of it. So she assigned us random partners. Big deal. Not like I had that many friends only. I didn't want that many anymore, because I have a tendency to run my big mouth, and I don't really want my secret getting out there. You know what I mean. Plus, I didn't even know exactly who he was and k didn't really care to be honest. 

But as soon as I went back to work with him, I realized he didn't really want to work with me. I sat next to him, but he didn't even acknowledge me. 

"Hey." I tried. Nothing at all. He didn't even look at me. 

Whenever we did experiments, he wouldn't let me touch the equipment, he wouldn't even show me what he was doing(unless the teacher walked by). It was like this everyday and I let it go. Maybe he's shy or something. 

But days turned into weeks, and I was getting pretty annoyed at his shit. 

"What's your problem?" I snapped at him one day. 

He turned to me slowly, and I finally got a good look at his face. He was attractive, with nice eyes, but I wouldn't let that cloud my vision. He was an asshole. 

"What is it you want?" He asked. I noticed he had a pretty thick accent. 

"Um... We're lab partners. We gotta work together. Do you have a problem with me or something? Cause I can..." 

"No. Here." He thrusts the lab paper at me. "Here's the answers." 

"But we have to work together and..." 

"I already did the experiment. Just copy the answers. It won't matter that they're the same, like you said, we're partners." 

Why was he so mad? What did I ever do to him? I copied down the answers, not even looking at him. Maybe he has a bad life at home or something that wasn't my business. 

I handed him back his paper, uttering a quick "thank you". 

Over the next few days, that's how our system works. He does the work, I copy his answers. It feels wrong, but I've offered to help with the work, but Sean had always refused. 

Then, one day, things started to get a little weird. Sean approached my desk and I looked up, expecting him to yell at me or something. Instead, he said "Sorry. Sorry for being an ass all of the time." 

"It's fine..." I say. 

"Wanna know why I'm an ass? Here." 

He hands me a piece of paper. How could paper tell me why he was such an ass to me? Maybe he doesn't want to say it out loud. 

I open up the paper. It reads:

Sorry for being such a dick to you. I kinda can't and don't trust people anymore. I'm sure you know why all of the kids make fun of me and laugh behind my back, and I just wanted to make sure you weren't one of them. You aren't, and I'm sorry for assuming you were. I didn't want to say this out loud... Well you know why. 

I stared at the paper for a few seconds, stunned. He didn't think he could trust me? Makes sense. But what I didn't know was what he was talking about. 

"You know why the kids laugh behind my back?" What? I had no clue, so I flipped the paper over, and wrote 

What do you mean? Why do people laugh at you? You don't have to tell me. I just don't have a clue what you're talking about. 

I give the paper back to him. He reads it and scrawls something quickly, then gives it back to me. 

You really didn't know? Well, I don't mind saying it. I'm gay.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I feel like this is so horrible omfg. Maybe that's just because it's such a hard thing to write. The end with the note was pretty easy, since that part pretty much wrote itself. 
> 
> This isn't gonna be that long I don't think. I can't tell you exactly how long this story will be. 
> 
> Thanks for reading! Vote and tell me what you think! Love you all!


	5. 4.

Wait... What? Did I just read that correctly. No. It couldn't be. How hadn't I heard a word about it? I guess that's what happens when you're scared and distance yourself from people. 

"Oh here it comes." Sean mumbles, ripping the paper from my hands. He crumbles it up and throws it in the trash can. 

"I should've known." He says, not even looking at me. 

"Wait what? I don't..." I started, but the bell rang and I was unable to finish. 

He gets up and practically runs out of the room before I have any time to explain. I sigh, grab my things, and leave as well. 

What I want to do more than anything is tell him that I understand what he's probably going through. I want to tell him that he has guts to come here every day, especially since people knew about him. I don't even have the guts to tell anyone, that's why I don't have many friends anymore. 

And then I realize it. 

Sean and I, we're pretty much the same person. 

XX 

The next day in Biology, things go back to how they were before. Sean completely ignores me. I try to talk to him, but he doesn't respond to me or even acknowledge my presence. 

Well, this is great. 

"Sean..." I start, but he doesn't even look up. 

I pull out a piece of paper and begin to write to him. 

Sean... 

Sorry about yesterday. Well, actually, I'm not sorry. You didn't give me a chance to explain. 

I wasn't shocked about what you told me, I was just shocked people would treat you that way. I'm sorry. 

I won't judge you for who you are. I could never. Just... Give me a chance, okay? I'm sorry if you thought I was judging you, but I wasn't.  

I wanted to add in that I was gay too, but decided I didn't want to go that far yet. 

I know it was more than odd that I cared about him so much already. I know it was strange to want him to talk to me so badly. 

Truth is, I didn't even know why I wanted him to know I cared so much. 

It's because we're the same. 

We barely even knew each other yet, but just looking at him and seeing how insecure he was about himself, I knew we would be somewhat close. 

XX 

Everything happens for a reason. 

Thinking about it, it makes sense. I was paired up with Sean, not only because the teacher wanted it to happen, but maybe because I was meant to have a friend. Sure, he was stubborn, but I wouldn't stop until I got to him. I wanted him to realize we were the same. 

You see, the thing is, when you go for years without friends, finding a person like Sean is pretty much a godsend. 

A person that's basically me? Of course I'll befriend him, or at least try to. 

I put the note on Sean's desk. He glanced at it and scowled. Then he went back to work. 

When the bell rang, after making sure I wasn't looking(I was, he just didn't see) Sean put the note in his book bag.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Sorry for the short chapter. How do you think Sean will react? Sorry if this wasn't any good, I'm sick and bored, so I just decided to get some writing done. But I hope you enjoyed it nonetheless! 
> 
> Thanks for reading! Love you all!


	6. 5.

"Sorry." Sean says to me the next day, as he sits down beside me. 

"Hm?" I mumble, looking up. 

"I'm sorry. You know... For thinking that you were gonna judge me." He didn't meet my eyes. "I just thought... That you would be like everyone else." 

"Oh... It's fine. Why would I judge you over something like that, anyway?" 

"Why not? Everyone else seems to. Everyone I trusted... They spread my secrets around and next thing you know I'm the little school queer." 

"I'm sorry... That you have to deal with that. They shouldn't judge you." I know how you feel... I wanted to add, but decided to keep my mouth shut for now. 

Wait until you trust him a little more... 

"It's fine. Nothing you should be sorry about. I want more than anything to be normal. Like everyone else." 

"There's no such thing as normal, Sean. Trust me." 

"There is. And it's not being the school queer, lemme tell you that." 

"Can you two get to work?" The teacher shouted at us, staring us down with her beady eyes. 

I roll my eyes and look at Sean. I can tell he's trying to hold back laughter.

"Be careful, man. Don't let the fag talk to you. He's probably trying to get in your pants." One of the kids in our class says. The class erupts into laughter. 

I roll my eyes. I really wish that I could do more, that I could stick up for Sean and say something. But I'm too scared. Why am I so pathetic. 

"I'm sorry." I said to Sean. 

"Don't be... I'm used to this." Sean looks down. 

"No... I mean, I'm sorry that I didn't say anything..." 

"You don't have to. It's better if you don't." 

"Sean... I have a question." 

He looks up at me. "Yeah?" He asks. 

"Do you want to be friends?" Was this how you made friends? I had no idea, I mean I was pretty inexperienced if I was being honest. I was expecting Sean to look at me like I was crazy, but his face was actually one of happiness. 

"Friends? Don't have many of those..." He said, smirking. 

"Does that mean yes?" I smile back. 

"Of course it does." 

XX 

I couldn't believe it. I couldn't believe that I had an actual friend. Pathetic as it sounds. 

I was kind of surprised that Sean had forgiven me so quickly, but I was also super relieved. 

"You wanna hang out Saturday?" I asked Sean the next day. 

"Saturday... Um..." Sean said. 

"What? You don't have time? We can..." 

"No. I have time. I was only joking around. I have no friends." He laughed. 

"Same here." 

"So where do you want to go?" 

"You ever heard of Super Jump? The trampoline place?" 

"Yeah. I've heard it's fun."

"You wanna go." 

"Sure." Sean pulls out a piece of paper. He scrawls something on it. He hands it to me. It's his number. 

"Text me the time and stuff, okay?" 

"O... Of course." I stutter. 

Sean smiles. I realize then that I really like his smile. 

XX 

"Why are you so happy?" My mom asks that night when I come downstairs for dinner. 

"Eh. Nothing." I lie. 

"There a girl you like at school or something?" She jokes, but I don't find it the least bit funny. 

A girl? Really? Don't realize that I like... Oh wait. 

"No. I just found a new friend." I say, and I could feel the goofy smile form over my lips.

"A new friend? Hm? You? With friends? Woah, I'm amazed and proud." 

"Mom stop." 

"No really. I'm so proud of you." She smiled at me. "Did you hear that?" She called out to my father. "Mark has friends!" 

 

"I'm eating upstairs." I say, taking my plate and running upstairs, before I let the real reason why I never had friends spill. I wasn't embarrassed that my mom was so "proud", because I was honestly proud of myself. 

I lay down on my bed, looking up at the ceiling. As I eat my food, I barely taste any of it, because I can't stop thinking about Saturday.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Yay! New chapter! Sorry it was kinda boring and mostly dialogue. Next one should be pretty interesting though! So stay tuned! 
> 
> Thanks so much for reading, don't forget to comment and vote!(You don't have to if ya don't want XD) 
> 
> Love you all!


	7. 6.

"Mom, I told you where I'm going. I'm going to Super Jump with a friend." I told my mom on Saturday night. I had texted Sean and told him that I wanted to go at around 9:00, which was when the DJ got there. 

"Will I ever meet this friend?" My mom asked. I rolled my eyes. 

"Not yet. You don't need to worry about him. We're not going out to do drugs. We're just gonna go to the trampoline place, jump, dance to the music, and then come home. That's it, I swear." I say, for what feels like the sixth time. 

"Okay, whatever you say." 

"You know not to accept drugs or anything like that right?" 

"Oh my god mom. Of course I do. There aren't gonna be any drugs there, it's supposed to be a kid friendly place." 

"Well you never know, and I'm especially nervous because I don't know this friend." 

"Mom, I'm not stupid. I get what you're implying. You'll meet him soon." 

"Is he at least your age." 

I was getting seriously annoyed at this point. Who did my mom think I was hanging out with? I get that me having friends is a strange thing. But does my mom really have to make this big of a deal about it? "Obviously." 

"Don't get mouthy with me, or you won't go out at all." 

"Sorry mom." I say, turning away and rolling my eyes. When she doesn't respond, I turn around and walk into my room. 

I pull out my phone and text Sean. 

My mom is being so annoying rn 

He texted back within seconds. 

Same. She's mad that she hasn't met you yet. 

Mine is too. She thinks we're going out to do drugs or something. 

It's annoying. Well, I'll see you soon? 

Yep, see you soon. 

We're gonna walk there right? 

Yeah. We'll meet up at the park and then we'll go there. 

Okay, sounds good. 

XX 

Where is he? 

Why isn't he here yet? 

These were the thoughts running through my mind as I stood waiting in the park. 

Sean was supposed to be here ten minutes ago. Where was he? Did he decide to ditch me? I got all excited about making a new friend, but what if it wasn't real? What if Sean wasn't different than I thought? What if he was still the asshole I met? What if- 

"Mark?" 

I turn around quickly. Sure enough, Sean was standing there. 

"Oh hey Sean. I thought you jiffed me." I said, chuckling. 

Sean wasn't the least bit amused. "You really thought that?" 

"No... I was just joking." I said, hoping to god I hadn't just screwed things up. 

"Oh... Okay then. Let's just get going." He said. Had I offended him? I didn't mean to... We walked in silence for a few seconds. After a few minutes, I couldn't take it anymore. 

"I'm sorry." I said as we were walking. 

"For?" 

"For thinking that you jiffed me." 

"No need to be sorry. I just felt kinda bad that you thought that. That's it. Now let's just go and have fun." Even through the darkness, I could see his smile. 

I smiled back at him. "Sounds like a plan." 

XX 

There was a huge line once we got there. It was already dark, and neon lights were flashing around. It looked just like a dance club or something. 

"We should've came earlier." Sean mumbled as we stood in line. 

"Yeah. We should've. But hey, what can we do now?" 

We waited about 5 more minutes. You have to get a special wrist band to prove that you payed to get in, and that's why the line was so long. 

Once we finally got our wristbands, we showed them to the guards that were guarding the entrance to the trampolines, and we headed in. 

"It's so cool in here." Jack said. I could barely hear him over the loud music. 

We walked over to a section of trampolines that were marked "free jump". Sean immediately ran in and hopped on a trampoline. Me? I was a little reluctant. 

Sean looked at me, and then walked off of the trampoline and grabbed my wrist. "Come on? What are ya scared of? They're just trampolines!" He said. 

"I'm scared I'm going to fall, that's all." I said, realizing how lame I sounded. 

"Then why did ya come here?" 

"You're right. Let's go." I said. I began to jump slowly on the trampoline next to the one Sean was on. 

Baby jumps, Mark. Just do baby jumps for now. 

I don't know why I was so afraid of it, honestly. Maybe it's because I was never really on a trampoline before. My parents never got me one, and I was never interested in one. I guess that didn't work out in my favor. 

"JUMP HIGHER." Sean shouted over the loud music. I pretended to not hear. 

God, he's really loud. I thought to myself. 

I tried jumping a little higher. Maybe this wasn't as bad as I thought. 

After a long while of jumping, I was getting tired. I looked over at Sean. He was still jumping. 

I got off of the trampoline and headed over towards the snack bar, where you could buy snacks and drinks. I sat down at one of the tables, struggling to catch my breath. I was really out of shape. 

I wanted to buy a drink, but I didn't have enough money. I only brought enough to get in and get my wristband. Stupid me. 

A few minutes later, Sean came walking over, taking a seat at the table I was at. "Where did ya go?" 

"I had to sit down. I was getting tired. Plus, it's really hot in here." 

"Oh, come on. Don't be a wimp." 

"I am a wimp. I'll admit it. I'm a wimp who happens to be really out of shape." 

Sean laughed. "Wanna get a slushie? I've got some money of you didn't bring any." 

"Well I didn't bring any but you don't have to..." 

"Shut up. Shut up and let me buy you a slushie." He smirks and walks up to the counter. "Red or blue?" 

"Blue." 

After he ordered our slushies, we went over to sit at the table again. 

We sat in a few minutes, sipping our slushies, when a group approached us. We just ignored them, thinking that they didn't want anything from us. We were wrong. 

"Hey, look who it is. It's the fags." A boy said, and the rest of the group started laughing. 

The fags? Who are they to call me a... Oh wait. 

Sean didn't meet their eyes, and neither did I. We ignored them. But they didn't go away. They kept shouting things at us, and then started saying "whatcha gonna do? Whatcha gonna do?" 

We ignored them the whole time. I didn't know what to do. I felt really bad for Sean, because he had to go through this every day. 

They soon got annoyed and walked away. Thank god. 

"Who were they?" I asked as soon as they had left. 

"Just assholes and nothing more. I swear, coming out was the biggest mistake I ever made." He said, looking down. 

"No it's not. If they can't accept you, then fuck them. You shouldn't have to hide it." I don't know who I thought I was giving out this advice, since not a should knows about me, but whatever. I wanted to help somehow. 

"It must be easy for you. You know, since you're straight." 

Me? Straight? Ha. I wanted more than anything to tell him right then, but I knew deep down I didn't have the guts. "I really don't see a difference between you and me." I said. 

"Sure you do. You're normal, and I'm the gay outcast everyone loves to pick on. My parents took it really good, which I was surprised with, but once word got out to the rest of the neighborhood, it was game over." 

"I'm really sorry. People just don't know when they have to stop and just get over themselves. Now let's go jump some more, shall we?" 

"Actually Mark... I'm getting really tired. I want to head home if that's okay with you." 

"But it's only been like an hour..." 

"You can stay. I'm just gonna go." 

What was wrong with him? Was it because of those dis earlier? I wanted to find them and give them a nice punch to the face. 

"I'll leave to. It's fine. I get it." 

XX 

As we walked home, silence was the only thing to be heard. I knew Sean was upset. But I didn't want to ask him about it. 

I followed him, since I had no idea where he lived and where we were going. 

When we reached his house, he simply said "That was fun, see ya around" and went inside. I sighed. Why did people have to be so cruel? What did Sean's choices do to affect other people's lives so much that they have to bother him about it? 

I stared at his house for a few more seconds, waiting for him to come out the happy guy I was jumping with awhile ago, but he didn't. I turned and walked away. 

Even though tonight wasn't as fun as I had thought it would be, I knew that this was only the start of my friendship with Sean.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Aye. New chapter. Hope you liked it. It was a little longer than usual. I hope it was okay. I feel like it was shit. But it is what it is. 
> 
> I know I said that all of the chapters would be in Mark's POV. But actually, I decided that the next chapter would be better told in Sean's POV, so now we're gonna alternate between the two. 
> 
> Thanks for reading and have a great day/night!


	8. 7.(!)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: (!) = triggering content in this chapter. There are mentions of cutting and suicidal thoughts. Read at your own risk.

Sean's POV 

I had a good night with Mark, no doubt about it. We had a good walk home too. But no matter how much fun we had, I couldn't get over those guys at the trampoline place. I know that I shouldn't let them bother me. But they did. I don't know why people like to bother me because I'm a little different from them. Why does it bother them anyway? 

I make it look like it doesn't bother me in the least, but honestly, their rudeness really does hurt. 

Don't they know it's not a choice? Don't they know how much I want to be straight? To be normal? Don't they know that some nights I cry myself to sleep because the whole neighborhood looks down on me? Of course they don't. It's enough to have adults talking behind my back. But to have my own peers do it, it really hurts. 

Soon as I walk inside, I run into my room and flop onto the bed. I wanted to fall asleep and not wake up for a long time. And when I wake up, I hope that people will finally be accepting. But I know that will never happen. 

I get off the bed and open my dresser. I move all of the clothes out of the way and find what I have hidden there for a long time. My razor. 

I was two months clean. Why was I thinking about this? I couldn't. I shouldn't. 

I roll my sleeve up. I see the scars from long ago. They're not just any scars. They're words. Fag. Queer. Gay. I had etched them in my arm a long while back, and I retraced them every time I was called one of them. And two months ago, I decided that I shouldn't do it anymore. With how many times I got called these words, I would be cutting every hour. It wasn't good. It wasn't healthy. 

But now, I don't know what came over me. I took my razor out of its hiding place and retraced the scars again. They opened up again, and I watched as the blood bled down my arm. I flinched as reopened each wound. I wanted to stop. I didn't know what came over me. I wanted to watch myself bleed out. I didn't belong here. All I was was a fag. A useless queer. 

No, you can't. Sean. Think of your family. This isn't solving anything. Don't. Think of what would happen when you do. 

I was losing so much blood. I was getting dizzy. My shirt was stained with my own blood. I had to escape my room and some how get to the bathroom without raising any alarm from my family. I didn't want them to know what I did. I was never caught cutting, and I wasn't planning on them seeing now. 

I ran into the bathroom. I was pale. Like ghostly pale. I got a towel and stopped the bleeding on my arm. I covered them up and made sure they weren't bleeding anymore. Good. Then I changed out of my clothes and put new ones on. I washed my bloody clothes out in the sink, using soap and hot water. 

Then I went back into my room and put the clothes in a bag, tying it up. Nobody could see them. At least not know, until I came up with a good lie. I had to forget about this. I just wanted to sleep. So that's what I did. I lay down on my bed and fell into a deep sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Yikes. Poor Sean. This was a pretty hard chapter to write because of the cutting. 
> 
> And btw, if any of you cut, please don't. It's not the answer. You're not just hurting yourself, but hurting others, namely the ones you care about. It's okay. You can get help. You're amazing.  
> Please don't ever think otherwise. I know. Trust me, I've been there. But one thing I've learned is that it's never the answer. 
> 
> Have a good day/night. Love you all.


	9. 8.

Sean's POV

"Sean, come on. You have to wake up." My mom urges. I groan and pull my covers over my head. 

"I don't feel good, mom. Can I stay home?" I say, groggy. It's not a complete lie. I got essentially no sleep last night, and my head was throbbing. I didn't feel like moving an inch. I know I would have to eventually, but now wasn't the time. 

"Sure. You better make up your work though." I hear her say. She then sighs and exits the room. Finally. I can cry again. 

It's pathetic. I am pathetic. But I can't help it. This is all just so hard. 

I stuff my head into my pillow so that my mom doesn't hear me. I begin to sob. 

Ten minutes later, my eyes are burning, and my pillow is soaked. I flip the pillow around, not wanting to lay my head in my own tears. 

I wanted to get up. I wanted to go to school. I wanted to do something. But my body and mind wouldn't let me. I felt paralyzed. 

Why me? 

XX

I feel tears rise up into my eyes again. 

No. 

I try to resist them. 

Just when I thought I was done crying... 

They come back again. My enemy. 

Can I win just this once? 

But I can't. 

Go away. Go away. 

And then they come out. 

XX

I can't sleep. It's been two hours since my mom woke me up. Every time my eyes shut, the thoughts come. And then the tears. 

The thoughts cause the tears. But I can't stop them. Just like I can't resist the tears. 

I try to think about other things, but eventually we come back to the same thing. What the people say about me. What everyone really thinks of me. 

Fag. 

He doesn't belong in this neighborhood.

I don't want him going to school with my kids. 

People think that I can't hear them talk about me. I'm not deaf. I'm not dumb. So what makes them think that I can't hear them talking about me? 

I'm gay. That doesn't make me any smarter or any more stupid than anyone. So why do I have to be an outcast? Why am I so different. I wish I was still closeted. I wish nobody knew me. 

Then, maybe everything could be normal. But it's not. I have to live with the fact that I'm supposedly different. I have to go through every day knowing that everyone around me hates me. 

I have to go through everyday knowing that the people around me will never accept who I am. 

Hell, I'm pretty used to all of that now. 

XX 

I'm on my bed, head in my pillow, when suddenly my phone goes off several times. I'm surprised. My phone never goes off. Nobody ever wants to associate with me. 

Then I remember. 

Mark. 

Sure enough, it was him. 

Where were you today? 

I contemplate whether to reply or not. 

Maybe I should. Maybe he'll be worried. But he can't care about me that much can he? 

I decide to text him back, and lie and say that I overslept. He simply says okay and asks if I'll be there tomorrow. I tell him yes. 

I hope I'll be able to be in school tomorrow. 

I have to be. I can't show them that I'm weak. I have to show everyone that I can handle what they say, even when I know I can't. But it hurts. It hurts that they can't accept who I am, especially in this time. 

But what would be even worse is if they know how weak I really am. If they see how pathetic I really am. I have to look tough. I have to pretend to be that asshole that everyone knows I am. Not the weak and insecure kid that I really am.


	10. 9.

Mark's POV 

Sean wasn't in school today, even though he said he would be. Something was surely wrong. It had to be. 

Even though we haven't even been friends that long, I can feel myself already starting care for him a good deal. He's the first person that I've actually let in, why wouldn't I care about him? 

I still felt bad about the other night. I know Sean acted like he really didn't care about what happened, but as we were walking home, I could tell that he totally did care. I don't blame him either. I just hope that isn't the reason he's staying home from school. 

I text him several times after I get to first period, but he doesn't answer one. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't kind of nervous. I know Sean had always been treated like this, but if this was his breaking point. 

I can't help but think that it's all my fault... We could've went somewhere else. Out to eat. We could've just hung out at the park or something during the day. 

Who am I kidding? Things like that could've happened anywhere. And I mean anywhere. I can't blame this all on myself... Then again, I really can. 

What if he really is okay? What I'm just overdoing it? I mean it's highly unlikely, but it could be true. 

"Mark, just because your partner isn't here doesn't mean you can't do work." The teacher says, walking up to my table. 

"Ah... Um... Sorry..." I say. I feel my face turning more and read with each passing second. 

Shoot. I forgot it was still first period. This was going to be a really long day. I can already tell. It's only been like 20 minutes into the school day and I already want to just leave. 

"It's fine. It's your grade that's going to suffer anyway." She then walks away. I scowl at her behind her back. She has no idea what's going through my mind right now. 

The reason I care so much really, is not only because Sean has been my only friend in years, but it's because I relate so much to him. Granted, I am closeted, so I'm pretty safe from all of the attacks that Sean has to endure, but that could be me. I'm going to have to come out with it one day, and it's not going to be pretty. But seeing all that Sean has to go through does not encourage me at all. 

Part of me wants to come out. Then people would make of me too, and Sean would feel less ashamed. But I knew that I was too much of a wimp to do it. I hated myself for that. 

But maybe someday I would tell him. I mean I can't hide it forever. It's only a matter of time, right?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: yikes this was short and so boring. I'm sorry. 
> 
> If you haven't noticed already, this is a really slow burn type thing. If you know me, you know I don't really like rushing into romance. I also don't believe in love at first sight or any of that stuff. But let's not get into that. 
> 
> This was originally going to be like 12-15 chapters long, but the way it's looking, it's gonna be a lot more than that. I do know what's going to happen. Or at least somewhat. All of you that are writers know that plot changes so many times as you're writing. 
> 
> So yeah. The scene you saw in the first chapter isn't happening anytime soon. 
> 
> Thanks for reading and have a great day/night! Love you all!


	11. 10.

Sean's POV 

The human mind is a funny thing. It can be tricked and manipulated so easily. You can know exactly who you are one minute, and then suddenly have all of your humanity stripped away from you the next. 

People sometimes refuse to believe that people can be diagnosed with certain mental disorders. Sometimes people think it's just pretending. How can the perfect person that they once knew turn totally crazy? 

Another funny thing about the mind is that people don't think words effect it. People think that if they call someone names everyday it won't effect them. And those that are being called the names think that just by thinking "they're just words they can't hurt me", they won't feel affected. See, the thing with the human mind is that if it gets told the same thing a bunch of times, it begins to think it's true. If you get called the same name everyday, it'll soon have an effect on you. You'll begin to lose pieces of yourself and slowly begin to turn into what you are told that you are. 

I know this first hand. Yeah, yeah. I know what you're thinking. I'm already a faggot, what's them calling me one gonna do? 

It's really the whole "faggot" thing that bothers me. Sure, that's not really the word choice I like to hear, but I do realize that they won't call me anything different. 

The words that are starting to get to me are much more harsh. And like I said, I'm beginning to believe that I'm becoming what they say. 

Useless. 

Piece of shit. 

Not meant to be here. 

A waste of space. 

There are many more. So many more. And they all have that horrible effect on my brain. I'm starting to believe it. Am I what they say? Am I just a waste of space? 

XX

I decide to go to school, although I got no sleep last night because I spent half of the night staring at my ceiling and crying like the wimp I am. 

I shrugged on some random clothing items from the floor, and barely did anything else. I know I looked like shit. I know that people would be able to see it. But would they care? No. They'd actually be happy to see me suffering. Wasn't that their all time goal? 

I walked into my first period class a few minutes late. The teacher stares at me as I walk in, I'm not sure if she's shocked at my appearance or that I'm late. 

"Hey! You're here!" Mark says enthusiastically as I sit beside him. He's already working on whatever has to be done today. 

"Yeah. Sorry I haven't been." I said, trying not to sound how I felt. 

"It's fine." His face scans me quickly. "Are you I okay?" 

"I'm fine. I've just been a little sick you know? I'm still not totally recovered, but I decided to come to school anyway." I don't look him in the eyes, because I'm afraid that he'll be able to tell that I'm lying. 

"Is that really it?" 

He knows. 

"Yeah." I answer quickly, still looking away. 

"Listen. I know that we haven't known each other for that long. But I just want you to know something. You can tell me anything. Really. You can. You're the first friend I've had in years and I just want you to know that I really do care. I wouldn't be here if I didn't. You don't have to tell me, but I'll never judge you or anything like that. Don't be afraid to talk to me." He whispers to me, so that the teacher or any of classmates don't hear us. 

I feel my heart begin to beat rapidly. I couldn't believe that he had actually said that to me. Nobody ever said anything that nice. He was right, even though we haven't really known each other for that long, there was something that made me know that I could trust him. Were we meant to be friends? Did fate bring us together? No matter what the case is, I'm grateful. 

I know it sounds weird, but I have this feeling deep in my gut that I can and will always trust him. But why does he bother with me? Why doesn't he make fun of me like everyone else? Wouldn't his life be easier? I'm grateful he doesn't though, because I finally have someone. 

"Thanks." I whisper back to him, and for once I feel myself smiling as I work on today's work.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: hey guys! I know, I know. This story takes me the longest to update. I'm sorry. 
> 
> And yes I know that it's not as popular as my others, but I still love it honestly. I hope those of you that are reading do plan to stick around until the end though, because I have some good stuff planned. 
> 
> As always, thanks for reading! 
> 
> Love you all!


	12. 11.

Mark's POV 

Was his smile real? Did what I say actually effect him in any way? It looked like it, but I don't know. If we weren't in class, I would reach out to hug him, give him a little more encouragement. Is that weird? Is it weird that I feel like we've known each other forever? The more we talked, the more we were together, the more I feel like I've known him forever. 

I have honestly never felt more close to someone that I barely knew. I have never connected with someone so easily. I wanted to help him. I really did. But what could I do? 

We worked the rest of the morning in silence. I wanted to break the silence, but I couldn't. I had no idea what to say. 

"You want to hang out after school?" He asks me five minutes before the bell rings. The teacher makes us out our work up for the day, and we're allowed to talk. 

"Sure. Where do you want to go?" I was hoping he wouldn't suggest anywhere like that trampoline park, because we all know what happened when we went there. 

"We'll just go to the park, where there'll be a less chance of us getting... Harassed." He said, looking away. 

"Yeah. I understand. Let's meet up up front after school." 

"Okay, sounds good." 

XX 

After school, we met up as planned. I called my mom, and told her I would be at the park. She was a little skeptical at first, but I told her I'd be back home within a few hours. What would we do at the park for more than a few hours anyway? 

We walked to the park in silence. Sean didn't seem down, he probably just didn't want to talk. 

Once we got to the park, we sat under a tree. People were walking around and talking. A lot of kids came here after school to hang out. 

"I'm sorry." Sean said randomly after a few seconds of us silently sitting under the tree. People probably thought we were a couple or something. 

"For what?" I asked, confused. 

"I don't know why you stick with me. I'm sorry that we always have to go wherever I want because I have to worry about being harassed. You should get to pick too. I'm just really sorry that you have to put up with this. Why do you? Wouldn't it be easier to hate me? To call me a faggot like the rest of them? I appreciate it. Really I do. It's just..." 

"Sean..." 

"It's just I don't like to see people get hurt because of me. I hurt enough people. I hurt my parents when I came out. I'm surprised they didn't kick me out. I would kick me out. And why are you still here? I don't understand why you people stay around someone like me. I'm just what they say. A faggot." 

Mark. Now is a good time. Come on. Tell him. Do it. Don't be weak. Just do it. 

"Sean, there's something I kinda want to tell you." 

"What is it?" I see fear in his eyes. He must think that I'm about to get up and leave or something. 

"Listen... I..." 

"What? Just say it." 

I lower my voice, and look him in the eyes. "Sean. There are many reasons why I stick by you. I see so much of myself in you. You don't deserve this treatment. You deserve love like everyone else. But you wanna know the biggest reason why I knew from the start that you would be a good friend to have? We're not much different. We're the same person. My point is, I'm gay too, Sean."


	13. 12.

Sean's POV 

I stared at him for a few seconds after he spoke, trying to absorb what he said. 

"Are you... You are..." I started, unsure of how to continue. Was he telling me the truth? But how did I not know? There was so much I wanted to know... So much I wanted to ask... But I knew I couldn't just yet. 

"Listen, Sean. I was scared to tell you at first... I was scared to tell anyone. I've been closeted for years. There was never anyone that I could trust. Everyone in this place would just poke fun at me. Then I met you. You were open about the whole thing, and I admired you for that. You didn't really care what others thought. And I did." 

I wanted to tell him the truth. I wanted to lifer up my sleeves and show him my scars. I did care what they thought. I made a huge mistake by being open about who I am. Mark, he was smart. 

"You're smart." I told him. 

"What? Why?" He asked, confused. 

"For staying closeted. Yeah, I'm open about it. And yeah, I'm given shit about it. And at first, I didn't care. Really. I didn't. But as all of the insults began to be thrown at me more and more, I began to lose myself. I began to believe what I was being told." 

"No... You're not what they say. They're hair mad because you're different and they can't understand that. They've grown up to believe that people like us... We're not right. So that's what they believe. But we're the same as them. Really. We are." 

"I just wish I was normal..." I said, trailing off. It was always my number one wish. I've always wanted to be normal. I've always wanted not to be gay. 

"You are. We are." 

"No we're not. They are. Not us." 

"Now you're believing what they say. We are normal. We're people." 

"That's easy for you to say... You're only out to me. I'm out to everyone I know." I snapped at him. I felt bad immediately, but I couldn't help it. My anger was growing by the second, thinking about all of this. 

"I'm sorry. I wish there was a way to make everyone just accept it." 

I felt bad for snapping, since he had such a nice response. "I'm sorry." I told him, looking at the ground. 

"For?" 

"For snapping at you just now." 

"No I understand that it's hard for you. I should've considered that." 

"I won't tell anybody that you're the same as me. I promise." 

"You don't have to promise me anything. I know you won't." 

"Okay." I said, and I felt myself smiling. He smiled back at me, but our moment was ended abruptly. 

"Oh hey, look guys. It's the faggots." 

It was them. The group of kids that tortured everyday. Why were they everywhere? 

"Shit." Mark said, fear in his eyes. I wondered why this was. Then I saw. They had baseball bats. What the hell were they going to do with those? 

"Run." Mark mumbled to me. He immediately got up and began running. They were gonna beat us up. 

I got up and began to run too. Mark was a bit faster than me, but it was okay. We would both get away... We would both get away... 

Suddenly, I felt my face slam into the ground. I tripped. Shit. I tried to get up. But I was too late. Two of the guys held me down while the others prepared their bats. Then they began to beat me. 

"HELP!" I shouted, hoping Mark would hear me. He turned to look and started to approach me, but the guys shouted something at him that I couldn't hear. 

Whatever they said must've scared Mark. Because instead of trying to help me, he turned to look at me one last time before running the other way.


	14. 13.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: so you guys are so damn supportive and sweet to me, so I pushed myself to complete this chapter. Hope it's alright. 
> 
> Thank you all so much for your comments of encouragement. It means a lot to me to have such great people surrounding me.

Mark's POV 

I couldn't stop myself from running. I tried to turn back and save him. But when I tried, they threatened to get me too... 

Why was I so weak? Why was I such a damn wimp? I couldn't stand myself sometimes, but this crossed the line. What if he ended up dead? Would I be happy then because they didn't get me? Ugh, I hated myself. I had to go back for him. I just had to. 

I caught my breath, then turned around. I began running towards him just as quickly as I ran away. 

When I finally got to him, all of those guys were gone. Did I really run that far away? Was I really gone for that long? 

The only thing left at the site was Sean's body. He was laying on the ground. He looked dead. He barely looked like himself. His face was bloody and bruised. His whole body was actually. They must've got him really good with those bats. 

"Sean?" I asked, kneeling down beside him. God, he really was a fucking mess. 

His eyes were basically shut, but I could tell that he was looking at me. "M... Mark?" He words were barely audible. I had to get him help. "You... C... Came back for me." 

"You're gonna be okay." I wanted to cry. I felt so horrible. How could I have let this happen to him. It was all my fault. I'm a fuck-up. But I could fix it. I could save him. 

Gently, I picked him up. He wasn't too heavy, but that didn't mean he was very light either. I had to get him somewhere. Maybe I should bring him to his house. I would bring him to mine, but we all know how my parents are. Everyone knew about Sean, and I wasn't ready to hear their nonsense about what they thought. He needed help, and that was what he was going to be given. 

I walked as fast as I could. I was careful with Sean, I didn't want to hurt him anymore than he already was. I could get him home and maybe help him out. 

When I got to his place, I knocked on the door. After a few seconds, his mother opened up. Her eyes widened with shock as soon as she saw the sight in front of her. 

"What.... Who are you? What happened? Why? Who did this?" She had thick accent, thicker than Sean's, but I could still understand her. 

She was shooting a million questions to me at once, and I didn't really blame her, but I didn't know what to say. 

"I'm... I'm Sean's friend. He got hurt and I just thought I'd bring him here so you could take care of him." 

She looked at me like I was insane. "You want to help Sean? You're the first person that's ever done that." She told me. I immediately felt bad for Sean. Even his parents knew that he wasn't well liked in this neighborhood. But the thing I was wondering was: why didn't they just move out? It was a bad time to be asking questions, and I really shouldn't be thinking about these things when Sean was injured right before my eyes. 

"Should we bring him to a hospital?" I asked her. 

"They won't do shit. They never do shit. What'll they do, give him a damn ice pack? I have stuff here, I'm not gonna drag him there just to sit for twenty minutes before anyone pays any attention to him." 

Damn... She was pretty pissed about the whole hospital thing. I shouldn't have asked. "Okay. I'll help." 

"Honey, you don't have to. You brought him here, that's enough for me." 

"No I'll help. Really. It was kinda... Uh... It was kinda my fault anyway."

"What do you mean?" 

"I uh... He got beat up by some kids and I kinda... Came too late." 

"It's fine. We can take care of him now." I was surprised that she didn't want to beat my ass for basically letting her son get like this, but I was also quite relieved. But hey, she was right. We were going to care for him now. 

We brought him in. His mother set down some blankets and pillows on the couch. I laid him down on there while she went and got some supplies for us. 

While she was gone, I took another look at Sean. He was looking worse by the second. I wanted to cry, because I had let this happen to him. Would he ever forgive me? I don't blame him if he didn't. 

That's when it hit me. I could lose my only friend. 

Good job, dumbass. 

"You'll be okay." I told him, feeling tears form in my eyes. I tell myself he can hear me, although I know he doesn't. 

I don't know why I'm going to cry over this. He'll be okay. He doesn't even have to go to the hospital. It isn't that bad. 

I kept telling myself these things, but I couldn't believe them. It was bad. I could've avoided this whole thing. 

I slipped my hand into his. It was cold as hell. And dirty. But I really didn't care at all. 

"I'm sorry..." I whispered to him. 

"Okay, let's get this going." His mom send, interrupting the little moment I was having. I felt myself blushing immensely. I hope she wasn't paying attention. 

"Uh... Yeah." I said, trying not to sound as flustered as I was. 

"Thank you." She told me. 

"What?" 

"For bringing him here." She laughed. "I'm thankful that he has someone as nice as ya. Thanks again." 

"No problem." I told her, smiling. Hopefully Sean would still forgive me and want to even be my friend when I woke up. I felt tears welling up yet again at the thought. 

I simply shook them all away as I grabbed some supplies to help Sean's mom.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: so there it is. Sorry it took me so damn long, I kinda had some troubles with it. But I wanna thank HannahUrquhart8 for helping out. You should go check her out. 
> 
> I don't have much to say, so hope you all enjoyed the chapter! See ya'll next time! Love you all!


	15. 14.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I got my first translation request and I'm not okay

Sean's POV 

I open my eyes. I'm in my house again. How did I get here? Wasn't I just getting beat up? Was that all just a dream? 

I felt a grip on my hand and I turned over to see... Mark? What was going on? Why was he here? 

Was I dead? That had to be the only explanation. They probably beat me to death, and I was in the afterlife or something. 

"You're up!" Mark exclaimed, causing me to fall back onto planet earth. 

"Mark? What are you doing in my house? We're you just... Holding my hand?" I had so many questions to ask. 

"N... No." He quickly answered, his face turning bright red. He looked down at the ground. 

"Mhm." I say, laughing. "But you didn't answer my other questions. How did I get here?" 

"I brought you here, obviously." 

"Shouldn't I be in a hospital or something?"

"I suggested that, but your mom wouldn't have it." He said, laughing. 

Oh yeah. I had forgotten about my mom for a second, and how strong she could come off sometimes. I've always admired her way of saying whatever she felt, and not caring what anyone thought. That's probably why she accepted me when I first came out. She doesn't care what others do or think. She tells me all of the time that it doesn't matter what these people think, because once we get enough money to move and get a nice place, we will. She often tells me that she chose this place to live because upon first sight, it looks like a nice quiet place. The perfect place for a family. 

But sometimes the most perfect looking places and people are always the worst. 

My dad was pretty much the same way about this. He usually did what my mom said, he was the more quiet of the two. He worked a lot help us get more money. 

"Yeah. Sorry if she yelled at ya or anything. She can come off a little... Strong to some people." I tell Mark. 

"No, it's fine. She just didn't think they would do anything and that she had all she needed to care for wounds here, so why bring you there? She's kinda right, because we patched you up pretty good." 

"Well um... Thanks." I tried to sit up, but I winced in pain. Even though I was covered in bandages and such, I was still in horrible pain and my head felt like it was gonna explode. 

There was a small silence between the two of us. I'm not the one that broke it, though. 

"Sean..." Mark started. I was unsure exactly of where he was going or what he wanted to tell me. 

"Yeah?" 

"I'm uh... I'm really sorry. I know I should've said it as soon as you woke up, but I really am. I feel so bad." 

"Wait what are you talking about?" 

"I... I let you get beat up. I could've stopped it. I'll be the first to admit it." 

Then I remembered. Mark ran away from me. He was scared. They had said something to him. 

"I'm such a coward. I can't believe I let that happen... I can't believe you're actually talking to me... I'm so so sorry..." 

"Mark." I said, interrupting him. I don't know what sent him going off like this, but I was going to stop it. 

"W... What?" 

"It's fine. Do you not realize that you saved me by bringing me here? You could've just left me. I'm not mad that you ran away. I'm happy that you came back for me. I can't believe that you did. I thought I was dead for sure." 

He looked shocked for a second. "Really? You're not pissed?" 

"Like I said, you kinda saved my life." 

He took a few seconds to absorb what I had told him, then his mouth stretched into a smile. I smiled back, probably looking deformed, but I really didn't care. I was glad to have him, really. Nobody else would have cared if I was in the grass, dead. To most people that seems absurd, but for me, it's a known fact. Nobody likes me around here. Except him. 

"Oh my god!" I heard my mom shout as she came into the room, causing both Mark and I to jump a mile. 

"You're up!" She said, running over to me and pulling me into a crushing hug. I was happy to see her too, but didn't she realize that I had bruises in every place possible? 

"Ow mom... You're hurting me." I said, wincing in pain. 

"I'm just so happy to see you!" She exclaimed. 

"I'm gonna go home now. I'll talk to you, Sean." Mark announced, getting up. 

"Okay, see you soon. Thanks again for saving my life." I said, smiling at him as he walked out. 

XX 

"Sean." My mom says as soon as Mark leaves, suddenly more serious than before. 

"Yes?" I ask, wondering what was up with her sudden change of tone. 

"I gotta ask you something. While your little friend and I were cleaning you up, we saw some... Bandages on your arm. I wanted to take them off, but I didn't know how long they were there for. What are they?" 

Suddenly my throat goes dry. I can't speak. What do I tell her? This didn't even come to my mind. I can't tell her I cut. I can't. 

"Mom... Don't worry about it. I just scrapped my arm up pretty good, and they patched it up at school." I said, hoping it wasn't too obvious that I was lying. 

"Well do you want me to change them, or..." She says, grabbing my arm. 

"No." I said, quickly pulling my arm away. I pretended to wince in pain. "It's fine mom. It happened very recently, and I don't think anything needs to be done yet." I tell her. 

"Whatever you say." She says, getting up. I can tell she's skeptical. "Let me know if you ever do need help with it though." 

No. No. No. No. No. 

"I can take care of myself mom. But thanks." I said, not meeting her eye. She's gonna find out. I can't hide anymore. 

She looked back at me one last time before she left the room and went into the kitchen, leaving me alone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: sorry for the lateness of this chapter haha. Hope you enjoyed it though. 
> 
> So I was reading over this, and then I realized "oh shit. Mark and Sean's mom are gonna see the bandages from when Sean cut." That's where the last bit came from. I had to add it, otherwise there would be a hole in the story, and I didn't want that. 
> 
> As always, love you all!


	16. 15.

Mark's POV

I walk home rather quickly, because I know that my parents are gonna be worried by now. They like me to come home directly after school, and tell them if I'm going to be late. 

I didn't say anything today, obviously. I couldn't. I had to come up with some sort of lie. I couldn't tell them that I was helping out Sean. They don't even know I'm friends with him. 

As soon as I enter the house, my mom is waiting for me. 

I knew she would be. 

"Hi mom." I say casually, hoping that she'll let this whole thing go. I try to walk by but, you probably guessed it, she blocked the way and stopped me short. 

"Don't think you're gonna just get through me that easily. Where were you? Be honest. And I'll know if you're lying. Your face looks guilty right now." 

I feel myself begin to sweat at her question. "Mom... It was nothing..." I tried, but that didn't seem to work. 

"Mark Edward Fischbach. Tell me the truth right now." I knew she was really pissed at this point, using my full name and all. 

I gulped. I was stupid. I was so worried about simply getting home that I didn't even come up with a lie to use. I look down. 

Mark, you gotta think of something. Hurry the hell up... 

"There was a fight at the park... And I went to watch. I know it was a stupid thing to do, but everyone else was going there, so I just..." 

"A fight? Between who?" She asked. Why the hell was she even interested. That's why I never understood about my parents. They were way into other people's business. 

Stupidly, I blurted out the truth... Sorta. I said that some kids wanted to fight Sean, and had ended up beating him to a pulp. I didn't dare say I was hanging out with him when that had happened, and that they had threatened to beat me up too. 

She laughed. "Oh, that little faggot kid. Who cares about him getting beat up. I'm glad you went to see that. He needs that shit knocked out of him." 

I wanted to slap her. I wanted to curse at her. I wanted to tell her Sean was my friend. Most of all, I wanted to say "mom, I'm a faggot kid too." But instead, I kept my mouth shut and went to my room. 

XX 

I laid on my bed for a long time, thinking. I should have been doing homework. I should have done something. 

But instead, I just thought about everything that had gone on lately. Why did my parents have to be like this? Especially my mom. She was grown, for god's sake. Why couldn't she just accept that people were different? Why does she care who other people like anyway. It's not like it effects her, not like she has a child that likes dick... 

Oh wait. 

I laughed to myself. Then I thought of Sean. My heart began to flutter at the thought of his name, but I simply ignored it. I thought about how I took care of him. And how he actually was okay with me and didn't hate me. 

Then I remembered when his mom and I found the bandages on his arms. 

"What are these? Should we change them?" She had asked me. 

I looked at them. I was just as confused as she was. I didn't remember Sean getting any bit injured recently. "They look pretty new..." This had actually confused me even more. What had happened? Sean hadn't told me about anything happening to him that recently. 

We didn't end up taking the bandages off. We just left them. But I knew that the whole thing hadn't gone unnoticed, and that both his mom and I wanted to know exactly what had happened. 

XX 

Sean wasn't in school the next day, as expected. Instead, I was the target of the day. 

"Heard you helped your little boyfriend out." One of them had said to me, walking up to my table first period. 

At first, I was tongue tied. I didn't want to say anything to him. But he became persistent, and kept calling me names and referring to Sean as my boyfriend. I was getting sick of it, and I felt the anger bubble build up inside me, like it always did. But this time, I was gonna act on it. I wasn't going to let him go. 

"Where did you hear that? And why the hell do you care so much? You call him my 'boyfriend', but you go out of your way to pester him every day. Seems like you're just a little too obsessed with him, huh? If you hated him as much as you say you do, you wouldn't be on him every free second. Why do you hate him anyway? Because of his sexuality? That's pretty pathetic. Who the fuck are you anyway? Maybe instead of bothering people, you should work on that ego of yours and get the fuck over yourself. Go fuck yourself, because nobody else will." 

I didn't believe what I had just said. Everyone in the class had heard me, too. Well, most of them anyway. They were all gaping in shock that the quiet little Mark had just spoken up. I probably had the same facial expression as all of them, if I was being honest. I didn't know why I had said all of that, maybe I had gone a little too far, but I was really done with this guy and his nonsense. 

"Who fuck do you think you are? You fucking loser. You don't belong here. Just like your little faggot friend. Do you think you're great or something because you're friends with him? Well guess what, nobody here likes him, and nobody here likes you, either." He says, anger drilling from his voice. I pissed him off, and I pissed him off good. 

He then lunges at me and tries to attack me, but the teacher runs over and quickly breaks it up. He keeps trying to come at me though, and the teacher has to hold him back. 

"Somebody go get SECURITY!" The teacher shouted. Somebody runs out, I don't know who. I would've, but seeing how pissed I made him just by talking, it wouldn't be good if I went to go get someone and rat him out. 

"You fuckin' punk!" He shouts as security takes him out of the room. 

I honestly felt relieved. I know you might have been thinking that since I snapped, I turned into some savage. Well guess what. I was a still a wimp, and I wasn't ready to get my ass beat. 

I texted Sean throughout the day, and I had told him what happened. 

He simply responded by telling me I did a good job, and he wished he had my willpower. 

Yeah, Sean. If only you knew how fucking scared I was right now. 

I was freaking out on the inside. A lot of people were giving me glares in the hall. Yeah, I had stood up, but that didn't mean that this was over.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: okay so my power might cutoff soon, and I'm hoping it won't, but in case it does, here's this unedited thing. 
> 
> Anyway, quick question for you all. Who do you think that the guy pestering Sean and Mark should be? I want him to be a YouTuber, but I dunno know who it should be. So lemme know what you guys think. 
> 
> Anyway, thanks for reading! Love you all!


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: so I got a few suggestions for who the guy should be, but I think the most fitting one would be Keem, but I also thought that Pewdiepie would be a different and cool person to make it, since there are not many stories where he is an antagonist. 
> 
> So, since there are a group of guys, I can make both Keem and Pewds the "bad guys", but Keem is going to be the one you seen in the last chapter because the anger issues reminded me so much of Keem. So when you guys suggested that I realized how much it fit. 
> 
> I just wanted to say this now, but those guys aren't gonna be in this chapter since this is Sean's POV. We will get more on that when we switch to Mark next chapter. 
> 
> Anyway, onto the chapter!

Sean's POV 

Nobody came to visit me. Everyone knew about that I had gotten beat up, even if they didn't know the whole story, they still knew that it had happened to me. 

Of course, I wasn't surprised about this at all. I wasn't expecting anybody to visit me. Although a part of me was wishing that at least one person would send me flowers or something... 

Well except for Mark. He visited, of course. But if he wasn't my friend, I don't think that he would. 

If was him, I wouldn't visit a loser like me. As I always say, I was grateful to have a friend like him. I never met anybody that cared for me like that. Except my parents, but they of course didn't count. 

Speaking of Mark, he texted me and told me that he stood up to the guy that had always been bothering us. I was happy to hear that someone finally had the guts to say something. 

I always thought that everyone was scared of the bigger and richer families in our town, and that's why they were all against gays. I mean, what were the odds that a whole town would be against gay people? This wasn't the olden days or something. 

I honestly never thought that a guy like Mark would actually stand up for himself like that. It was nothing against him... He was just way too shy about everything. I was still in shock that he had told me that he was gay too. It was crazy to think that there could actually be people like this in this place. 

Now as for my mom, she hasn't said anything about the whole bandage situation, which I was glad for, but I knew that didn't mean she forgot. 

I was counting down the minutes until she asked me about it. I had to come up with some more lies. 

What if she asked me to take the bandages off? What would I do then? She'd see the words carved into my arm. She'd know that I had done them to myself. 

I didn't want to think of what would happen. She knew something was up. It was only a matter of time... 

XX 

Over the next few days, my body took on the natural healing process. The bruises began to disappear one by one, and the scabs from my many scars were beginning to fall off. 

Soon, I was able to move without feeling pain. As soon as I was able to, I went into the bathroom and took off my bandages. 

I saw the words carved into my arm. I couldn't look at them, but I had to. Each scar was a reminder of how much everyone hated me. 

I could look at each one and remember exactly when and where it was made, and exactly when I had retraced over them again. 

In the school bathroom. In my own bathroom. In my room. 

I closed my eyes. I tried to shake the thoughts away. But the thing was, I couldn't. I had a permanent reminder of what people said to me. 

The funny thing was, I didn't want to have a reminder of this. I really wish I hadn't done this to myself. That means they won. That means that they got to me. 

I go to grab the bandages, and I must've pulled them out way too quickly, because a bunch of other things fell onto the floor as well. They fell with a crash, and I winced at the loud noise. 

"Are you okay!?" My mom asked from outside the door. 

Oh no. No. This couldn't happen. "I'm fine mom." I answer, but I can tell she doesn't believe me. 

"Are you sure?" 

"Yeah mom, I'll be fine. I just uh... Some things dropped out of the cupboard." 

"Oh. Okay. That's fine. No need to be nervous. I'm not mad. I'll help you put them back up." She says, and my heart begins to race. My arm isn't covered. She can't come in here. 

"I'll be o-" But before I could finish, I heard the door knob twisting and my mom stepping in.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: short chapter, but don't fret, the next one shall be longer. 
> 
> This is unedited, because I'll be gone for most of the day today. 
> 
> Thanks for reading and I love you all


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: hey everyone! I'm so horrible at updating this like I literally have no schedule whatsoever. Eh. I work better without time constraints anyway. 
> 
> But I can't believe I've been writing this since May. Like nothing has even happened in this story. 
> 
>  
> 
> Now let's see what's going on with Mark!

Mark's POV 

Daniel. 

That was the guy's name. The guy that I stood up to. The guy that I told off. The guy that literally wants to rip my heart out with his hands. 

Yeah. He's kinda out for my blood now. School is becoming a less safe place for me, with this guys trying to run after me wherever I went. He had some serious anger issues. 

I have to be cautious in the halls now. He could pop out from anywhere. I didn't waste time in the halls. I went straight to class. I didn't go to the bathroom. I waited until I got home. 

People told me that he wanted to kill me for embarrassing him in public like that. I thought it was a bit far to want to actually hurt me, but the guy obviously had some problems. 

When people told me that he wanted to fight me and hurt me, I acted like it didn't phase me. But inside, I was freaking out of course. Did you really think that I would fight? It took everything I had to just stand up to him, and I was kinda wishing that I hadn't done that. It was causing too much trouble. 

A few people told me that they were amazed at what I did. They told me that they never would have thought that I had it in me, and that I was actually pretty cool. I tried to ignore them, because I really didn't want to be known as the kid that told Daniel off. Sure, deep down I feel happy and proud of myself, but I really don't want them only to like me for that. Because then they'd be loving me and admiring me for someone I'm really not, ya know? 

Lunch was the worst part of the day. A few people were sitting with me now, the same ones that thought I was cool for doing what I did. I was still amazed that people actually thought it was good that I stood up. I honestly thought that everyone would hate me, just like Daniel and his friends. 

"You gonna fight me soon, pussy?" Daniel asked, walking up to my table. He did this everyday now. He would come up to the table and taunt me. I would usually just ignore him, although I felt all of the anger welling up inside of me. I wanted to say something to him, tell him off again. But I was a coward and didn't want anything more to happen to me, and I didn't want to make him anymore mad than he was. 

I ignored him yet again, as he shouted taunting things at me. I looked down at my feet. He only stayed for about 30 seconds, but it felt like an hour. 

"Why didn't you tell him off?" One of the new people sitting at my table asked. Did they actually think I was a badass now or something? 

"Because there's no need. I said all I wanted to say to him before." I said. I would let them know the truth. That I was a wimp. 

"Come on you're just gonna let him say that shit to you?" Another one of the guys says. 

"Yeah... I never said I wanted to fight him. That's just pointless." 

They sigh and roll their eyes. We don't talk for the rest of the period. 

I miss Sean. Yeah, I went over his house after school everyday. But he mostly rested. We couldn't really do anything except for talk. Not that I minding talking to him. We always had something to say to each other, and that's why we were so close. I felt myself blush at the thought. 

He wasn't texting me today though. I wondered why. He was probably still asleep, so I would try not to freak and spam him. 

What I realized over these past few days is that most of the people in my school aren't really that great of people anyway. Sure, a few thought I was "cool" now, but most of them wanted Daniel to beat my ass. For what reason I didn't know, but they wanted to see me get beat. 

When the bell finally rings signaling the end of the day, I practically run out of the school. I'm one of the first ones out, thankfully. 

I do a quick scan for Daniel. He isn't around yet, so I keep walking. I look back every few seconds just to make sure I'm safe, because I never know when he could pop up. Once the school was out of sight, I felt like I was finally safe. 

I went to Sean's house just like I usually did. I rung the doorbell. Nobody answered for a few seconds. 

Seconds turned into minutes, so I rung it again. No answer again. 

Where were they? What was going on? Maybe they just went somewhere. I shouldn't freak out too much. That would explain why Sean hadn't texted me all day too. 

I walk away, and decide that I'll call him later. 

XX 

My mom wasn't suspicious of me as much anymore, which was good. I told her that I had friends, and she was excited like I thought she would be. 

But today, I didn't have to explain anything to her, because I was home on time. I went up to my room, and simply laid on the bed, thinking of things. 

When I say things, I mean feelings. Feelings I wouldn't tell anyone about. 

These feelings I'm referring to are about Sean. There were some things that were changing about my feelings towards him recently. 

I'm never going to tell anyone this(not even Sean), but I think I may have a slight crush on him. I didn't know for sure, but there was something inside me that told me that I liked him as more than just a friend. 

Whenever he smiled, I felt something inside me that wasn't something that friends were supposed to feel for each other. 

His laugh, it was something magical. Hearing it was like shooting star dust into my veins. It was something I could listen to all day. 

Yeah. This definitely not something that friends felt for each other. He probably didn't feel the same about me though... 

And his eyes. His eyes. They were beautiful, and I have never seen ones that were as beautiful. 

I felt all of the blood rise to my cheeks as I thought about him. 

I liked him, there was no doubt about that. I didn't want to fall for my best friend, but hell, I did. I knew it wasn't love or anything crazy like that, but I liked him. 

I tried to push those thoughts out of my head. What if my parents find out? 

Ah to hell with them. Homophobic assholes. 

Much as I wanted to rub it in my family's face that I'm gay, I really couldn't. They would spread the word and it would be around like wildfire. 

My thoughts shift from my parents to Sean again, and I couldn't help it. How did it always come to him? I feel myself blush. I try telling myself to stop, but it just doesn't work. I can't stop thinking about him. I have to do something to get my mind off of it. If I sit here, my mind will drift off to places that it's not supposed to and I can't let that happen. 

How did I let this happen? Why did I have to feel this way about my best friend, who also happened to be my only friend? Oh yeah I think I know why. 

I'm gay as fuck.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: oh wow look Mark is catching feelings. It's only been 17 chapters. 
> 
> But like what's gonna happen from here? Is he gonna tell Sean or nah? Probably, this is a fanfiction lmao. 
> 
> But all jokes aside, hope you enjoyed the chapter and thanks so much for reading! Love you all!


	19. Chapter 18 (!)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (!)= mature content. Mentions of self harm.

Sean's POV 

Panic. 

That was what I felt as my mom came in. I didn't even have time to think of a lie. This was it. I was over. 

"What were you trying to get?" She asked, walking towards me. That's when she saw my sleeve up. She knew exactly what I was trying to do. "Oh the bandages for your arm. Lemme see how bad it is, maybe you don't even need one." 

I felt my heart race. Why did she care so much? Why did this matter? Before I could say anything or protest, she took my arm and flipped it over, revealing my scars. 

Her eyes widened as she looked at the words etched on my arm. She stared for a solid two minutes. Her finger traced over the scars, as if she was making sure that they were real. 

"You did this? To yourself?" She asked, voice shaking. I've never seen my mom like this, it wasn't good. She was about to break down, and it was all my fault. 

It was all my fault. 

I looked down, not able to utter a word. She already knew the answer. She knew I did this to myself. She just didn't want to believe it. 

Tears began to stream down her face. "Why? Why would you do this? Why?" She was beginning to get frantic. She let go of my arm and exited the bathroom, speeding towards my room. 

I followed her, unsure of what was happening and what she wanted. She immediately begin to tear things apart, knocking things off of the shelves and opening the drawers. 

"Mom! What are you doing?" I asked. I was on the verge of crying. Why did this have to happen? This is why I kept it hidden from her. I wish it could've been hidden forever though... 

"Where is it? Where the fuck is it?" She asked. She was angry now. 

"Where's what? Mom!" I said. I tried to pull her away and calm her down, but it was no use. She was going ballistic. 

"What you did that with. The fucking razor. You didn't do that with your nails, Sean." She was still ripping through everything. 

She picked up a bag on the floor. I didn't know what it was at first, but realization hit me like a damn truck. 

"What is this?" She asked. Before I could even utter an answer, she tore open the bag. The clothes came falling out. 

"What the hell?" She asked, picking them up and examining them. "Is this blood?" 

I simply nodded. She looked at me, and then sat down on my bed. She let the clothes fall from her hand and onto the floor. Then, she put her face in her hands and began to sob. 

I couldn't believe that I had caused this. I could've avoided this, if I just wasn't stupid... 

I want to hurt myself even more. I always mess things up. I sat down beside my mom. "Mom, I'm sorry... I really am." I felt tears form in my eyes. I wanted to stop them, but I just couldn't. They began pouring down my cheeks, hot and heavy. 

"It's okay... You don't have to hurt yourself." She said, in between sobs. "This is all my fault. We can't stay in this place. I can't stand to see everyone look at you like you're some monster. I can't. We need to move. I just wish I had money..." 

"Mom... It's fine. It's not your fault, you had no idea that I was..." 

"It's fine. Don't blame yourself. You are who you are. Now, where is that razor or whatever you used. Give it to me. I don't want you to hurt yourself any further." 

Where had I put the razor? I didn't know. I wish I did. Now she's gonna think I hid it and want to cut again. "I don't know where I put it..." 

"You're lying." She said, just as I expected. 

"No, I-" 

I was cut off by the doorbell ringing. It was probably Mark. I forgot that he came over my house everyday. I hadn't even talked to him that much today. 

I look at my mom and turn towards the door to my room. As I begin to walk out, she grabs and pulls at my arm. 

"Your friend can come over later. We need to have a little talk first. You can call him later." She told me. 

"Mom... I'm sorry okay, it's just I couldn't take it anymore..." 

"But that doesn't mean you have to do this." 

"Mom, I didn't know how else to cope with the pain. I really didn't. I had nobody to talk to, nothing..." 

"I'm a failed parent. My kid doesn't even want to talk to me about his problems." 

"Mom. It's not like that. I didn't want to tell anyone. It's too embarrassing." 

She didn't answer. Instead, she began to cry again. That's when I realized. She didn't fail as a parent. I just failed as her child.


	20. Chapter 19.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so so sorry for uploading this so late. I actually posted these two chapters on Wattpad the other day, but I forgot to post them here. I'm so sorry. But, to get further updates before I post them here, follow me on Wattpad (ashyishere) https://www.wattpad.com/user/ashyishere And yes, i double updated so go back and read the previous chapter if you haven't!

Mark's POV 

Sean was back in school today. I wasn't expecting him to be, because we hadn't really talked lately, so when he walked into our class in the morning, I was kind of excited. Maybe a little too excited. 

"Sean!" I said pretty loudly, feeling my heart beat fast. He looked kinda pale and some of his scars and bruises were still pretty visible, but other than that, he looked much better than he did before. 

After I shouted his name out like that, the entire class was staring at me as if I had committed a felony. I was excited to see my friend, so what? Okay, maybe I had a little crush on him and it made me even more happy to see him, but what did that matter anyway? 

Mark, your gay is showing. That's why they're all looking at you like that. 

I didn't bother worrying about it though, I was too happy that Sean was back. What I was worrying about was the fact that Daniel was staring at him, and the look in his eyes made me feel uneasy. 

He looked much less than happy as he sat down beside me, though. 

"Hey." He mumbled, not looking at me. 

His attitude at the moment reminded me of when I had first met him. Pissed off. I wondered what was wrong, he was never this way towards me once we became friends. 

"You okay?" I whispered to him. But he didn't respond. 

Maybe I should just give him time. Maybe something had happened in his family or something. 

I didn't need to know what was wrong. I wanted to, but if he didn't want to tell me, so be it. I just wanted him to be okay. Something was obviously wrong. 

I pulled out some paper. We would have to use our old way of speaking, since he wasn't going to answer me anytime soon. 

I'm here for you, just so you know. You don't have to tell me what's wrong, but I just hope you know that I'll be here to make you feel better even if I don't know what's bothering you. 

I scrawled it down quickly, because the teacher was walking around and checking on how everyone was doing. Sean and I hadn't even started the day's work yet. I didn't even know what they were doing. 

I quickly passed the note to Sean and read over the packet that had been placed on my desk. The teacher always had our work set down for us, and she would be pissed if she walked over and saw us not working. 

Sean stared at the paper for a few seconds before he picked it up and opened it. His eyes quickly scanned over it, and then he flipped it over and wrote something down quickly. 

After he was finished, he quickly slid to me. I read it, as I watched the teacher in the corner of my eye. 

I'm fine. It's just some stupid things. I'll be alright, don't worry about it. 

But I knew that he was lying and that he wasn't alright at all. I wasn't going to pressure him, though. 

I whispered "Wanna hang out after school?" to him, to change the subject. 

In response, he tugged the piece of paper that we were writing on and wrote one word, "Yes." I wondered why he didn't want to talk to me. 

Just about then, the teacher came towards us. "Hope you two are working. What's that paper?" She asked us. 

I crumbled it up and chuckled. "Nothing, just some calculations." 

She stared for a few seconds before walking away. 

The rest of class went by as usual. We finished up our work. As you probably expected, we don't speak at all. Maybe he would talk to me after school. 

When the bell rang, we got up to leave as usual, but as soon as I walked out of the classroom I felt someone tug onto my arm. 

I turned around, expecting Sean, but instead getting Daniel. 

"Your little friend is back, huh?" He asked, grinning. 

"Yeah... So?" I answered, trying to get away from him. But he kept pulling me back. 

"Don't you ever wanna get revenge on us?" 

I knew what he was doing. He was trying to lure me in by acting like I was a wimp. I was, but that was beside the point. Him telling me that wasn't going to make me any bit stronger. 

"I'm good." I said. 

"Yeah, okay. Listen. Me and Felix will be waiting for you outside school today. Meet you there." He said, then he was gone. 

Who was Felix? Why was he so determined? Didn't he get what he wanted? 

Now I would have to find a way to escape from him after school today, because I sure as hell would not be fighting him. And I wasn't going to drag Sean into it either. If it really came down to it, I would fight them to keep Sean safe. I couldn't have him getting hurt again, ever again. 

XX 

The end of the day approached quickly. I texted Sean and let him know where we wanted to meet up at the end of the day. We would have to find a way to get out of the school, and escape the guys that were more than likely waiting for us. I had had told him about the guys wanting to fight us, and he had just said that we should avoid them at all costs, and that was exactly what we were going to do. 

He still wasn't talking for whatever reason. He waved to me and I simply waved back, unsure of what else to do. 

All day today, people kept talking about the fight. I wanted to tell them all that it just wouldn't be happening, but they'd have to find that out for themselves. 

"Follow me." I whispered to him. I grabbed his wrist and basically dragged him outside, looking around. I had to protect him most of all. They could get me, but they weren't touching him. 

"If you see those guys, you let me know. Grab my arm or something. Just let me know somehow, okay?" I'm not even sure what the other guy looked like, but I'm sure that he would be right by Daniel's side anyway. 

I know that I sounded strong, and I couldn't believe that this was happening, but I was shaking just as much as he was. 

This was bad. This was really bad. 

I don't see anything. I keep walking. We keep doing so for a few minutes, until we hear someone scream out "There they are!" 

Two people came running towards us, one was Daniel and one was someone that I didn't recognize. It was probably that other guy that Daniel had mentioned, Felix. 

Not this again. Can anything ever end well for us? 

"Sean. Run." I whispered into his ear. 

He began to run, and lemme tell you, he was really fast. Much faster than me. I was running as well, but I was slower, so I couldn't do anything when when Daniel pulled my arm and caused me to fall down. 

"Felix!" Daniel shouted at the other boy as he kept running towards Sean. Daniel had my arms pinned to the ground, and I was squirming and trying to get out. 

Felix stopped in his tracks and ran back towards where Daniel had me on the ground. What were they doing? Sean must have not noticed that I got caught by Daniel, because he was long gone. There was a part of me that wished he would come back, but maybe I deserved this, after what I let happen to him... 

I had no idea what was going on. Felix held my arms down as Daniel pulled something out of his pocket. He smirked down at whatever it was and came closer. 

It was a knife. It wasn't a huge one, but it was a knife nonetheless. 

This was it. I was gonna wind up in the hospital. Maybe I would even end up dead. 

"Dude! Fuck!" I heard Felix shout, releasing my arms from his grasp. 

"What are you doing? Hold him down!" Daniel spat back at him. 

"That's too fucking far. We're not going to kill someone." 

"You always ruin my fun, Felix." 

"Your 'fun' is literally going to kill someone! What the fuck is wrong with you?" 

I had no idea why Felix was suddenly sticking up for me, but I was happy he was. I should've gotten up and ran, but instead I watched the argument unfold in front of me. 

"Okay but would you rather me hurt you instead? Guess you were just a fucking pussy after all." 

"Fuck you. I didn't know that you were like this." 

Daniel was walking closer to Felix now, pointing the knife at him. 

"Daniel. Put the knife down." Felix was sounding afraid at this point. He took a step back. 

"No." Daniel said, smirking. 

"Please. This doesn't have to happen." 

I wish someone was around to see this. I wish someone could help. That's when I realized that we didn't need anyone there. I was there, just sitting on my ass. I could help. 

I got up. I was extremely nervous. I wondered if I looked as nervous as I felt. 

Get over it, Mark. 

I took a deep breath. 

But he has a fucking knife... what is someone like me going to do? 

I closed my eyes, taking another breath. 

Then, I took action. I charged at Daniel with everything that I could, and he surprisingly fell to the ground. He ended up dropping the knife, and I quickly picked it up before he had the chance to do so. 

Daniel immediately got back up, and he was beyond pissed. 

He elbowed my ribs, causing me to drop the knife on the ground. He was about to reach for it when Felix stepped in. He kicked the knife away, somewhere we couldn't see it. 

"What the fuck! That was my dad's knife! You dumbass!" Daniel said, lunging at Felix. 

I came up behind Daniel and pulled him back, pulling him to the ground. 

"Get off of me! You have no right!" He was shouting, along with a long string of curse words. 

"He has every right." Felix said, punching him in the face. 

"Fuck you both." Daniel said, getting up. "You could get in big trouble for hitting me, and I won't stop until you do." 

"We can just tell them that you pulled a knife and we were just protecting ourselves." Felix said, smirking. He was right, and Daniel knew it. 

Daniel had nothing to say. He mumbled a few curse words before storming away. I knew he was going to want revenge or something sooner or later, but I wasn't worried at the moment. 

"Hey... Thanks." I told Felix. 

"No need to thank me. I didn't think he was going to go that fucking insane. I'm sorry. I didn't know what I was thinking when I even agreed to this stupid fight..." He replied, looking down at his feet. 

"It's okay. At least it's all good now." 

"What about your friend?" 

"Oh, he probably ran far off now. He's probably at home now." I had forgotten about Sean, because I was still in complete and utter shock from what had happened. I should probably go check up on him soon. 

"Well, thanks again." I told Felix. 

"Thank you too. You helped get the damn knife away from him. I would've been dead if you didn't help out, most likely." 

"No problem..." I wanted to add in how I didn't think that I had it in me, but that was unnecessary and I didn't need him knowing how weak I really was. 

I have him a small wave as I ran off. I wonder if Sean even noticed that I was gone. I wonder where he thinks I am. He probably thinks I'm at home. 

Suddenly, I crash into someone. I was too deep in my thoughts to notice someone running in my direction. 

"Oh! Fook!" I heard the person shout, and that's when I realized that it was Sean. 

I rubbed my head. It was sort of throbbing with pain. "Sean!" I exclaimed. 

He looked at me and smiled. He was in obvious pain as well. "Mark? Are you okay? I didn't even notice you were gone until a few minutes and then I got worried so I looked around and I'm just so sorry that I didn't notice earlier I hope those guys didn't do anything to you..." 

He sure was making up for all of the talking he wasn't doing earlier. I felt bad because this is the exact opposite of what I did when he got attacked. 

"They didn't. It's okay. Daniel pulled a knife... but we got it away from him." I assured him. 

"We? Who's we?" He asked, cocking a brow. He was talking extremely fast and I could barely process what he was saying, but it was better than him not talking at all. 

"That other guy. Felix is his name." 

"Didn't he want to beat us up too?" 

"Yeah... but once Daniel pulled a knife he realized something was wrong there... so he ended up helping me out." 

"Wow..." Sean said, looking into the distance. "I'm glad that you're alright." 

"Yeah..." I replied. "I'm glad you are too. The last thing I wanted was for you to be hurt again." 

"It's okay Mark... It wouldn't matter if they hurt me. It really wouldn't. I'm used to it by now." He looked down at the ground. His words were barely a whisper, and I felt the growing urge to hug him. 

I walked towards him. "You shouldn't be." 

He looked up at me as inched closer and closer to him. "I just don't get it... Why are you friends with me? Why do you care about me? You're better than me." 

"Don't you see, Sean? We're the same person. I'm no better than you, really. I'm just hidden in the shadows because I'm too weak to show who I really am to people. You're strong. You're yourself, and yeah people may hate you for it, but at least you're not hiding anything from anyone. You're strong, trust me you are. The only one that feels to see that is you." 

There were a few seconds of silence between us, but it felt like forever.  

He looked up at me and then looked back down, before mumbling "Thanks Mark." 

"No need to thank me. Now, let's go home, shall we?" I wanted to tell him that I liked him. I really did. I felt like it would be a good time. I wanted him to know that I cared for him beyond our friendship, even if he didn't feel the same way about me. 

You're probably wondering why I didn't. 

That's the same exact question I asked myself as we walked over to his house, in silence.


	21. 20.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the long wait!! I actually have up to chapter 23 written, and will be publishing them immediately after this!

Sean's POV 

Something was off about Mark. 

I couldn't help but notice this as we walked home. There was something odd in the air between us, and I didn't know quite what it was, but I wanted to. 

"You okay?" I ask him as I unlock the front door to my house, letting us both in. 

He blushes, his cheeks turning a deep crimson. "Oh! Me? I'm fine." He chuckles nervously, almost as if he was hiding something. I wondered what was going on. Maybe something else happened with that physco, more than he was letting on. Whatever it was, I wanted to know. 

"Whatever you say." I shrug. It would be best to give him time before he takes about whatever it was that was bothering him. Because I knew there was something. 

We went up to my room as usual, saying hi to my mom as we passed. 

"What do you want to do?" I asked him, moving over to my bed and sitting down. 

"Eh... Let's just talk for a bit." He was still blushing as he took a seat at the end of the bed, not looking at me. 

"Sounds good to me. Are you sure you're alright?" I decided to ask again. Something was definitely up with him. 

"I'm.. I'm fine. Kinda. I just have something on my mind." 

"Wanna talk about it?" 

He looks up back at me and then moves from the end of my bed to right beside me. He looked at me once more before turning away. "I don't know if I'll be comfortable with talking about it. It's uh... it's kinda... it's about you."  

"Wait what?" I ask. What could about me could be worrying him so much? 

"Yeah... I don't know how you'll take it though." I had no clue what he meant, but now I was even more curious than before. 

"Tell me!" I say playfully, laughing. 

He chuckled nervously. "I just don't want to ruin our friendship." He said, shrugging. 

I should've known right then what he meant, but of course, being the idiot I was, I didn't get it. "What do you mean?" 

"I um... I don't know how to word this..." 

"Just tell me!" I urged, growing more and more inpatient by the second. 

"I like you." 

"Wait what?" 

"You heard me." 

"You mean... More than friends?" 

"What else would I mean?" 

I sat in shock for a few seconds. I was even more shocked then when he told me about his sexuality. What? Since when? Most of all, why? He was joking right? 

"You're... you're lying." I said, looking down. He wasn't being serious. Who could ever like me? 

"Why would I lie? I care about you beyond our friendship... I know you probably don't feel the same way but..." 

"Mark." He was right, I didn't feel the same way, but I just didn't know how to say it. Actually, I didn't know what I felt at all. I didn't know if I liked him like that, or just as a friend. I was confused. This came out of nowhere, and I didn't know what to think. 

"W... What?" I see the disappointment in his eyes. 

I didn't answer, I just looked away from him. He knew what I was going to say. 

"You don't feel the same way do you? It's fine, I should've known. Sorry I said it." He looked down. 

"Mark... I just... I'm not saying that. I just... I can't believe that you like me. Why?" 

"I think you know why. We're just the same person... And I just feel a connection with you that I've never felt with anyone else..." He trails off. I don't answer him. I don't know what to say. 

"Sorry." He mumbles, getting up and walking out of the room. 

I wanted to pull him back. I didn't want him to leave. 

I wanted to call call out to him, but my words were caught in my throats I didn't know what to do. I didn't know what to say. Was it stupid? Yes. It was. 

I just simply watched as he left, not uttering a single syllable.


	22. 21.

Mark's POV

I'm an idiot. 

Of course, I've always known this. But what I just did really confirms it. 

Did I really think he was going to feel the same way? I was stupid for believing that at all, and I did. 

I wanted to cry. I wanted to punch something. I had so many emotions rushing through me at once, I didn't know what to do. 

That's why I left Sean's house. I would burst into tears if I was there any longer, if I'm being completely honest. 

I couldn't believe that I had let myself slip like that. 

Oh yeah. 

I thought it would be a "good time" to tell him. 

Well that backfired Mark, nice job. 

I probably screwed up our friendship up now too. My only friendship in years. 

You just couldn't keep your mouth shut could you? 

I just ruined everything, all because of my feelings. I could've just kept my mouth shut. Sean was already going through enough in his life, and it was obvious that he didn't want anyone to have feelings for him, especially his best friend. 

This was bad. This was really bad. I didn't know where to go. I didn't know what to do. I guess I would just have to go home and tell my mom that my "friends" had a lot of homework and couldn't hang out today or something. 

As I was walking home, I feel tears form in my eyes and then they began to pour out, leaving salty trails down my cheeks. 

I couldn't help it. I fucked up. I fucked up big time. I wish I didn't have to say it to him. I wanted to go back there and apologize or something, but it would do no good now. The damage was already done, I had already opened my big mouth. 

Soon as I stepped inside my house, my mom knew something was up. 

"What's wrong? Did something happen?" She asked, raising a brow. 

Shit. I needed an excuse. "I... I failed a test today." 

"Oh really? And that's why you're crying? Since when did you care that much?" 

She knew I was lying. I should've come up with something better. "Since today." I said, breaking down and sobbing. She didn't understand. She couldn't, or else there would be a huge problem. 

"Mhm. Tell me the truth, Mark. You barely even hung out with your friends like you usually do. So tell me. What's wrong?" 

"Well, this guy I like..." 

My mom's eyes widened. Only then did I realize what I had just said. 

"Girl. I meant girl. Sorry I'm just so worked up right now." I quickly corrected. I couldn't let it slip that I was gay now, too. Maybe I should just stop talking today. My mouth can get me in a lot of trouble. 

"Mark, you scared me for a second there. You better not like any guys." She answered, chuckling. 

I chuckled as well, hoping I didn't sound as nervous as I was. 

"Ah, mom. You're funny." I said, not meeting her eye. "It's just there was this girl that I liked and she kinda rejected me, and it hurt." 

My mom waits a few seconds before answering. "Is that who you've been sneaking off to see? Is that who you 'hang' out with after school?!" She exclaims. 

"Mom no." I say, rolling my eyes. I probably should have went along with it, now that I think about it. 

"Well then why didn't you hang out with your friends?" 

"Mom, do you not realize? I got rejected! I'm hurt! I didn't want to hang out with them! And you don't even care!" I pretended to throw a fit, but I could tell she wasn't buying it. 

I turned around and stormed upstairs, not wanting to have to say anymore, and before I started crying again or something. 

"There's definitely something he's not telling me." I heard my mom mumble to herself, just as I slammed my door shut.  

XX 

Something was different about today. 

I woke up knowing it. 

I knew something was going to happen. And I knew it was going to be big. 

I don't know why I felt like this, but I did. It was just a gut feeling, you know? 

And I was right. There were a few things that happened. 

First, Felix talked to me again. As I was walking to class, he called out to me. 

"Guess what?" He asked. He was smiling, so I was guessing it was a good thing. 

"What?" I asked. 

"Daniel is down in the office right now. I snitched on him, and said that he had a knife. It probably wasn't the best thing to do but I did it. I just didn't want him to bother anyone anymore." 

"Good. It wasn't the wrong thing to do. It's about time he gets in trouble for the shit he's done." 

"Yeah. But..." He looked down, "What if he tries to say something about us though? Remember what he said about us hitting him? He's probably gonna bring that up." 

I hadn't thought of that. But how much trouble could we get in, anyway? "But he had a knife. What we did was in self defense. And if they call us down, that's what we're gonna say." 

"Okay." Felix looks down, taking a deep breath. "Okay." 

"We'll be fine." I assured him, even though I was sort of freaking out myself. The whole thing with Daniel was one of the biggest things that had ever happened to me, and I was still a bit shaken up, if I was being honest. 

I couldn't help but think about how he could have actually stabbed me and possible even killed me. I was also scared that he was going to get his revenge on me. Felix probably felt the same way, judging from how afraid he looked. 

"Listen... I'm sorry." He said, looking down. I was slightly confused. What did he have to be sorry about? 

"For?" I asked. 

"Erm... doing what I did in the past. I always helped Daniel out, you know? And I... I was one of the people that helped to beat your friend up with the baseball bats. I didn't want to do it, really I didn't. But Daniel told me that if I didn't... he would beat me up too. I don't know why I was scared. But I was. And I'm sorry." 

At first, I wanted to punch him in the face. It hadn't occurred to me that he could've been one of those guys that helped beat Sean up, and now that I knew he was, it made me angry. But there was nothing I could do about it now, he apologized. "It's alright. I'm glad you realized what a prick Daniel was though." 

He looked up at me, smiling. I could tell he was grateful that I forgave him, but also surprised. "Yeah...well I'm gonna head to class now." Felix gave me a wave as he walked off. 

XX

Of course, Felix talking to me wasn't the only or biggest thing that happened. 

The biggest thing happened after school. 

As I was leaving, I heard a voice call out to me. I thought I was hearing things at first, really I was. 

But it was Sean. 

I turned around, thinking that I was going to see nobody there. But sure enough, there he was. 

Was he angry? Did he want to tell me off? Guess I was going to have to go see. 

I approached him, slowly but surely.

"Why have you been avoiding me all day?" He asked me, his eyes boring into me. I didn't know how to answer. 

"I um... I wasn't." I tried, but he knew that I was lying. 

"You didn't talk to me first period. You didn't talk to me all day. I called out to you in the hall a few times, but you didn't respond!" He snapped, and I could tell that he was hurt by me doing so. And I didn't blame him, not one bit. I also felt really bad for doing so. It's just hard when you think your best friend(and also the boy you like) hates you and your guts. But apparently he didn't, and I had to get over it already. 

"I'm... I'm sorry. Do you... do you hate me?" I stuttered. I had to stop acting so nervous. I just didn't want him to hate me. It's the last thing I need. 

Well Mark... you fucked up... you kinda deserve it. 

"No. Why would I hate you?" He asked, raising a brow. 

I felt a sigh of relief escape my lips. "You know exactly why. You know what I told you yesterday. And I know you're angry about it. And I understand. And I'm really sorry that I-" 

"Mark." Sean stops me mid sentence. "Listen, let's leave school and go to the park to talk about this more. I don't wanna discuss this here." 

I nod my head. He's right. I can't break down about this in the middle of the hallway. 

We exited the building and walked to the park. The tension was real between us, and it was so thick that I felt like I could cut it with a knife. 

When we got to the park, we sat under a tree, namely the same tree we were under when Daniel and his friends had attacked Sean. 

"So." He said, looking down at the ground. "You know I'm not angry at you, right?" 

"You're lying." He had to be. How couldn't he be pissed? 

"Why would I lie? If I was mad, would I have talked to you today? Would I be doing it now? If anything I think you're the mad one." 

"I'm... I'm not. I'm sorry if it seemed like it today. I'm not angry at you, how could I be? I just thought that you surely were..." 

"If I was, would I do this?" He said as he leaned in and kissed me, in the middle of the park.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THAT WAS SO BAD BYE


	23. 22.

Sean's POV 

I pulled away quickly, not knowing exactly why I had just done that. 

I had just kissed him. Did I think I was slick? It was only a few seconds long and I don't even know if he fully registered what was going on, but it was still something I shouldn't have done. 

We were in the middle of a park. What if someone had gotten a picture of us or something? I did a quick scan of my environment, and luckily nobody was paying attention. I was hoping that nobody had seen us. 

"I'm... I'm sorry." I mumbled, feeling a crimson blush sneak it's way onto my cheeks. 

His face was one of pure shock. He was staring at me as if I had two heads, and I didn't blame him. 

You messed up. 

"I um... I... I gotta go!" He announced, getting up. He began to sprint away from the tree, and I watched as he did so, sitting completely still until he was out of view. 

Once he was completely out of sight, I let out a loud sigh. 

You messed up. 

XX 

I stayed at the park for another half hour or so, doing completely nothing. I just sat there, still under the tree, completely dissolved on my own thoughts. 

I had no clue what I had just done. I don't know what came over me, but something sure as hell did. 

I hope I didn't screw things up. The fact that he liked me had made things much more tense between us lately, I could only imagine that me kissing him would make things even more awkward and tense. 

It's crazy how our emotions and hormones work huh? They make us do things that we never intended to do. 

What was even worse though, was that the kiss had made me even more confused. 

Before, I said I didn't have any feelings for Mark whatsoever. But now I was just confused. I was conflicted. Why did I do that? Was that me or my hormones that did it? 

Or did I like him? Did I actually feel the same way that he did for me? I mean, he's one of the best people I have in my life. Did I think of him as an extremely close friend, or more? 

I kissed him... I had to like him right? But if I did... I wouldn't be questioning myself like this... would I? 

I watched as people walked by. I had to get my mind off this. I didn't like him. Or maybe I did. I didn't know. But somehow, my thoughts would always drift to it. I had to make a choice. I couldn't just sit here all day and wonder whether I liked him or not. 

All I knew was that I was beyond confused. 

XX 

"What are you doing home so late?" My mom asked me. She knew something was up. 

It was late. By the time I actually got myself up and walked home, it was dark. I didn't know what time it was, but it was surely late. 

"Oh, ya know. Just hanging out with Mark at the park." I responded. 

"What were you doing in the dark?" She asked, raising an eyebrow. 

"Like I said, we were just hanging out. And we just kinda got lost in time." Oh and I kinda kissed him. 

She smiled. "That's fine. Just tell me next time." 

"Will do, mom." I say, going into my room and shutting the door. 

XX 

I stayed up half the night thinking about all of this. About what I felt. About him. It was pathetic. I know. 

After who knows how long, I picked my head up and pulled out my phone, looking at the time. It was 3:30 AM. 

I wasn't sure if it was the fact that it was almost 4 AM and I didn't know what the hell I was doing, but I texted Mark. 

It was a simple sentence, but I knew it wouldn't end well. 

Hey, can we talk?


	24. 23.

Mark's POV

After he kissed me, I didn't know what the hell to think. It was only a few seconds long, and I was in shock for about 30 seconds after it had happened. I barely knew what it had felt like because it was so short and my body didn't have time to register what was happening, but I was still in shock. It wasn't that I was disgusted by it or anything, it's something I wanted of course, I was just shocked that he was the one that had made the first move. 

I was staring at him, and I could tell that he didn't know what I felt about it. Which I didn't. I had no clue how to feel. Why would he kiss me? I thought he had no feelings for me? 

"I'm sorry." He mumbled, looking away from me and blushing. 

There was so much tension in the air, so much that you could cut it with a knife. I had no clue what to do about it, so I said "I um... I... I gotta go!" and got up and ran. 

Me running from my problems yet again. What else was new? 

XX 

He kissed me. 

He kissed me. 

HE KISSED ME. 

Those were the only thoughts running through my head as I ran home, and as I ran up to my room. I sat on my bed, trying to relive the moment, but it wasn't working. I wish it had lasted longer... 

I couldn't help but think, did he actually mean it? Or was it just "heat of the moment" type of thing? Did he realize he was doing it? Was he thinking about it as much as I was right now? 

I lay on my bed, letting out a loud sigh. He probably wasn't. He probably didn't even mean to do it. I had to know. 

I wondered if he wanted to talk to me. I needed answers. I needed to clarify what was happening, and why the hell he would do that. 

I picked up my phone and unlocked it, taking a deep breath. It took all of my courage to type in his number. 

I had a text all ready to send, but you can probably guess what I did. I deleted it and didn't end up sending it, and put my phone back by my bedside. He probably wouldn't want to talk to me anyway. 

I decided to turn in early, forgetting completely about my homework. I didn't care about it that much at this point anyway, because I had more on my mind. 

At some point of the night, my phone beeped. It never did that, because Sean was the only person that ever texted me, and it certainly wasn't him. It was probably just some text about my data plan or something like that. 

I tried to shut my eyes again, but curiosity got the better of me and I picked up my phone. It was 3:30 AM. 

I was shocked when I saw what it actually was. It was no text about my data plan. It was a text from Sean. 

Hey, can we talk? 

It was almost 4 AM, what was going on? Was this a dream? Did he actually wanna talk to me? 

Obviously Mark. Why the hell else would he text you? 

I texted him back "yes, call me" and about 45 seconds later, my phone rang. 

"Hello." I said in a whisper when I answered. I had to be quiet. I didn't want to wake up my family. 

"Hi. So look. I think you knew this was coming." He said. He sounded nervous, just like I did. 

"I actually didn't." 

"Yeah. Sure. Look I'm sorry for doing what I did. I didn't mean it." 

I didn't mean it. Those words hurt way more than they should've. "Oh." Was all I could manage. Pathetic as this may sound, I was trying to hold back tears. 

"Are you... angry?" He asked, and I honestly didn't know how to answer. I was feeling so many emotions at the moment, I wasn't even sure which ones. 

"So you played me." 

"What? No! I didn't-" 

"Yeah you did. If you didn't mean it, you were playing me. You know I like you as more than friends, why would you do that? You're just with the fact that I like you and that I'm gay, huh?" My voice was getting a bit louder at this point. I didn't mean to say what I had said, but it had just come pouring out. 

"No. I would never play around with the fact that you're gay or that you like me. I'm gay too, do you really think I'd do that to you?" 

"I don't know. Like you said, you kissed me when you didn't even mean it. Tell me then, why did you?" 

"That's the thing, Mark. I don't know. I really don't know." 

I was getting annoyed. How did he not know? Most importantly, even if he didn't, why would he do that? "Look, if you don't like me like that just say it. No need to lead me on." 

"What don't you get? I'm not leading you on! I'm telling you that I don't know what I feel at the moment. Leading you on would be telling you that I liked you when I didn't. So no. I'm not leading you on. I'm sorry about kissing you. I didn't mean for it to cause this many problems, if I'm being honest. It was just the moment and I didn't know what to do." 

"Look Sean. It's fine. I understand if you don't feel that way about me, and I can't make you. I'm sorry for snapping at you like that. I didn't mean that." 

"It's fine, Mark. Don't be sorry. It's okay, I promise you." 

"You sure?" 

"Positive." 

"Okay. Well I'm gonna go back to sleep now. See you in a few hours." I told him. 

"Okay, bye." 

I put my phone back where it was before and took a huge deep breath. I felt so shitty hearing him say that he didn't even mean it. It was what I was scared of this whole time, and it was true. 

Ah, well. Guess I could've suspected that he would never like me like that. The kiss was my only form of hope, and now that was gone too. Great. 

I put my head back onto my pillow. I know that I wasn't going to get anymore sleep, I was too caught up in thoughts about him. 

He doesn't like me. Out of respect of him, I should push the feelings aside. I shouldn't bring up anymore. I should force myself to love him as a friend, and nothing more. 

It would be hard, but I would have to try.


	25. 24.

A/N: the rest of these chapters will be in Mark's POV unless otherwise stated. 

Also, I think this story is officially dead :( We only got 8 reads and 2 votes last chapter. If you guys don't like the story anymore or anything like that, let me know why. And let me know any ideas of how to change it. I'm here to write things fun for not only me, but for you guys as well. So let me know if you guys have anything. Or you know, if I just take too long to update. 

XX 

Mark's POV

My favorite part of the day lately has been the first few seconds after I wake up. Those few seconds are the best thing because for that little bit of time your memory is fuzzy. For those few seconds, you can pretend your life is okay. You're not faced with your problems just yet. 

For those few seconds, I can pretend that Sean liked me. I could pretend he felt the same way about me as I did him. I can pretend that he meant the kiss. 

But then, everything comes back to me and I realize it's all just in my head. He didn't mean it. He really doesn't feel that way about me. It sucks, but it's reality. It's real. It's what true. 

I turn my phone on like I always do in the morning to check the time, and I'm shocked when I see a huge paragraph for me. 

Hey, Mark. I know you probably think I'm leading you on or something with this, but here's the thing. I know I kinda went off yesterday and I really confused you. Like I said, I don't know what I'm feeling. I just need time to think, okay? Again, I'm so so sorry. I get you're angry, even if you say you aren't. But I just need time. That's it. When I know, I'll tell you, okay? But for now, let's just go back to normal. 

I don't know what I was expecting, but the message broke my heart in some ways. I was sort of expecting a confession of some sort, a "guess what? I do like you." What an idiot I am. Well, at least it wasn't rejection. It was better than nothing. 

Maybe it was rejection, but in a nice way... 

I shook the thoughts from my head and carried on with my morning as if nothing had happened. He said he'd think. That was the best I was going to get. And I wasn't going to rush anything. 

I went to school as usual, and as always, it was not a normal day. 

I was just doing my first period work as I was supposed to, when the classroom phone rang. I wasn't talking much to Sean of course, even though we both agreed that things were okay between us, everything was still awkward. Hopefully it would fix itself soon. 

The teacher talked for a few seconds, and then put the phone back onto the hook. He turned to face me. 

"Mark. They want you down in the office." He told me. 

What the hell... 

"Oh... okay. Did they say why?" I asked, slightly confused. What could they want from me? 

I get up to go, by my teacher stops me. 

"You need a hall pass. Wait." 

He writes me my stupid pass, and I walk down to the office without thinking. I walk inside, and immediately upon entering I see Felix sitting on one of the chairs right by the Reception desk. Then it comes to me. 

I sit next to him. "You're here... For what?" 

He shakes his head. " I don't know... they literally called me down just now. Now that you're here too... I think I know exactly what they want." 

"Yeah. Me too." Then, at the same time, we both said the exact same name. 

"Daniel." 

"Shit, shit, shit." I mumbled. 

The counselor pokes his head out of his office. "You boys are here, good. Come on in." 

We both look at each other for a brief second before getting up and walking into the office. 

The office is a tight space. A desk with a computer and a few knick knacks and a few family photos. A table filled with stacks of fliers. 3 chairs. Those are the only things in the room. Felix and I take seats in the chairs, and we're both nervous. How bad will our punishment for this be? 

"So... you boys are aware of why you are here, right?" He asks us. We both choke up, and silence fills the room for about 30 seconds until he asks "Anyone?" 

Stupid as I am, I decide to speak up. And that wasn't even the worst part. The worst part was what I said. 

"I don't. Why are we here?" 

He looks at me like I'm a moron(which I am) and shakes his head. "You're here because a fellow student told us about a physical altercation that you got into with him. I heard there was a weapon pulled?" 

Felix speaks up next. And unlike me, he says something smart. "Yeah... there was. But it wasn't from us. He pulled it on us and threatened us... and we only fought him because of that. We just wanted to defend ourselves. Is that so bad?" 

The counselor takes about 30 seconds to answer, considering what we said. "Well from the other student we got a totally different story. He said that he indeed pulled the knife, but you-" he looks at me "-took it from him and tried to stab him with it."

That wasn't true! I did take the knife, but I didn't try to stab him with it! Why would Daniel make up lies? "That's not true." I said, but I could tell he wouldn't believe me. 

He let out a deep sigh. "Answer this. Did you take the knife from him." 

"I... I did. But not to hurt him. I was just trying to protect my friend. I wasn't going to hurt him." 

"Would you have if he tried to come at you or something?" 

I didn't answer for a few seconds, and then Felix swooped in and saved my life. "That's not relevant, sir. I saw what happened. Daniel pulled the knife on me, and Mark came in and took it from him so he didn't hurt me. That was it." 

I gave Felix a smile and mouthed "thank you." This was foreign to me, having someone stick up for me like that. I did really appreciate him as a person. I guess he did sort of owe me for saving him from the knife, but he didn't have to say that. Well, at least it's good having someone that is more smart than me. 

"Okay, okay. So what happened with the knife? Because he said that he didn't have it, and that you guys might." 

Wow. Daniel sure was a good liar. He was there, and he saw what had happened. He was just trying to get us into more trouble. 

I looked over towards Felix, giving him a look. Luckily, he knew what it meant and he spoke up. 

"Mark had it. He didn't know what to do, I could see it. Then, Daniel hit him and knocked it out of his hand. Nobody used to after that, because I kicked it away out of sight." 

The counselor gave him a nod. "Anything else to add?" He asks us. We remain silent, because really, there is nothing more. 

"Okay. You both are free to go." 

With that, we nearly run out of the office. 

"Thanks." I tell Felix. 

"For?" He asks, looking confused as all hell. 

"You know, actually knowing what to say? I'm such a moron and bad with words, and you saved my ass quite a few times." 

"Oh yeah, it's not a problem." He smiles and we go our separate ways. 

XX

The rest of the day progresses as normal. The teachers droning on and on about whatever the day's lesson is. People also were asking me about the situation in the office, but I don't peep a word to them because it's not really their business anyway. So yeah, other than that, it's the usual stuff. 

You know, until the end of the day. 

I'm walking out of the building when I hear Sean call out my name. 

I turn around. "Yeah?" I ask him. 

"You know how I said that I needed time to think about the whole thing?" He looks down. "Well I thought about it." 

I raise an eyebrow. "Yeah? And?" 

And then he does the most surprising thing and I don't know how the hell to react: he leans into me and pressed his lips against mine, right in the middle of the school. 

XX 

A/N: you know Jack stop kissing Mark in places where people can see!!! First the park and now in school, smh smh. 

Anyway, how is Mark gonna react? What do you think this means? 

Thanks for reading, love you all!


	26. 25.

A/N: I just want to say I'm soooo sorry for the first version of this chapter and the confusion, I feel so stupid now. But hey at least I learned that I should read over my work again before I write after a long hiatus, and I shall do that from now on. Again, I apologize for any and all confusion, and let's just forget about that chapter and anything that happened in it, because this is the real version. 

Enjoy! 

XX 

It just kept getting worse and worse, didn't it? Each time he kissed me, it became more and more public, first in the park, and now here again, and it wasn't good. 

It wasn't the fact that we were just kissing in public, it was the fact that we were kissing in public surrounded by homophobes. 

A huge part of me wished that it wasn't something that I had to worry about, that we could just do whatever we wanted without being judged, but I knew in this place, in this world, we couldn't. 

And that was why I gave a bad reaction. 

"What are you-" I started, but Sean was already gone. He probably heard the fear in my voice and assumed that it was all his fault, when really it wasn't. But he was gone before I got to tell him that. 

I stood right there in the middle of the hallway dumbfounded for the longest time, until Felix approached me. 

"Bro, are you okay?" He asked, and I didn't know exactly how to answer, so I just gave a weak "Y...Yeah." 

"You sure?" 

"Yeah. I am." I was glad that he was concerned, but really, I wanted him to go. There was only one thing on my mind, and that was Sean. 

He knew that I had the same feelings for him that he had for me, so why was he playing this running game again? 

I had to go. Find him. Remind him that it was fine. That I didn't care. And that nobody saw us. 

So I did just that. I ran. I looked in places where I suspected he'd be. The park. He wasn't there, which was sort of surprising. I checked behind every tree and everything. 

I searched around the town, even checking places where I know he wouldn't be. 

Then it came to me. His house. 

I had spent twenty minutes running around, looking everywhere, thinking that he would be in a place that I wouldn't expect it, when really he was in the place that I should have looked in first. 

I ran quickly to his house, so quickly that I was out of breath when I rang his doorbell. 

"Are you alright?" His mom asked, raising a brow. 

"Yeah, I'm just out of shape, you know?" She chuckled, and I gave her a weak smile. 

"Lemme guess, you're here to see Sean?" 

"Yeah. I am." 

"He's kind of in a bad mood and won't really talk to me, I was hoping you'd come by and make him feel better." 

Me? Make him feel better? I'm the reason why he's that way.

That's what almost came out of my mouth, but I stopped myself before it could and pushed past Sean's mother and went to Sean's room. 

I knocked on the door and got no response. I wasn't expecting one. 

I opened the door slowly. I knew it was rude to just barge in there like that, but what could I do? He wasn't going to open it for me. 

He was sitting on his bed, staring out into space. Soon as I walked in, though, his head turned slowly towards the doorway where I was standing. 

His eyes immediately widened. 

"M... Mark? What are you doing here?" He asked. His voice was shaky. "Oh.... you probably here to say you don't want to talk to me anymore, and that's fine I can..." 

"Sean." I take a step into the room. "That's not what this is about." 

"Then why are you here?" 

"I want to talk to you. I really need to talk to you." 

He moved over on his bed, and I took it as an incentive and sat beside him. 

"What? Talk about... what?" His voice was getting even more shaky by the second. 

"You know I'm not angry or anything, right? I've already told you before. I like you. As more than a friend. So that's not what I'm here about. You know this." 

He looked at me for a few seconds before answering. "I do. And I know you're not mad at me. But Mark... there's another reason why I feel like I shouldn't have done that, any of the times that I have." 

"What do you mean?" I asked, raising a brow. 

"I mean that... I can't do this to you, Mark. I know you like me just like I like you, but I also know that it won't end well for either of us. And by 'it', I mean a relationship. A relationship wouldn't end well. And since I care about you so much... so much you don't even know, I can't do that to you. I can't drag you into my life style. You see how I get mocked and ridiculed. I can't let that keep happening to you. I can't ruin your life. It's selfish." 

His words put me in shock for a few seconds, so much so that I just stared at him. I didn't even know what to say. "Sean. You and I, we can't change who we are. I'm not going to hide it just because... just because I was selfish and didn't want to be mocked and made fun of." 

"It's not selfish to not want to come out. It's terrifying. I wish I could go back and undo it. I just though people would accept me. I was too innocent to see all of the bigotry and hate in this world, our town especially. Why hate gay people? It's just someone who's in love with someone else, who just happens to be the same sex. Are we killing people? No. Are most marriages and stuff straight? Yes, but it doesn't mean there aren't gay people, bi people, pan people, asexual people, demisexual people, hell, there are so many different people in the world I don't get how you can ever be hateful. Nobody is the same. Nobody. Being scared of being different is fine Mark, and you have ever right to be afraid of being out. It doesn't make you selfish. It doesn't mean you're hurting me. What's selfish is me trying to force myself onto you, even if you do feel the same. And for that, I'm sorry Mark. I'm so sorry." 

I was even more in shock at this point. "S... Sean. Don't be sorry." I put my hand on top of his knee, hoping he would understand the fact that I was there for him. "Don't be sorry for any of that. Don't be sorry for being yourself, don't you dare be sorry for kissing me. Did you hear what you said? You said that people shouldn't hate who they are, that the only reason we're closeted is because of fear of the world. Who we are is who we are, and we can't change that. We just can't. And one day, we'll be able to work this out. Or maybe we won't. But either way, we're going to end up in gay relationships. Whether it be with each other, or with other guys, we will be. And we'll get hated. But we'll be in love, and love overcomes hate." 

I couldn't believe that I had just said all of that. If I was being honest, if it wasn't for Sean, I probably wouldn't have. He was so inspiring to me. He was strong. And I wanted him to know that, more that anything. 

He put his hand on top of mine. "I want it to work out... between you and me of course. I just... I just didn't want to do anything if you aren't ready. And you can say you are now, but you might regret it in the future. Just go home... go home and think about it, okay? Think about if you want to be with me. Because I want to be with you." 

"Sean, I..." 

"No. Go home, and think. I don't want to ruin your life like I've ruined mine." 

"I don't think you heard what I said. You know damn well that..." 

"Yeah. But I just don't want you to regret it. I don't want to force you out, okay. I just don't want you to get hurt." 

He moves his hand, and I decided that it was time to go, even if I wanted to stay and tell him that I was 100% sure. It wasn't the time. 

"You're strong. Really strong." I reminded him, and then I left his room, then his house, and made my way home. 

XX 

A/N: WOO this took forever I'm so sorry. 

But what do you all think? The scenes from the first chapter will be coming up very soon, and as you can see major developments are already happening. But what's gonna happen leading up to that? Hmmmm

Anyway, summer is coming up( classes get out this week), so I will be going back to writing and updating as much as I can. I've been writing this story for over a year, can you believe it? 

Anyways, thanks so much for reading, I love each and every one of you beautiful and strong people ! <3


	27. 26. (!)

A/N: (!)= mature content. mentions of cutting and upsetting thoughts. 

we're going back to switching POVs again!!! And guess what guys? there are only a few chapters left of this story :( I can't believe how far we've come !! 

XX 

Sean's POV 

Things have been really tense between me and my mom lately. 

She still made me food, let Mark come over, kissed me goodbye, all of those things, there was just something different in the air between us after she discovered that I cut. 

I haven't cut since that horrible day, I just couldn't bring myself to do it. I had thought about it, yes, but I never did. Every time the thought crossed my mind, it drifted off to my mom and how she felt once she knew what I did. 

I had to talk to her. I had to ease this tension. Obviously, she didn't want to. So I had to take charge. 

I was nervous, but I had to tell her. I had reach out if I wanted her to help me, and if I wanted someone to talk to(other than Mark of course, because sometimes it's hard to admit your downfalls to the person you like). 

After I had gotten home from school(which was uneventful, the usual work and stuff, and no, Mark didn't answer me yet about us being together), I made myself a snack, went up into my room and ate it and just relaxed for about a half hour, then I took a deep breath and approached my mom's room. 

I cracked the door open, and saw her sitting on her bed, watching TV. She turned towards the doorway when she heard it open. "Sean! How was your day?" She asked, smiling up at me. 

"It was good..." I said, and then walked towards her bed and sat next to her. I was nervous, even though she and I had been through worse conversations than this before. I mean, I had come out to her as gay before! This shouldn't be too bad, right? 

"What's wrong? Don't lie to me, I can tell." 

I look down before answering. "Mom... I just feel like you're mad at me." 

"Mad at you? For what?" Her eyes widen. 

"You know..." I couldn't speak for some reason, so I roll up my sleeves, revealing my cuts, which are starting to fade a bit. 

Her face falls, and she immediately reaches out to pull down my sleeve. "Sweetie... I could never be mad at you for that. The only reason I yelled at you like that was because I didn't feel like a good parent because you wouldn't tell me what was wrong. It wasn't your fault. Don't think that. I know it's hard to deal with things. And I don't know exactly how you feel, or exactly what you go through, but as your parent, I'm going to be here for you the whole entire way. Don't ever think I'm mad at you for being rightfully upset about something, okay?" Her voice is a bit shaky and tears are forming in her eyes, probably because she thinks I doubted her. I didn't mean it like that. 

"Mom... I know. I.. I love you mom." I say, and go in for a hug. She pulls me in, and grabs on tight. 

"You're my only son, and I'll always love you, no matter who you are. You're the best thing that's ever happened to me." 

XX 

I left her room, feeling relieved. That went way better than I had expected, and it was good to know that she wasn't angry at me, like I thought. 

Maybe there was a chance for me to become better. Maybe I could stop self harming forever. It was a long shot, but I would try it. I was going to do it to better myself. 

I was going to do it for my mom. 

XX 

The next morning at school, honor roll certificates were handed out for the quarter. 

Of course, I didn't make it. I hadn't been my best this quarter, but I was hoping to improve that as well. I couldn't let the people who tormented me ruin my life completely. I was starting to feel stronger. 

Even if I didn't make it, Mark did. He didn't just make regular honor roll, either. 

"You made Principal's list?" I asked, my eyes widening. It was the highest honor at our school in terms of grades, as to make it you have to have an A+ overall average. 

"Yeah. Maybe my parents will be happy with me this time. Last time, I only made high honor roll." He said, shrugging. I knew his parents were pretty strict about grades, and he always got good ones, but I didn't know they were that strict. 

"Well, congrats." I say, giving him a small smile and looking at our experiment for today. 

"Hey, by the way Sean." He says, and I turn to him quickly. 

"Yeah?" I ask. 

He lowers his voice. "I'm sorry for not giving you an answer before. I thought about it, and my answer is yes." He smiled at me, big and bright. 

I feel myself blush. "D... does this mean... we're a..." I was going to say the word couple, but then I realized where I was. 

He catches my drift, luckily. He smiled at me again and I feel my heart begin to flutter. "Yes." He answers, and this time, I'm the one smiling. 

Me and him, it was finally happening. It really was. 

XX 

A/N: this was short but I'm already working on the next chapter, so expect it very soon! 

And wow, only 26 chapters later, it's finally happening! Come on, it wasn't that long of a wait, especially since they had moments in between! 

But will it remain like this? Or will something bad happen. you guys already know the answer to that, so let me ask another question; how long will happiness between these two last? 

Catch you all in the next chapter, thanks for reading! Love you all!


	28. 27.

A/N: this chapter takes place BEFORE last chapter, explaining why Sean didn't get an answer at first, etc etc. Just thought I'd say that to avoid any confusion! 

I thought and thought about it, me and Sean, and my mind didn't change. I had the same thing running through my head. 

I wanted it. I wanted him. I didn't care about anything else, or anyone that might be in our way. 

If I was being honest, I think most people at our school were suspecting that I wasn't exactly straight, I'm sure some of them already made the assumption that I was gay. 

Which was scary to think about, considering I had gone a long time hiding my sexuality, and everyone had always believed me. Now, that was starting to turn around. And that wasn't exactly a good thing, not in this town. 

I was ready to tell him that I wanted to be together. 

So tell me, why did I chicken out at first? 

The next day, I got ready, and my mind still hadn't changed in the least. I was ready to tell him. 

I walked into class as usual and sat next to him. Our lab today looked pretty boring, as there was no equipment or anything of the sort on our table. 

He turned to me. "So.." He started, but didn't continue. I knew what he was hinting at, he was hinting at the relationship question. 

And this is where it went downhill. 

I clammed up, and I don't even know why. I didn't answer him. I don't know what came over me, but I was nervous. 

"Oh, you need more time. Okay." He said, turning away. He didn't look too hurt, after he did want me to think about it. 

I wanted to say something right then, tell him I didn't need more time. Tell him that I'm ready for anything with him. But I just couldn't. I mentally cursed at myself. Why couldn't I ever do anything right, especially when it counted? 

I knew how it must have felt for him, because I had felt the same way when he sent me that text telling me we should "go back to normal " awhile back, when we were first figuring out that we liked each other. 

I felt guilty the rest of the day, and couldn't really pay attention in any of my classes, which threw my teachers off a bit. A few of them asked if I was alright, to which I of course lied and told them yes. 

I saw Felix in the halls and waved to him, and then he pulled me aside. 

"What's up?" I asked, wondering why he would do that all of a sudden. 

"Daniel's coming back to school in a week. They're only giving him a week suspension!" He said, and I felt my eyes widen. The last thing I needed was him back in school. 

"Oh, great. You know what, once he comes back let's just ignore him and not fuel anything. It's what he wants." 

Felix nodded. "Yeah. I agree. I don't know why I was ever friends with him. But yeah. You're right." He sighed. "By the way, we need to talk more." He pulled out his phone and pointed it towards me. I look at it like an idiot. 

"Your number?" He asked, chuckling. "I mean, we're cool, right?" 

"Of course." I told him, and took the phone and put my number in. Then I gave him mine and he did the same. It felt weird, having yet another person who actually cared about me and wanted to talk to me. It was weird to think that just a little while ago, he was ready to beat me up. 

Then the bell rang, and we went our separate ways. 

XX 

At the end of the school day, I went home and simply laid in my bed and scrolled through the Internet on my phone, trying to find something to cheer me up. Of course, nothing did. 

I'm an idiot. I've realized this so many times, but will I ever stop doing stupid things? 

I was just scared. I liked him, he liked me, there was just a part of me deep down that was scared of the fact that after I told him, we'd be official. We'd be in a relationship. And it's not that I didn't want that, because I did, I was just... scared. 

I helplessly try and get my mind off things, but to no avail yet again. That's when an idea popped into my head. 

Felix. 

Now that I had someone else to talk to, maybe he'd be able to help me out. I opened my "messages" app and texted him. 

M: hey, you there? 

I waited a few seconds before he texted back. 

F: yeah, what's up bro? 

M: I just need some advice 

M: I don't know who else to come to

M: sorry if I'm bothering you 

F: no, you're not. it's fine. what do you need help with? 

M: love life issues. 

F: ? 

M: there's someone I like. and they like me. and they want to be, you know... a thing. and they told me to think about it the other day and tell them if I wanted that too. 

M: but here's the thing, today I went to tell them and I clammed up, not knowing why. I like them, and I want this, I just don't know what to do. 

F: oh. that's hard. if you don't mind me asking, who's the person? 

M: it's uh... it's a guy. you know sean right? 

I reread my message and nearly had a heart attack. Oh my god. Did I really just say that? Did I really just come out to him, without barely knowing him? Oh my god. I was probably going to lose the only other friend that I had because of this. 

F: oh. I see. what I would say is you both are into each other, then go for it. but if you don't feel you're ready, don't. I know it sounds cheesy as shit, but follow what you feel. 

M: wait 

M: you don't care? that I like a boy? 

F: honestly, does it really matter? It doesn't to me. I know everyone is this crap-ass town thinks there's a difference, but honestly, I never really cared as much. Daniel would always talk about gay people and how much he hated them and whatever, I never really let it show that I was okay with it to avoid starting shit with him, but really, it doesn't matter to me. 

I stare down at the message, shocked. He didn't care? I took a deep breath of relief. I felt a smile form across my face. 

M: thank you. it means a lot. 

F: no need to thank me. I'm sorry people are so small minded. now that I'm not in daniel's shadow anymore, I can admit all of that. be happy with who you want. 

M: I hope I can. 

F: you can. if you really want to, you can. if you don't feel 100% into it, then there's no point really in my opinion. 

I was into it. 100%. With this advice, I felt extremely relieved. I finally knew what I really wanted. 

M: thanks. for the advice. it means a lot. 

F: no problem. good luck. :) 

I smile and shut my phone off.

XX 

The next day was so much better. The teacher handed out the honor roll certificates, and I actually made it! 

Sean smiled awkwardly and started a conversation about it and complimented me, and I realized that now was the time. 

And then, I was finally able to tell him. 

XX 

A/N: kind of a boring filler chapter, but trust me, things will be escalating a bit soon. 

also, while I was writing this I was thinking of maybe writing a small spin off of this showing Felix's backstory and his friendship with Daniel and stuff ?? only if you guys would like that though! 

anyways, thanks for reading and I love you all!


	29. 28.

Sean's POV 

It was a great feeling, being in a relationship. It really was. Not that I had ever experienced it before, but now I've realized that I was missing out. 

There was so much we couldn't do, though. We didn't want it to be known that we were together, so we had restrictions. We avoided holding hands, displaying any sort of PDA, and even walking together all throughout the day. But once we were out of the public eye, things were truly great. 

I realized that the little things were the greatest. The sweet texts, the kisses on the cheek when nobody was looking, the hooking fingers together and walking wherever we couldn't see the any people so that we got the feeling of holding hands, all of that. 

This was amazing. I couldn't say it enough. 

Being home would be the best thing, too. We wouldn't go to his house, of course, but we would go to mine and we would have all of the privacy in the world. You know, minus my parents. But they didn't suspect a thing yet, and we were just allowed to go up to my room like usual. 

Since we were both weren't that experienced in this whole thing, it was a bit awkward at first. But we had to figure it all out, together. 

Today, we were sitting on my bed and watching movies on Netflix. I had my arm around Mark, and he was resting his head on my shoulder. 

"What should we watch?" I asked, looking him directly in the eyes. I scrolled through the page, barely even paying attention. I honestly didn't care what we watched, because I would be paying attention to him most of the time, trying to soak in that we were actually a thing now. 

Of course, I had heard the stories about high school relationships, that they were fairytales at first, but then quickly went to shit. I hoped that wouldn't happen to me and Mark, but I wouldn't think about it just yet. We literally just began. 

"Anything is fine with me. How about a horror movie?" He says, and I go to the horror section of the site. Most of the movies look absolutely terrifying, and I feel my eyes widen a bit. 

"Here." I say, handing him the remote. He clicks on a few titles, reading the descriptions and such. He lands on one and ends up clicking it. It already seems like it is going to be extremely scary and gory. 

Mark must've seen the look in my face, because he was laughing at me. "Not a horror fan?" He asks, chuckling again like it's some big joke. I couldn't help but laugh with him. 

"Eh." I say, and this makes him laugh again. 

"Well, I'm right here if you need me. You know how couples do it in those cheesy movies? One person is scared and uses the other one to hide when something scary comes on? You can always do that." 

I don't answer, I just feel myself blush and give him a smile. He was right, I probably would use him to hide when I was scared. 

We watch the movie, and it actually wasn't as bad as I thought. I did flinch a few times, and hid my head into Mark's shoulder, to which he just laughed at me again. 

Once the movie was over, he looked at his phone, seeing the time. 

"Shit. I should probably get going home." He says, and he hugs me super tight. I hug him back, but I was sort of hoping we would kiss instead. 

XX 

The day we do end up kissing for the first time was two days later. It's been almost 3 weeks since we've officially been "together". 

As Mark was about to leave, I looked him in the eyes and told him "I enjoyed this. I always do. I hope we never stop doing this." 

He simply replied, "I hope so too.", and before you know it, we were both leaning in, and our lips connected. It wasn't a long kiss or anything, but it was my first one, so it was special. 

We sat there, staring into each other's eyes, then he grabbed my hand and held it tight. He had a bright smile on his face, and I couldn't help but have one on my face as well. 

That's when I heard the sound of footsteps coming towards my room. Mark and I acted quick, moving away from each other and letting go of each others' hands. It was my mom, I knew it was. 

"Hey boys!" She said, opening the door. Mark and I both had red faces and were breathing a bit heavily. I hope she didn't suspect anything. 

"You were gettin' a bit quiet, so I figured I would check on you." She said, laughing. "But it seems that you guys are fine. Have fun!" She called, walking away. 

Mark and I looked at each other. 

"Thank god." We said at the same time. 

XX  

The next few days go pretty much the same. Mark and I hang out over my place, watch movies, cuddle, kiss here and there, and just talk. 

Mark lies to his mom and tells her that he's hanging out with friends, and she believes him, but he doesn't get to stay as long as I wished he could. 

"You know." I said one day, and Mark just simply stared at me. 

"What?" He asked. 

I had my head on his shoulder, so I moved so that I was sitting in front of him. "I've been thinking... are we ever gonna tell my mom? I mean, she did almost catch us the other day and she's probably a bit suspicious, I mean I am her son. And moms know everything. I don't know how but they do. So should we? I mean, she doesn't care at all that I'm gay, so I'm sure she won't care much about... us. I mean, we've pretty much been dating for about a month now, don't you think that's long enough?" 

"Yeah..." Mark said, looking down. 

"What's wrong?" I asked him. 

"N... nothing." 

"Do you not want to tell her?" 

"I mean... yeah... but I don't know..." He trails off, still looking down. 

"Why don't you know? Won't it feel much better?" 

"I mean maybe... but what if somehow word gets out?" He instantly regrets it, and looks away from me. 

"It won't. I swear it won't. But if you don't want to, I guess we can try our best to keep it a secret for now. If that's what you want." At this point, neither of us are looking at the other. This is an awkward conversation. 

"I don't want it to be secret, I wish it didn't have to be. But at this point, it isn't exactly safe for us to put this out there. I love you Sean... and I don't want to lose you..." His face goes beet red when he realizes what he just told me. I feel myself blush too. 

He just told me he loved me... "I... I love you too Mark." I tell him. 

"Yeah. Um. I have to go home. Bye." No hug. No kiss. 

I'm just left with me and my thoughts. 

XX 

A/N: ayy finally some fluff and cute stuff. I'm sorry if it seems a bit fast paced and the days go a little quickly, but that's only because I don't want to drag it out too much. There'll still be some more fluff and cute moments to come, though. 

I don't have much to say this time, but I hope you all enjoyed and thanks so much for reading!


	30. 29.

Mark's POV 

"Mark!" 

"Mark?" 

I slowly open up my eyes, trying to figure out where I am. I look up and see Sean, looking down at me. I was at his house. We were doing what we did everyday, watching movies and doing... couple stuff. You know what I mean by that, right? Right. I must've fallen asleep. 

"The movie was that boring?" He asked me, laughing. 

God, I love his laugh. 

I smiled at him. "Eh, it could've been better if I'm being honest." 

This time, it's more of a small chuckle than a laugh. "Maybe you should always pick. I always pick the bad movies." 

"No. You don't." I say, and I lean in for a kiss. 

He kisses me back, we pull away after a few seconds. "I do." He says, smiling. 

We sit in silence for a little while, scrolling through Netflix's selection, until I decide to open my mouth and ask him something. Something that's been bothering me for awhile. 

"Sean." I say, and he looks away from the screen and at me instead. 

"Yeah?" 

"I know you live with your mom but... what happened with your dad? Is he..." 

"Homophobic? No. He didn't care if I was gay or not. He just... I don't really know how to put it. He... didn't want my family anymore. I don't know why, he just... left us. I asked him a million times if it was the fact that I was gay and he told me a million times no, he just didn't love my mom and wasn't exactly ready for a family." 

My eyes widen. I grab his hand and intertwine our fingers. "Shit. I'm sorry. That's rough." 

He shakes his head. "It's fine. I don't really care anymore. Me and my mom, we've been fine. We don't need anyone else. My mom has done everything she can to support me, and for that I'm grateful. I hope one day I can be as strong as her." He looks down at the ground, I can tell he's a bit upset. God, he's so cute. 

I just let him have a moment, until he says "Speaking of her... I was thinking. And we should do it. We should come out to her. I mean, it's my mom. We can't just... hide forever. I understand if you're nervous, but I really think it would be best. She won't care, not at all." 

I won't lie, the thought of coming out for the first time ever(besides to Sean, of course), scared the hell out of me. But if he wanted to, then I would do it. He had every right to tell his mom about what was going on. 

"Okay, Sean." I said, squeezing his hand. I take a deep breath. It was scary. But we were going to do it. I don't know why exactly I was so scared, since his mom was so accepting, it was probably just the fact that I was a coward and afraid of who I was. But I shouldn't be. It was time to get over it, somewhat at least. This was a big step in accepting myself. 

"So... are we?" He asked, and I nodded. I didn't say anything, so he asked me something else.

"Wait... you want to do it right now?" 

"Yeah. Why not? If you feel like it's a good time, then we should." I say, smiling at him. 

We stop holding hands, and he motions for me to get up. I do, and I follow him as we walk to his mother's room. 

What's funny was that as many times as I had been here, I still hadn't seen so much of his house. I had no idea what any other rooms looked like, except for his room and the bathroom. 

He opens the door, and we step in. His mom's room is pretty big, with a huge bed and a pretty nice tv. His mother must've shared the room before his father left. She was sitting on the edge of the bed, watching TV. 

"Mom." He says, and she turns to face us. 

"Hey boys! What's up?" She asks, smiling at us. 

"There's something we want to talk about." Sean says, while I stand beside him silently, like the coward I am. 

"Oh. Both of you?" She asks. 

Sean nods. 

"Alright. What is it? What's wrong?" 

"Nothing's wrong Mom... It's not like that. It's just... Me and Mark..." 

"Mark and I." She corrects him. 

He rolls his eyes and chuckles. "Whatever. You know what I mean. Anyways, we're together. Like... We're a couple." 

I was shocked at how he blurted it out like that, without any hesitation. Damn. I could never do that, I was even unable to speak now. 

His mom chuckles. "Oh Sean honey, I already knew that." 

Me and Sean look to each other, shocked. 

"Y... You did?" Sean asked, blinking. 

"Oh, come on. Did you think you're discreet? He comes over here everyday, and you go upstairs and shut your door. I know you're not doing anything dirty but.." 

I feel my face go a deep red. 

"...I know there's something going on. I mean, I'm your mother. Did you think I wouldn't know?" She laughs out loud. 

That's when I let out a loud and deep breath that I didn't know I was holding in. All of my nervousness? Gone. I look over to Sean, who's laughing. 

"I should've figured, Mom. I should've figured." 

"You should've, ya moron. And if you though I was going to have a problem with it, are you insane? Hell, I'll help you plan your wedding." 

I feel myself blush again. A wedding? 

"Mom." Sean says, rolling his eyes. "You don't have to be like this." 

"Oh, but I do. I'm your mom. I'm here for anything and everything you ever need. I love you matter what, you already know." 

Sean approaches her, and she pulls him in for a hug. I just stood there, looking at them. His mother noticed, and motioned for me to come over. 

"Come over. Get in. You're family now. Hell, you always have been." 

"T...Thank you." I mumble as she pulls me in. After we pull away, she smiles at both of us. 

"I'm happy for you Sean. I'm happy for both of you." 

We both smile at her and decide it's time to leave the room. What we wanted to do was done. That was not what I was expecting. 

We all smile at each other one last time before me and Sean turn to leave. 

As we're walking away, I swear I could hear his mom mumble "Can't believe they thought they could hide from me." 

She wasn't lying I guess. 

XX 

A/N: I hope you all enjoyed!! Sorry this was a bit on the shorter side, I had fun writing it nonetheless! 

Thanks for reading, have a great day/night!


	31. 30. (!)

(!)= mature/triggering content. There are uses of homophobic slurs in this chapter, along with slight mentions of violence. 

XX

Even if I did know that my mom would never have a problem with me and Mark(or MARK AND I, as my mom would correct me), together, I still felt relief when we told her and I know I shouldn't have but it just felt like a weight was lifted off of my chest. 

I was happy with who I was and who I was with, so why not flaunt it? Well... I guess when you live in a homophobic neighborhood the opportunities to flaunt my relationship are limited, but my mom was a good start. Just hearing someone, no matter who it was, telling me they were happy, made me have hope. It made me think that one day, everyone will except me, and if they don't, that's their own sad problem. I think that I'm beginning to accept that I don't have to be ashamed of who I am. 

When Mark and I go back to the room, I tell him I need to go to the bathroom, so that's what I do. 

Once I'm in there, I roll my sleeves up yet again, just to see the progress of my scars. I haven't even thought of self harm ever since I told myself I would become better, and I was proud of myself. My scars were beginning to turn white. I had a feeling they wouldn't be gone for awhile, but at least they were starting to fade. 

When I got back to the room, Mark asked "What took so long? You were in there forever." He laughed. 

"Eh, it's nothing." I know it seems horrible that I haven't told him about my self harm, but what would be the point now? I'm trying to move past it. Maybe one day in the future I'll say something, but that day won't be today. I just don't know how to bring it up yet. 

"Whatever you say." He pulls out his phone and looks at the time. "I guess I should be heading home. Sadly." He says, frowning. 

I give him a kiss goodbye and walk him out the door. 

I watch as he leaves, really wishing that he could just stay here with me and not have to go back to his house for awhile. I wished that he could just live here with me and never have to leave. 

Little did I know, that wish would be coming true very soon.... 

XX 

The next day, Mark seemed way more happy than usual. He kept smiling and blushing whenever he looked my way, which caused me to do the same. 

I just wish I could've held his hand at school. 

A few minutes before the bell releasing us from Chemistry was going to ring, I wrote Mark and quick note and slid it over to him. I would've texted him, but the teacher would see us on our phones. 

Hey, how about after 4th period we ditch? I would say we could wait for lunch, but I don't want to be here anymore. 

Mark took a minute to read the note, his eyes widening a bit, quickly wrote something down, and passed the note back to me. 

Yeah. Where do you wanna meet? 

I told him to meet me by my locker. He probably never skipped school like this before, and I hoped I wasn't going to make him uncomfortable or anything. But hey, he said yes, so he was willing to. 

All of the classes before 5th period seemed to drag. 4th period especially. But as soon as the bell rang, I practically ran to my locker. 

I waited a few minutes for Mark. The thought of him ditching me and going to class crossed my mind, but he wouldn't do that to me. I checked my phone for any messages from him. Nothing. 

The bell was going to ring any second now, and after the bell rang sneaking out was even more risky. 

I opened my locker and pretended to be going through it. As I was going so, I felt a tap on my back. Mark. 

"Hey." He said. He didn't look the least bit amused. 

"Are you sure you want to do this?" 

"Yeah. I'm sure." He smiles. "I can always catch up on whatever I miss anyway." Of course he was worried about his work. I suppressed a chuckle. 

"Come on. Before we get caught." I motion for him to follow me, and he does so. 

It's been awhile since I had skipped, I usually did so on days when it was getting to be too much and I just needed air. 

But today, I was doing it to spend more time with Mark. My boyfriend. 

There was a door by the auditorium where there was no security. There were no cameras either. So basically, it was the best way out. Only catch was, security couldn't see you heading towards there, because there were no classrooms. 

I led Mark to the area, and we quickly slipped out. I was afraid that security would see us, but we were fast. At least I was. I had to literally pull Mark along with me.

"Where are we gonna go?" He asked. I thought about that for a minute. 

"We can just go on the side of the school building for a bit." I said, shrugging. The side was by a few doors, but people wouldn't be coming out anytime soon. Or so we thought. 

That was mistake number 1. 

Mistake number two occurred after we were just sitting on the side of building for a little while, maybe about 25 minutes or so. We were just talking like we always did, about our lives. 

"Do you ever think that I'm the future... we'll be able to live happily and hold hands wherever we want? Do you ever think that everyone will just look at us as people?" Mark asked out loud. 

"Maybe. I hope so." I answered back. "But even if nobody is happy with us, it's just the fact that we're here and better than them. Like you said before, it doesn't matter who you date. It shouldn't have to matter." I looked down, upset. Much as I liked to tell myself these things and pretend that I'm strong enough to overcome the homophobes, at the same time, it's exhausting. It makes me so sad. 

Mark put his hand under my chin, and raised my head up. That's when he leaned in, and went for a kiss. 

The kiss lasted for quite a few seconds, until we were both out of breath. He caught his breath for a few seconds again, and then it began to get a bit more heated. 

It turned into a full blown make out session, I guess you could say. For some reason, neither of us wanted to pull away. We were in the moment. We were so into the moment we almost forgot that we were still by the school. 

This was mistake number 2. 

We obviously weren't paying any attention to the time, so we didn't even realize that the first lunch period of the day was beginning. In fact, I didn't even think of it until I heard a voice near us. 

"Look!" Whoever it was shouted, causing me and Mark to break apart quickly. But it was too late. We had been caught. 

Mark's face was like one I had never seen before. He was scared. Really scared. I was too, honestly. A bunch of people were staring at us. Laughing. 

"The fags really snuck out of school to kiss huh?" Somebody said, laughing. 

"Don't they know how much trouble they can get into? Especially once administration knows they snuck out to kiss." 

Mark and I were frozen at this point. They kept throwing their insults at us. Everybody in this school knew how I was gay and hated me, sure. But they had no idea about Mark. I felt immediately guilty. 

We were surrounded by people now. Everybody had stopped to watch us get mocked and ridiculed. 

"What do you guys say? Should we snitch or beat some sense into them?" 

My heart began to beat. I turned to Mark. 

"Run. Come on." I said, and just as I thought I was going to get away, I was pulled back. I looked over, to see that someone had grabbed Mark as well. There was no way out of this. 

And I'm sure you know what happened next.


	32. 31.

(!)= mature content. Use of homophobic slurs and light mentions of violence and homophobia. 

Mark's POV 

I should've suspected that this would happen. I should've known that we were being dumb as shit by making out by the school. What were we thinking? 

I couldn't help kissing him, honestly. His lips, as well as everything about him, made me never want to stop. Much as I wanted to say no to even sneaking out with him, I just couldn't. 

The question I had to ask myself was would I rather be in class or be kissing him? If I had known that all of this would have went downhill, I definitely would have chose to stay in class and kiss him after school like we always did, with privacy. But here we were, in the open. We were caught. 

I clenched my fists in the grass below me, grabbing some of it as well as the dirt underneath. I was nervous. I mean, I was facedown on the ground ready to be beat up, what else was I supposed to be. 

There was no way out of this. I resisted the urge to cry. It wasn't even just the fact that we were about to get beat up. It was the mere fact that we had been caught, completely and totally caught. 

They began to hit and kick us both, and as they were doing so, my mind was racing. The pain of their beating was minuscule compared to my thoughts. 

Word was going to get around. Fast. People were going to hear that Sean and I were together. And then eventually it would get to... my parents. 

"Shit." I accidentally said out loud. 

"What did you say, faggot? Shut the fuck up. You know what, instead of speaking, why don't you eating the damn dirt instead?" 

I thought that the person wasn't serious and just saying that to make me be quiet, but he pushed my face directly into the ground. I couldn't breathe, and I couldn't see. 

The whole ordeal probably only lasted about 2 minutes, until staff was rushing outside. I could hear their muffled voices. 

"What's going on here?" Somebody asked, and the person who was grabbing me let me go. I immediately stuck my head up for air and looked over to Sean. He looked pretty bad, and I imagined I did too. 

I heard someone explain that they had caught Sean and I kissing, and that we tried to attack them first, that's why they were beating us up. 

Of course, the staff ate this fake ass story right up. Homophobic sons of bitches. Anyone else or any other circumstance, they wouldn't have believed it so quickly. 

"Now... you." The assistant principal said, pointing to Sean and I. "Come in here and explain your side, even though I don't think there will be much more to add." 

I huffed and got up, and Sean did the same. 

"Are you okay?" Sean asked me as we entered the school, and I gave him a nod. 

We followed him into the office and sat down. "Okay... now explain." He told us, and I spoke up first, surprisingly enough. 

"We never attacked them." Was all I could manage, though. I could tell that he didn't believe it, and even if he did, he wasn't going to say it, because then we would be off the hook. He couldn't suspend us(or whatever he was planning to do) for kissing. 

"Mhm. Now what about the kissing part? Anything to say there?" He asked, glaring at us. Sean spoke up. 

"Yeah, we were. And far as I know, it isn't a problem or there isn't a rule that we can't. Other couples do it all of the time." 

"Sure they do. But they're not like you. It's not the same, trust me. And it's not only that, it's the fact you skipped class today too. Your teachers confirmed it." 

I almost forgot about the skipping part, but that's not what I cared about anymore. It was the fact that he said that Sean and I were not the same as the others. I thought about it for a moment, then realized what it meant. I felt a gasp escape my mouth. "Fuck You." I said, not even meaning to do so. 

"Excuse me?" 

And suddenly, I got brave. "I said, fuck. you. Fuck you. Need me to repeat it again?" 

"Let's hear what your parents have to say about all of this. Just so you know, you probably won't be coming back to school. Ever." 

"Why?" Sean and I asked in unison. 

"You're most likely getting expelled." 

"We get that. Just because I'm gay, does not mean I'm dumb, much as you'd like to believe that. Just why? Because we kissed?" 

He ignored me and just looked up my parent's number on his computer and typed it into his phone. This was it.

"I've always been gay, though. I've been out for awhile. Why do they suddenly care now?" Sean whispered to me. 

"I don't know. They've probably been waiting for this moment." 

I watched as my parent's phone rang and rang, and heard them pick up. I felt myself gulp. 

This was it. My reputation was destroyed. 

XX 

Both of our parents were in the room with us now. The Principal was explaining to them what happened. I was trying not to cry. 

"My son did what? You're lying. He didn't kiss a boy, he didn't skip school." My mom said, and she seemed more angry than she had ever been. 

"He did. And he can confirm it. Mark, won't you tell your mother the truth?" 

I gritted my teeth. I took a deep breath. "Yes. I did all of that." 

Both of my parents had faces of shock. 

"Mark... you're telling me... that you're gay?" My father asked. He looked as if he was ready to burst. 

All I did was nod. 

"No... no..." My dad said to himself, pacing. 

"I can't believe this." My mom said, and if we weren't in the same room as someone of authority, she probably would've attacked me. 

As my parents had their little meltdown, Sean's mother stepped forward. 

"So let me get this straight. You're expelling my son. Because he skipped once. And because he got into a fight. Once. Which I don't believe, by the way. Sean would never attack anybody like that. And I know Mark, he wouldn't do that either. They're more mature than that. You wanna know what I think it is? That you're only concerned because he kissed a boy. That's why you're expelling him." 

I wish I had a mom like that. A smile formed across Sean's lips, but soon as he looked over to me, his face filled with concern. 

"Why is it just now this a problem anyway? My son has been openly gay and going to your school for the longest time. I didn't think his sexual orientation mattered that much." His mother continued, staring the man dead in his face. She sure was intimidating as hell, I would be scared right now if I was him. 

"Listen, m'am. We know of your son's... condition. We just never thought he would act upon it." The principal said, and he was dead serious. I wanted to laugh out loud. Homophobes were just ridiculous.

"Condition? Are you serious ? A CONDITION? He likes boys. That's it. You can't make him like girls if he doesn't. It's not a disease, you sick and small minded bastard. Come on, Sean. Let's get out of school. We'll find better for you, I promise you." 

Sean got up and looked to me once more before following his mother out. It was just me, my parents, and the principal now. My parents were whispering for a few seconds before the principal spoke. 

"As you can tell, there is going to be no way to override this. Your child is expelled. Gone. Forever. We're sorry." 

"We understand." My mother said, and then looked at me in disgust. "I can't believe you." She said to me. The tears I had been trying to fight were going to come out any second now. 

"M... mom... dad..." I didn't know what to say. I just wanted to cry. 

"Don't give us that. How long has this been going on? How long have you been doing this disgusting shit?" My dad asked me. 

"I've... I didn't have a choice. I just never liked girls. I'm sorry." I was a scared little boy again. I felt ashamed, when I knew deep down I shouldn't be. But I did anyways. 

"You better be. But there's nothing you can do now. Everyone knows you're a fag." 

The principal didn't even care, just say and watched as my parents berated me for something as stupid as sexuality. 

"Alright, come on. We need to figure out what we're going to do with you." My dad said. Why was he speaking to me like I was a dog? I was still a person... 

I followed them to the car silently, and suddenly, the tears I had keeping in began to pour out. 

XX 

"How could you do this to us?" My mom asked me from the front seat, and I didn't know what to say anymore. They weren't going to accept me, it wasn't worth it at all. 

"Answer your mother." My dad said, and I let out a sigh.

"Do what? Be myself?" I said. I didn't give a shit if they were my parents anymore, they wanted to treat me like shit I was going to do the same. 

"Yeah, because that's something to be proud of. Everyone is going to hear of this. We're going to be ruined. You were a straight A student. Now you're nothing. You're a drop out. Why can't you just be with a girl like every other normal boy?" 

I sighed. "Not every boy likes girls. And not every girl likes boys. You can't change people just because you don't like it." 

"I'm your mother. And I don't care what you say. You ruined this family's name, forever. How does it feel?" 

I wiped my tears. Then I smirked. "Oh, mom. It feels fucking amazing." 

XX

The car ride was the biggest drag of course. After I gave my mother that smart remark, her and my father simply ignored me. And as we continued to drive, they talked about me, like I couldn't hear. 

"So that's what he was doing when he was going out. He was probably kissing that boy." My mother said, disgust in her voice. 

"I wonder what diseases he has. Probably a lot. That's how you get AIDS, you know. And if he gets it, we're not going to be helping him at all." My dad said, chuckling. How was that funny? I was his flesh and blood, and he was basically saying that he would let me die, if he was given the chance. 

"I don't know how that other boy's mother puts up with having a gay son. Everyone around here hates her. How does she do it? Why does she allow it?" 

"Maybe because she isn't close minded like you." I said, and they both looked back at me an gave a glare. 

"Be quiet. You don't get to talk. You're no good to us anymore." 

We arrived home at about that time, and pulled in. I got out of the car immediately. 

"Go into the living room. We're going to call the rest of the family and discuss what we're going to do." My dad instructed. 

Fear ran through my body again. My whole family? Discussing what to do with me? What in the hell did that mean. 

I sat on the couch in the living room, looking down at my feet. I heard my dad in the other room, dialing up my other relatives. Was this really necessary? 

I never really gave it much though, but were they all homophobes too? Most of them lived here, so I'm guessing that would be a yes. 

I just sat there, unsure of what was going to happen, and began to start crying again. I was weak. I could give them all of the smart remarks I wanted, but I didn't changed the fact that my parents hate me. Nothing hurt more than hearing the fact your parents didn't love you and couldn't accept you for who you were. 

After a while, my other family began to pour into the house. Was this an intervention or something? Really? 

They all gave me disgusted looks and didn't speak to me. 

"Everyone come in here. We're all gonna talk about this together." 

It was awkward until everyone else arrived. All of the stares and whispers I couldn't hear. Once everyone was there, my parents walked in. They were having fun with this, I could tell. 

I look around at my family. Each of them are staring at me, that same disgusted look in each of their eyes. 

I hate myself. I'm the big neighborhood disgrace. Everyone around now knows that golden boy Mark is actually a faggot. I knew it. It was all my fault. 

I want to see Sean right now. I wanted to be with his family, nice and accepting, I don't want to be here, where I'm being stared down by my entire homophobic family. 

My dad clapped, bringing attention to himself. Then, he began to speak. I hated him right now. I really did. "Well, well. Who would've thought. Turns out my little son is a fucking faggot. Why couldn't you just keep it hidden from us Mark? Would've been a hell of a lot easier. But no, little neighborhood queer had to get caught making out with his boyfriend and look where we are. The whole neighborhood is laughing at us, already. Laughing at me. We're already getting phone calls from people. 'Oh you're the father of one of the neighborhood queers.' 'Oh, did it hurt to find out he was a fag?' How does it feel to know you caused all of this Mark? Huh? How does it feel?" 

His words sting. I feel tears rising into my eyes, but I can't let them out. I can't let him know he's actually hurting me. I'll only cry when I'm away from them. 

If I was being honest, I wish I could just be straight. I wish that I could be the golden boy again. I wish I wasn't in love with Sean. But there's nothing that can be done about any of that. It's done and over with. I hate that I'm having these thoughts. I couldn't imagine my life without having met and falling for Sean. But it was just hard to be positive right now. And, my family doesn't think that way. They think by yelling... By calling me a queer and a faggot, they'll somehow make me straight and fall out of love with Sean But that'll never happen. 

"Oh, so you don't have an answer. Nice. Guess kissing him is more important, huh?" 

I hate the way my father spits the word "him" out, like Jack is some disease. I want to tell my father off right then and there, but I have a feeling that it wouldn't end well. Especially with my whole family around. 

"You know, why don't you and your little boyfriend get out of here. You've already shamed your family name too much. Do you think it's necessary to shame us, just that you could fill your own feverish need? Was it worth it!? Huh? Tell me now? Was it worth it?" 

My father gets up in my face. I can literally feel his anger. 

"You don't know how it is..." I squeak. I feel pathetic for not being able to let anything else out. Where did my bravery from early go? It was fading away. Far, far away. 

"Yeah, of course I don't know how it is. I'm not a fucking disgrace like you. I don't know what the hell possessed you to go out and do that disgusting shit, but it certainly wasn't us. You're going straight to hell." 

"Dad..." 

"Don't give me that dad bullshit. Don't try to apologize. This is the type of damage that can't be taken back. I'm not your father. You're not my son. You're fucking dead to me. Dead. Don't call us, don't come near us. I don't give a shit where you go, but it sure as hell won't be anywhere near here. Get the fuck out of here." 

I couldn't move. He couldn't be serious. Was he kicking me out of the family? Why? Even if he did kick me out, it doesn't change what happened. And, it doesn't change that I'm his blood and his only son. I sniffled. I didn't want this to be real. How can you suddenly hate your own blood for who they love? How do you raise a child only to hate it years later over something silly? 

Well, I guess I don't blame him. I'm his only son, and I'm a damn failure. Maybe he's right. 

"GET THE FUCK OUT." 

I still couldn't move. I couldn't breathe. I couldn't see. I couldn't do anything. 

Before I knew it, he was grabbing me and pushing me outside. 

How could a parent be so cruel? None of family even protested to me being thrown outside. they all just agreed with him. Wow, great. I felt so loved. All these years, all the fun I had. They're my family. And I wasn't going to be a part of them. It was sad, really. I couldn't believe this. 

I was sitting on the sidewalk in front of my home, staring at it. I was helpless. I began to cry yet again, like the wimp that I was. There was nothing more I could do. My family had cut me out, just like I knew that they would. 

I had no idea what to do. Then I thought of one person I could call... 

I pulled my phone out of my back pocket. It had battery, just enough for at least one call or so. He picks up after only two rings. 

"Sean... I need you..." 

XX

A/N: and there it is! What happened in the beginning is now explained! I know the end is just the first chapter, but there are many changes. And it's also good to refresh and let you know where the story is. And those changes are also now added to the first chapter. 

This chapter is extra long, and it broke my heart to write, but I hope you all enjoyed. My heart goes out to anyone that ever had to deal with any of this stuff in any form. 

But now, we can finally see what happens once Mark calls Sean! What do you all think is going to happen? 

Thanks for reading, hope you all have a great day/night!


	33. 32.

Sean's POV 

I knew that it was going to be something bad when I saw Mark was calling me. 

I picked up immediately. 

"H..." I couldn't even manage to say hello before he began to speak. 

"Sean... I need you..." His voice was desperate. He sounded so scared. My heart immediately began to beat quickly. 

I couldn't stop thinking about him, and what his family could do to him. They weren't like my mom. They weren't accepting of who he was. So of course I was nervous. But I didn't want to text or call him in case his phone was taken away or something. But apparently, it wasn't. 

"Mark! What happened?" I was nervous. Really nervous. 

"My family... they hate me.... They kicked me out... I have nowhere, I have nobody...." 

"Mark. You have me." 

"I don't want to make you feel like you have to do anything. You don't have to come find me. My phone is about to die. But I just want you to know. I care about you a lot. Shit... You know what, I love you Sean. I know I've said it before. But I've always meant it. And I always will. And I'll find a way to get myself on my feet. And then maybe I'll see you again. But for now, I don't want to burden anyone anymore. I ruined your life." 

What was he even talking about? His words were making zero sense to me. I was hoping that he was just upset and saying random things, since his mind obviously wasn't in the right place. 

"Mark, you didn't ruin..." I started, but I was of course interrupted by those two dreaded beeps meaning that he had hung up, or that his phone had died. 

"No." I said, and then I rushed to my mother's room. 

"Mom!" I called out. She was on her old and slow laptop, doing something important it seemed, since I could see a bit of stress in her face. But that didn't matter right now. 

"Sean? What's wrong?" She asked, looking up at me. The stress in her face was still apparent, but it was now mixed with concern. 

"It's Mark. His parents kicked him out. And he just called me, saying some weird stuff about how he ruined my life and how I shouldn't look for him until he's back on his feet. I didn't understand it, but I don't care. I can't just have him stay out there. He has nobody, mom. We have to let him stay here. Come on." 

"Sean, slow down. And yes, he can stay here with us for a bit while he figures things out. Like I said before, he's pretty much family. And we can't leave him behind." She closed the laptop, and got up. I quickly followed her as she got her keys and headed to the car. 

We were going to find him. 

XX 

It wasn't very hard to find him. I thought it would be, but when we were just a few block from his house, there he was. 

He was walking on the sidewalk, his head down. We pulled up beside him. I rolled down my window. 

"Mark!" I called out, and looked up, alarmed. But his face was filled with relief(and a bit of shock), once he saw who we were. 

"S... Sean." Was all he muttered, walking up to the window. He looked extremely unkempt, his hair was a mess, and his clothes were crooked. 

"Get in the car." I ordered him, because I knew he would try and protest. 

He sighed and climbed in the back seat next to mine. Usually, when I was driving with my mom I would ride shotgun, but since Mark would be getting in and I wanted to talk to him, I sat in the backseat. 

"You didn't have to.." He started, and I honestly didn't want to hear this. 

"Stop. No. Yes I did. I don't know WHAT exactly it was that you were telling me over the phone, but it was bull." 

My mom looked back at us. "You alright, Mark?" She asked him, and he nodded weakly. 

Then she turned away and Mark spoke to me. "Sean." He was whispering. 

"What?" I whispered back, and I saw my mom peek back at us again, before she began to drive. 

"What I was trying to say over the phone was that I ruined your life. And I don't want to do it anymore. That's why I didn't want you to come get me." 

"I know. I heard what you said. What I'm calling bullshit on is you saying that you ruined my life. You didn't." 

"Yes I did. You got expelled because of me. You never got in trouble all of those years." 

"Are you kidding me! Then you could say that I ruined your life too. But you wanna know what? Sure, I never got in trouble. But do you know what I went though each day, being out of the closet? Do you know what it did to me? But then I met you, and I actually had someone. Even when we were just friends. You were my only source of happiness for awhile. And you still are." My voice was beginning to raise a bit. Maybe I should have saved this for when we weren't in the car, but it had to be said. 

Mark's eyes were wide. They were also red, most likely from crying. He didn't say a thing, and neither did I for the rest of the ride. 

All three of us walked into the house silently, but as soon as we got in, my mom began to speak to Mark. 

"You can stay here as long as you need. I know things are difficult, and don't worry, we can help you find a way to get back on your feet. But just rest for some time. We're here for you." 

Mark smiled at her. "Thank you. Am I gonna sleep on the couch or something?" 

"It's your choice. You can stay in Sean's room of you want, long as you boys promise not to do anything bad." She winked. 

I know she was just trying to lighten the mood, but I couldn't help but blush. "Mom!" 

"Oh, come on. You know I'm kidding. You do what you want Mark. And let me know if you need anything." She have him one last smile before going to her room. 

"You know what I just realized?" Mark asked me. 

"What?" 

"I don't have any of my stuff. My parents didn't even let me pack. They just... kicked me out. With nothing. Not even my phone charger." 

"Well, you can use my charger." I told him, and motioned for him to follow me up to my room. "And as for your other stuff, you can always go back and get it eventually. We can worry about that later." 

"Yeah, you're right." He said, shrugging. I handed him my charger and he plugged his phone into the wall. 

"So. Where do you wanna stay?" I asked. I wanted him to stay in my room, but it was really his choice. 

"I guess I could stay in here. I could sleep on the floor or something." 

"You don't have to sleep on the floor..." 

"Well, where am I supposed to sleep? In your bed?" 

I felt my face turn a dark red. "N... no. But I'd rather you sleep on the couch than on a floor." 

"Whatever. I guess I'll decide later then." 

Much as I would love to cuddle with him while I was in bed, I realized that maybe it would be a little weird to do so with my mom around. Not that we were planning on doing anything dirty, it would just be a little... awkward. 

We watched movies for a bit, but I could tell Mark's mind was elsewhere. 

"You okay?" I asked him, grabbing his hand. 

"I'm fine. I'm gonna go to the bathroom. I'll be back in a minute." He said, breaking free of me. I sighed. I really wanted to make him feel better. 

After a little while, Mark's phone automatically turned on. I heard it buzz, meaning there were some messages. 

Of course, curiosity got the better of me and I went to check. I thought maybe it would be his family, and I wanted to delete the messages before he could see them. There were a bunch of messages from Felix.  

Felix: hey man I heard what happened to you at school today. I'm so sorry man, I hope you're okay. 

Felix: ?? 

Felix: you alright? 

Felix: shit. 

Just as I finished reading them Mark walked in. 

"What are you doing?" He asked me. 

"Oh, I just heard your phone go off. So I went to check. It was just your friend Felix." 

"Oh." He said, walking over to his phone. He typed something and then sat back down. I sat next to him. 

He was so quite for the rest of the day. But I let it be, since he was going through a lot. I wasn't going to dare to bother him. I didn't want to hurt him any further. 

XX 

Turns out, Mark slept on the couch. I worried about him throughout the night, and then realized that maybe I was overreacting. 

When I woke up, I smelled food. My mom was making us breakfast? It had been awhile since she did something like that. 

I got up. Mark was already awake, watching TV. 

"What... what time is it?" I asked him, my mind a bit groggy. 

"It's almost ten." He answered me, his voice flat. 

I then walked into the kitchen, to see what my mom was cooking. 

"Hey mom." I said, and she smiled at me. 

"Hey hon! I'm just making you and Mark some stuff. French toast and eggs!" I felt a smile form on my lips. I loved French toast and eggs. But it had been forever since I had them. 

"Thanks mom." 

"Don't thank me. But hey, can you do me a favor and grab my laptop from my room?" 

"Yeah, Yeah. Of course." I said, and that's what I did. 

When I got to her room, the laptop was already open to something. Of course, since I was bringing it out, I couldn't help but look. 

It was a job application for something. My mom had already done some of it. My eyes widened. It had also been awhile since she had a job or anything like that, because she got turned down a lot of times. 

I shut the laptop and brought it out to her like she had asked me to. I didn't question her about it, because I didn't want to get my own hopes up. A job meant more money, and more money meant we could possibly move. And that in itself was amazing. 

"Thanks, sweetheart." She smiled warmly. 

"No problem mom. How's the French toast going?" 

She chuckled. "It'll be done in a few. It'll be on the table soon, I promise." 

I went out into the living room again and sat next to Mark. 

"You sleep good?" I asked him. 

"Yeah, I guess. It feels really weird sleeping away from home, though." 

"I know." I told him, putting a hand in his shoulder. "But hopefully you'll be used to it." 

"Yeah, I hope so too. I'm sorry if I seem like I'm being an ass to you. I don't mean it, I promise." 

I shook my head. "Mark, you're not. And it wouldn't matter if you were. You're going through stuff, and lots of it. I don't expect you to be super happy right now. I get it." 

"I know. I just feel bad. But hey, I really appreciate the letting me stay here. It really does mean a lot to me." 

"It's not a problem. There's really no need to thank us. I could never leave you out there alone, neither could my mom." 

For the first time in awhile, he smiled at me. And then he began to lean in. I did the same. 

And just as our lips were going to touch, my mom called in for breakfast. 

XX 

A/N: wow! I haven't updated in almost a month I'm so sorry. Time really does fly. But regardless, I hope you enjoyed the chapter. 

Thanks for reading and have a good day/night! All the love!


	34. 33.

Mark's POV 

I was extremely grateful for what Sean and his mother were doing for me. I really was. But that didn't change the fact that I was going to have to to talk to my parents eventually. They still had all of my stuff, and I'll be damned if they think I'm not coming back to get it. I wasn't going to stay there of course, I just needed all of my stuff. 

Of course, I was nervous. Even if I didn't care what they thought about me anymore, the nice thoughts of me that they once had, now diminished into a pile of dust. So why couldn't I feel the same towards them? If I was dead to them, they were dead to me. I wasn't their son, they weren't my parents. And I didn't give a single shit. 

But just because I didn't care anymore didn't mean that I wanted to hear the slurs they were bound to throw at me. 

I sighed, looking down at my phone. I should just call them and get it over with. Getting my stuff would be the next step in this wild journey. I need clothes and such before I figured out anything else. 

"Hey, Sean." I called out. Sean was on the bed and I was sitting on the floor. He was laying on his stomach. 

"Yeah?" He asked. "Everything alright?" 

I felt my heart flutter at his kindness. He really cared about me, didn't he? "Y... yeah. I'm fine. I was just thinking about calling my parents. I have to do it eventually, why avoid it?" 

There were a few moments of silence before he answered. "If you want to do it, do it. I guess you're right, it's better that you do it and not wait." 

"What do I say, though?" 

"That you want your stuff back." 

He was right. It wasn't something that was going to be THAT hard. I was just working myself up. "I have another question." 

"What is it?" 

"What's gonna happen next? I can't stay here forever and leech off of your life and home." 

"Mark. I... I don't even know. But don't ever think you're 'leeching' off of anything. My mom doesn't mind you staying, and you already know that I don't. But what I DO know is that I care about you a lot and that I'm willing to help you through this, no matter what it takes." 

I smiled, and reached up and pulled him in for a hug. While doing so, I accidentally pulled him off the bed, and he hit the floor with a slightly loud "thump!" 

"Are you okay?" I asked, trying to hold back my laughter, but it was difficult. I was soon sent into a laughing fit. 

"I'm fine." He said, letting out a small(and adorable) chuckle. But once he saw how hard I was laughing, he began to laugh profusely as well. "But I fell right on my ass." 

"I'm sorry!" I say, stopping my laughter and pulling him in for an actual hug.   

He hugged me back with all of his might. 

XX 

I looked down at my phone screen, watching as it rang. I was in the bathroom, making the call to my parents. I knew I wouldn't be able to do it in front of anyone, so here I was. 

"Come on, pick up." I whispered to myself. What was I thinking? My family was sure to ignore me. 

To my surprise, they did answer. I quickly grabbed the phone and put it up to my ear. 

"Who is this?" I heard my mom ask. Really? She was going to be like this? 

"I think you know." I answered. I wasn't going to let her take advantage of me, not this time. 

"Oh. You. See, I deleted your number from my phone. I should've blocked it. What could you possibly want? You gonna beg to come back?" 

I was starting to get nervous. I took a deep breath. 

Come on Mark... Have a moment of confidence. Don't be a wimp. You don't care what they think, remember? 

"I want my stuff. You kicked me out, sure. But I think it's my right to have all of my clothes and stuff. I just want to come and pick it up soon. And no, I'm not going to beg to come back. I'm staying with someone right now, but I'm old enough to get a job, so I'm going to save up money to live on my own. Thanks for raising me all of these years, and maybe someday you'll realize that you kicked out your only son, and that being gay isn't as bad as you think. Now, is tomorrow good?" 

She took a few moments to respond. I thought she had hung up, but that was until she let out a loud sigh. 

"Come whenever the hell you want. It'll all be outside. We don't want things that will remind us that we raised a disgrace." 

She hung up immediately after that. I don't need her, or any of my family for that matter. I mean, really? None of them even protested to how my parents were treating me? 

I was hoping that there was at least one person in my family that wasn't homophobic, but just didn't want to admit it because of the way that my family was. But then again, even if that was the case, why would they still sit there and let me get thrown out? 

It didn't matter to me anymore, if I was being honest. If they didn't care enough about me to speak about me, then I would just have to accept it. I was living with Sean. Not them. I was going to find a way to make it on my own. 

I walk out of the bathroom, and back into Sean's room. 

I don't say anything, just sit down on the bed next to him. 

He puts his arm around me. 

"What happened?" He asked me in a soft tone. 

"Well, she's gonna let me get my stuff. She said they're gonna throw it outside and can just come get it whenever. But... she also called me a disgrace again. I know I said I don't need her, but that doesn't mean the words still don't hurt. I keep telling myself I don't care..." I drift off, looking down at the ground.  

"I think anyone would care. Words like that, people like that... especially when it's your parents... it all hurts. I don't blame you. But you did it. And once we get your stuff, you won't ever have to speak to them again." 

"You're right. This has all just happened so fast." I lean my head into his shoulder. 

"I know. But after you get your stuff, you can relax for awhile. Give yourself a couple days. You deserve it." 

I felt myself tear up. He cared about me so much. What did I do to deserve it? 

I said nothing more to him, just pulled him in for a kiss. 

XX 

Getting my things went quicker than I expected. 

Sean's Mom was insistent about going today, saying that I should get it over with. I agreed. I may have felt drained, but the faster I got it done, the faster I could move on. 

When we got to my house(or the place that was once my house), I was expecting there to be suitcases with everything in it. 

But instead, everything was strewn out in the front yard. My eyes widened at the scene in front of me, and Sean and his mother had the same reaction. 

I got out of the car, ready to collect my things. I had no idea where I was going to put it all. 

"This is beyond petty." Sean's mother said, getting out as well. Sean followed. 

"You guys... I can get it." I tried to tell them, but they insisted on helping me. 

"No. We're gonna help. Sean, you go open the trunk. We're going to put everything in there. And Mark, don't worry, if you need anything new, I can get you it." 

I smiled at her. "Thank you." 

It didn't take long, considering there were three of us. We shoved it all in the car and got out of there as quick as we could. 

I caught my mom looking out of a window as we were beginning to drive away. 

I simply looked away, not knowing what to think. 

She wasn't going to stop me. She didn't care. In fact, she was smiling. 

I breathed in and leaned against the window. I closed my eyes. 

I was going to try not to worry about it. Not right now. 

XX 

A/N: short chapter, but a filler was kinda needed after all of that action! 

I don't have much to say today but thanks so much for reading and I hope you all are having or will have amazing holidays! I love you all! 

Have a great day/night!


	35. 34.

Sean's POV

"What are you going to do about all of this?" Mark asked me. He was frowning a bit. I couldn't imagine how bad this was for him. 

"What do you mean?" I stupidly asked, and this made his frown grow even more. 

"My clothes and everything else. Where are you going to put it?" 

"Don't worry about it. You can put it wherever. In fact, you can keep it in my room if you want!" 

He cocked a brow, acting as if this was surprising to him. Did he really think I would care? "Really?" 

"Yes. Really. Come on. I'll help you carry it in." 

It took a while to get all of his stuff in, since none of it was in bags or anything. His parents were complete assholes. They could've at least packed his stuff in suitcases. 

"Fucking assholes." I mumble to myself, and Mark looks at me. "Your parents, I mean. They shouldn't have done this to you." 

"Yeah, I know. But it is what it is. They don't love me. They didn't want to do anything more for me." 

I didn't understand how you could carry a child for 9 months and care for them and raise them, and then just one day abandon them because of their sexuality. It didn't make sense. His parents would get what they deserved one day, I was sure of it. And Mark, he was going to get happiness and love from me and my mother. 

XX 

"Sean, I have something I want to tell you." 

Me and Mark were putting his stuff up in my room, when my mom walked in and told me she wanted to talk to me privately. 

I didn’t know what it was, but I could tell it was serious. I hope it wasn’t about Mark. I highly doubted that it was, but there was a chance and it made me nervous. What if she wanted him to go or realized she couldn’t afford it? 

“What’s wrong mom?” I asked her. 

“It’s nothing bad, Sean. Don’t look so nervous. In fact, it’s something that I think is great for us.” 

I let out a breath of relief. So it wasn’t anything that I should be scared about. “What is it?” 

“I have a job interview. It’s next week.” 

It takes a few minutes for the news to sink in. I feel myself smile. “Wait, really? Where?” 

“It’s at a restaurant. I’m willing to do whatever job it is, just as long as I get and can save up enough to get us out of here. It’s a bit out of town though, so it’ll be quite the ride to get there, but it doesn’t matter.” 

I leaned in and gave her the biggest hug. She clung onto me. “Mom, that’s great!” I told her, and really, I meant it. 

“I know it is. I didn’t want to tell you in case I didn’t get it...” She trailed off. 

“Don’t say that. I’m sure everything will go alright.” 

“And even if I do get it, it would be awhile before I’d have enough to find a place, but I promise you as soon as I think we’ll be good I’ll take you to look at some places with me. And they will be far away from this horrible place. I’m sorry I ever made you come here.” 

“It wasn’t your fault. I’m sure if you knew you wouldn’t stay. I’m sorry for dragging you into all of this trouble.” 

She raises her voice. “You don’t have to be sorry. If you think that this is your fault for being who you are, it’s not. It’s their fault for being close minded. You should be able to live happily every single day. You have a heart of gold, and wherever we go next, I’ll make sure everyone sees that.” 

I smile at her. “Thank you mom. I love you.” 

“I love you too.” 

She truly is the greatest mother I could have asked for. 

XX 

“Mark! Mark! Mark!” I call out happily, running back into my room. 

“What?” He asks. 

“My mom has a job interview!” 

He looks at me for a few seconds before saying anything. “She does?” 

“Yeah! I’m so happy for her.” 

He smiled weakly. “I am too. Speaking of jobs, I need to get one soon. I didn’t get one when I was in school because I was just trying to focus on that, but now I need to.” 

“Yeah, me too. I should help my mom out. I wanted to get one before, but nobody around here would hire me, and my mom said I should just worry about school since I wasn’t the best student. I feel like I should get one now, just to bring extra money in.” 

“Yeah.” Mark said, and then a long silence hung between us. I could tell he was still in a bit of pain from what had happened, and I didn’t blame him. 

I decided to say nothing more, and helped him put everything else away. 

After we were done, we decided to watch some TV like we always did. In the middle of our movie(which was a horror movie, which wasn’t that scary), Mark had a sudden outburst. 

“You know, never in my life did I think I would be expelled from school. Expelled from school. I was an A student. An A student! Colleges were already looking at me! So tell me, why in the hell could me kissing a fucking boy ruin all of that. College can’t deny me because of something like this, can they? Hell, this school would probably twist it to make it look like I did something else. And why do they hate me so much? I’m gay. You hear that? I’m gay! IM GAY!” 

“Mark...” I started, unsure of what to say. If I was being honest, seeing him like this was pretty damn scary. 

“Well Sean, why aren’t you pissed? You got kicked out too!” 

“I am. I just... it’s still kind of shocking.” 

“Oh yeah, because your parents didn’t kick you out. That’s why you’re not in outrage. Your mom let you right back in. She’s getting a job. She’s trying to change everything for you. But my parents? They could give a shit! Aren’t you so lucky. You don’t even know it!” 

“What the hell, Mark? What’s wrong with you all of a sudden? You know damn well I care about you, and so does my mom. Sure, I’m grateful as hell that she accepts me, but you and her are the ONLY ONES. It hasn’t been an easy ride for me, either.” 

He groaned. “Yeah, I realize that.” 

I turned away from him, and moved away. He gave me a glare. I understood his pain and all, but maybe I should just give him space. 

I watched the movie, barely paying attention. I was pretty much just mindlessly staring at the screen. 

“Sean?” Mark called out once the credits began to roll. I turned to face him. 

“What?” I asked, hoping he was a bit cooled down now. 

“I’m sorry about all of that. I didn’t mean it. But I’ll admit it, I’m jealous of you. I’m sorry, okay?” 

“It’s fine. And you know my mom loves you. No need to be jealous. She’s here for you and so am I. Always.” 

“Thanks Sean. I’m sorry again.” I could tell from the tone in his voice that he truly meant it. 

“It’s fine.” I look over at him, and he has his head buried in the comforter. “You okay?” 

“Yes.” He answered quickly. 

“You sure?” 

“No. I’m not okay. And I won’t be. Not for awhile. Maybe not ever again.” He waited a few seconds. “I’m not okay.” He repeated. 

I didn’t respond. I didn’t know how to. 

XX 

A/N: hey guys! This chapter took FOREVER. I had writer’s block for the longest time, I didn’t know where the hell this was going. I’m sorry if it was a bit short. 

Maybe I was lying when I said it’ll only have a couple chapters? There aren’t many, but this isn’t near the final chapter yet. We still have a bit to get through. But it won’t be too long, I promise. (Even though I get so sad at the thought of letting this story go it’s so important to me haha.) 

But anyways, enough of me talking for today. Thanks for sticking with me and I hope you all have a great day/night!


	36. 35.

Mark's POV 

I felt bad for starting an argument with Sean, really I did. I know it didn't last very long at all, but I should have never brought up his mother and I should've never tried to make him feel bad about it. 

He didn't SEEM angry at me, just a bit distant. You could tell what I said stung and stuck with him. 

He was excited about his mom getting a job, and I couldn't help but feel that I had crushed it. 

It's not okay, and I don't know why he said it was. But I wasn't going to bring it up, it wasn't going to help anything. I had bigger problems. 

Like myself, for example. I usually have good self control and can hold in my anger, but for some reason everything was just spilling out. 

When Sean had asked me if I were okay, I even told him I wasn't. For some reason, I couldn't bring myself to lie to him, even if I knew he wouldn't believe me if I did. My mind just wouldn't let me. 

I wasn't okay. And it scared the hell out of me. I've never had to deal with something of this stature. Getting kicked out made me realize a few things. 

First of all, that my life was all a big lie. Everyone telling me that I'm going to make it far, and that I had what it took. But the minute I showed who I REALLY was, to them I was nothing. 

I remember one time my parents said to me "You're the greatest child we could have ever asked for. You work hard, you're smart, you're sweet, you're going to be the CEO of some big company one day." 

What happened to that? I can't be a CEO now, just because I'm gay? 

The school was the same way. They praised me at any chance they got, telling me how great of a student I was and how many colleges were already looking at me. It made me happy. I did work super hard for every single grade and award I earned. Nothing was EVER handed to me. Not to kiss my own ass or anything, but I was one of the best students in that school, I was told that multiple times. 

They took all of it away in a matter of seconds. Colleges were going to see I was kicked out of school. Hell, was there even a point in college anymore? Lies were probably being made up about me and why Sean and I had been kicked out. That's what homophobes did, I knew that for a fact and so did Sean. 

We were probably going to be all over the news, everyone was going to know us. And for all of the wrong reasons. 

If I was being completely honest though, I wouldn't go back in time and change anything. I wouldn't want to not fall in love with Sean or kiss him, just the sound of it was awful. 

I shook my head, trying to get the thoughts away, but it wasn't exactly working. 

So, I picked up my phone. I opened my messages app, and I texted Felix. He was the only other person that would speak to me at the moment, and I just needed something to clear my mind. 

Mark: Hey

Felix: hey man what's up? 

Mark: Nothing really. I just got into a bit of an argument with Sean and I feel kinda bad. How about you?

Felix: what happened ?? and i'm just uploading a new YouTube video on my channel lmao 

Mark: It was nothing too major. I just kinda let some of my emotions go way out of hand. And that's cool, I didn't know you had a YouTube. What do you do on it? 

Felix: that's good, hope everything works out for you guys

Felix: and on yt i mostly play games and scream at my computer lmao. my channel name is pewdiepie if you want to check out

Mark: Thanks, I hope so too. And that Sounds cool! I'll be sure to take a look. pewdiepie? What's that mean lol? 

Felix: it's a long story man, it's kind of an inside thing 

Mark: Oh alright. I'll check it out soon! 

Felix: thanks! we should collab sometime, it would be lit

Mark: Collab? 

Felix: like make a video together lmao 

We talked for a few more minutes, he told me that he started a channel because he was inspired by ones that he had watched before. He said that most of the channels that he watched had a ton of subscribers and were extremely rich, so one of his main goals was to be like them, and also to have fun. I never knew that people could make money off of YouTube, I wonder how that worked. 

After our conversation died out, I decided to look up his YouTube channel. 

He actually had a pretty good amount of subscribers. The amount wasn't a ton by any means, but it was getting there. Then again, I wasn't into YouTube so I didn't know what was considered a lot or a little. 

His videos were mostly him playing video games, just like he said. I clicked on one and it began to play out loud. Sean had left the room to do something(probably just to get away from me), so it was just me. 

His videos were actually really funny, I caught myself laughing multiple times. He was extremely entertaining. 

I went to his channel page again, and scrolled down a bit more. As I did, I saw that he did some videos with Daniel. I wasn't surprised, they were friends at one point. I clicked on one of those videos. 

I was laughing again, but not because it was funny. It was extremely awkward, and the tension between them was really showing. Daniel was making some jokes that were obviously making Felix uncomfortable, and he was barely chuckling at them. 

Sean walked in while I was almost finished with the video. 

He came over and plopped down beside me. 

"What are you doing?" He asked me. He didn't seem pissed off at me or anything, which was good. 

"Just watching YouTube." I replied, taking my eyes off of the screen for a quick second to glance over at him. 

"Oh, who are you watching?" 

"You know Felix? Well apparently he has a channel. I was just giving it a look." 

"That's cool. You know, I've always wanted to start a YouTube. I just don't know what I'd do on it." 

"Well Felix does gaming and that seems fun. It seems like a fun thing to do, and apparently they get paid too." 

"Oh, I knew that. The big YouTubers make really good money." 

It was so weird having a normal conversation considering all that was going on. It got my mind off of my parents and my situation for a bit, and I liked that feeling. I would do anything to keep my mind from going there. So I decided to try and carry out even more of a conversation.

"So Sean. How are you?" 

He looked at me, staring for a few seconds. The way he was looking at me, you would think I had three heads or something. 

"Mark. I think you need to sleep." 

"What the hell? I was just asking how you were!" 

"I know, but it's obvious that you're stressed. I can see it in you. I just want you to feel as okay as possible." 

I sighed. He knew me all too well, it seemed. 

"Yeah, whatever. Love you." I told him. 

"Love you too." I heard him say back, as my head fell back onto a pillow. 

XX 

A/N: this took forever I'm so sorry! To make a long story short, adulthood has hit me like a truck. It's been hell. 

Also, I know these past chapters have been kinda boring and lacking substance. But the pace will pick up again, like I've said before this story is starting to wind down, as we have already hit the climax and are heading through the falling action and towards the resolution! 

Thanks for reading, love you all!


	37. 36.

Sean's POV 

Mark wasn't doing well. 

He could try and lie to me all he wants, but I know him well enough to tell. 

I loved him, and if he didn't think I'd pick up on this, he was completely wrong. 

"Mark, how are you doing?" I would ask him every day, several times a day. 

"I'm fine." Was how he would usually respond, and for the most part, I would just let it be. Maybe he didn't want to talk about it yet. I wasn't going to force him. I knew how hard all of this was for him. 

But one day, he responded with something else. 

"Mark, how are you doing?" 

"Awful." He responded, not meeting my eyes. 

"What's wrong?" 

"Everything. What if I am useless, just like my parents say? What if I don't have a place in this world after all?" 

"Mark, don't think like that. Of course you do." 

"I thought that at one point, too. But they're my parents. Maybe they're right. I keep having these bad thoughts about hurting myself, and I don't know what to do with them." He let out a loud sigh. 

"I know how that feels. Just ignore it. Trust me. Do something else. Talk to me. Just please... don't do it." 

"Why? Have you done it before?" He asks, and at this point he's finally looking at me. 

"Yes." I responded. "And it's not going to help anything, not at all. It only makes things worse." I'm suddenly reminded of the time that my mother found out I self harmed.

"Why didn't you ever tell me?" 

"I don't know what I was supposed to say. I don't do it anymore. I'm fine now. My scars are clearing." 

"Good, I wish I would've known..." 

"It wouldn't have stopped me even if you did. That's not how it works. That's why I figured there was no point. But that's not the conversation we were having before. We were talking about you, not me. And I just want to say that I'm always here for you. It's not a lot. But it helps to have someone around, and I'll always be that someone for you." 

He moves closer to me, and pulls me in for a hug. 

"Thank you." 

XX 

I never seen my mom more nervous than she was on the day of her job interview. 

She was dressed and ready to go, but she was still pacing around and acting like it was the end of the world. I know it was big and all, but I didn't like to see her like this. 

"Sean, what if I don't make it? What if got excited, got you excited... over nothing..." 

"Mom. I'm not a little kid. I understand that things don't happen. And if you don't get it, there's other jobs out there. It'll be fine." I try and assure her. She knows I won't be angry about it if it doesn't go well, why is she acting like that? 

She forced and smile and leaned in to kiss me, gave me a quick, "See you later", and opened the door and left. I knew it would go fine, and even if didn't, it would be fine. I know she just wants to get us the hell out of here though, so I understood her fear. 

I walk back into my room, where Mark is staring mindlessly at the TV. I want to try and cheer him up, but I had no idea how. 

Suddenly, an idea pops into my head, and next thing you know, I'm in the kitchen, making pancakes. 

I know it won't take everything that he's thinking about away, but just seeing a smile on his face would be good enough for now. It's the little things, you know. 

I made pancakes the same way my mom always did, shaped like hearts with chopped bananas on top and a bit of syrup. They didn't look very appealing at all if I was being honest, but they tasted just fine. It was the best someone who had no former practice with this, like me, could do. 

I put the pancakes on a plate and brought them into the room. I really was head over heels for Mark, wasn't I? 

"Hey, look what I got!" I announced excitedly, and he turned to face me. 

"I know I smelt something. What's that?" He asked. 

"Pancakes!" 

"I thought your mom had a job interview." He wasn't even joking. Was it that strange for me to be making pancakes? 

"She does. So I made them for you. I'm sorry if you don't end up liking them." I bow my head slightly. 

"No! Don't be like that! Bring em here!" He announced, and he was smiling. I couldn't help but do the same. 

I set the plate on the bed, and gave him a fork. I had one for myself as well. 

We began to eat, and I decided to put some YouTube on as we ate. 

We ate pretty much in silence, with the stupid videos playing in the background. I wanted to talk, but I didn't want to bring something up that would make him upset. 

He was smiling. 

I smiled at him and looked away, so that he didn't see me. 

His smile was all I wanted. It was a small step, but soon I would make sure he felt better and realized that he was worth it. 

I never want someone to feel helpless and like nobody wanted them like I did. I was going to help him, no matter what it took. 

XX 

My mom came home ecstatic. She walked in, shouting "SEAN!" 

Mark had fallen asleep again in the midst of us eating pancakes, his fork still in his hand. I was sort of concerned that he was sleeping so much, since I had been in a slump just like he was. But I let him rest, I get that he was stressed. 

I gently pulled the fork out of his hand and walked out to see what happened with my mom. 

"What's up mom?" I said. She was smiling from ear to ear. "Good news I'm guessing?" 

"Yes. I wasn't expecting it either. I got the job... but not only that. They said I can start tomorrow!" 

She was so happy, and it made me happy too. 

I instantly rushed to give her a hug, and she hugged back. 

She really was the most amazing person, I love her more than words could ever say. 

XX 

A/N: hey! I know this was short, I'm vv sorry. I was originally gonna double update but the second chapter isn't exactly done yet and I don't know when it will be, so enjoy this for now! 

Thanks so much for reading and I'm sorry for my long absence!


	38. 37.

Mark's POV

I hated my mind so much for the first couple of weeks. 

My thoughts were invasive. They kept telling me that I was what my parents said, and that I'm never going anywhere in life. 

Sean tries his best to help me, and he helps with the pain slightly, but as soon as he goes away or falls asleep, the thoughts came back. 

I didn't cry. I couldn't let the emotions out, I didn't want Sean and his mom to waste their time pitying me, when they already did a ton. 

I knew it wasn't good to keep my emotions in, Sean even encouraged me not to do so. It would lead to me hurting myself. 

But I kept them in regardless. I promised him I wouldn't hurt myself, and I meant that. But I was going to keep my emotions in, because I didn't want everyone to see I was hurt by what my parents had done to me. Hell, I bad-mouthed them and told them it felt great to ruin their names in the neighborhood, what changed? Why was I now so upset over this. 

Holding in tears hurt quite a lot, it made my chest feel tight and made me feel as if I were going to pass out if I didn't breathe or let it out, but it became routine. 

If I really wanted to cry, I ran into the bathroom and did it, but I made sure to turn on the sink so nobody would hear me. Then, I splashed water on my face so my eyes didn't look all red and puffy. 

I could tell Sean was getting a bit suspicious, but he just let it be, even though he still asked me if I was alright a million times a day. I appreciated him, really I did, but for some reason I just didn't want to make him feel bad for me. I already did enough to him. 

XX 

"Mark! You've been sleeping for 18 hours! Get up!" 

It was Sean calling my name, of course. I lifted my head up and looked at him, running a hand through my messy hair. I felt sweaty, gross, and my mouth was dry. 

"I really was?" I asked him. Of course, I was a teenager so I liked to sleep, but I never slept THIS much. 

"Yes, sleepyhead. We were getting scared." 

"Well, I didn't mean to scare you." 

He gave me a smirk. "My mom is going to get us food on the way home, what do you want?" 

"Anything's fine with me." I tell him, plopping my head back onto the pillow. I felt okay for a few seconds right then, but now I just wanted to sleep again. 

"Mark." 

"What? Just get whatever you want, I really don't care." 

"I'm getting scared for you. Something's off. And I know exactly what it is. And I know I probably can't help but... please. At least talk to me." 

"There's nothing to talk about." I tell him, then I turn away and close my eyes. 

XX 

When I woke up for the second time, I felt worse than I did before. Sean was sitting on the bed, playing a video game. Hearing me rise, he turned around and put the game on pause. 

"Hey, it's about time you woke up." 

"Yeah, I guess so." 

"You know, you don't have to talk to me, but just know that I've been there and it's okay to be down, but you have to pick yourself up sometime. You're the only one that can make you happy and make a change, only you." 

I let out a loud sigh. This wasn't what I wanted to hear when I first woke up.  "And how exactly am I going to make myself feel better, when I feel absolutely useless?" 

"You're not useless. You have to tell yourself that. How do you think I stopped hurting myself? Nobody else helped me do it." 

"Sean... I'm sorry. I just don't know how to be happy again. I can't stop thinking about my parents and how they really felt once I said who I truly was. I just can't. I made them proud for so many years, and now they hate me." 

"And they don't deserve you. They're the ones in the wrong, not you. The fact that they would hate their own child for who he loves is fucked up. They don't deserve you Mark, you don't understand." 

I felt tears well up in my eyes. "But..." 

"Don't. Listen. I want you to make me a promise." 

"Yeah?" 

"You have to promise me you won't let their words bother you. Each day, you need to do something that'll make you happy. Each day, you need to tell yourself that their words mean nothing, and that they're the ones who don't deserve you. Please. I don't want to see you go into the dark place that I was in." 

I smiled at him through my tears. He truly was the greatest person I had ever met, what did I do to deserve him? 

"I promise you. I'm going to try." 

"Good. I'm glad. Now, do you want to go somewhere with me and my mom? She wanted to take us somewhere whenever you woke up." 

"Like where?" 

"I don't know, I was thinking the arcade or something?" 

"Yeah, that sounds like fun." 

He ran off to go tell his mom, and I finally got out of bed and decided to get clothes out for a shower. He was right, I couldn't let this drag me down. It was going to be hard, but I would at least try. 

I got ready, and soon we all got packed into the car. 

I looked over to Sean, saw his smiling face, and I smiled back. 

I was going to keep my promise to him, no matter what it took. 

XX

"I can't believe you're so good at the crane game." Sean commented as we stepped back into the house. I was carrying too many stuffed animals to count, they all barely fit in my arms. 

"Well you see, it's all in the tactic. You have to-" 

"Oh, shut up. We get it. You're a genius." He retorts, and we both laugh, even his mother joins in. 

"I'm glad you two had a good time." His mother told us, flashing a warm smile. 

"We did, thank you." I told her. 

"It's no problem! No need to thank me!" 

I smiled at her. I really wished she was my mom. She's such a nice and accepting woman who would do anything for her child. But she was helping me out too and was doing the things that my real mother should have done, so I couldn't really complain. 

I carried all the stuffed animals to the room, and threw them onto the bed. 

That night, I fell asleep with a smile on my face. 

XX 

For the first couple of weeks, keeping the promise was hard. I kept falling into sadness and slumps. 

The only difference was, I tried to pull myself out of these slumps. I told myself it wasn't worth it, that I shouldn't waste my tears on people who didn't give a shit one way or another. I was lifting myself right back up. 

On about the third week of the promise, I got a text from Felix. We still talked from time to time, I didn't want him and I to fall off the earth after all he had done for me. 

Felix: hey, you remember that collab we were talking about awhile ago? Well, I have a good idea. I just got a new horror game and we could play that, there's a two player mode that sounds pretty cool. 

I thought for a moment. Normally, I would refuse and would want to stay in bed. But now, since I was starting to feel much better than before, I would do it. Why not? 

Mark: yeah! That sounds awesome! When do you want to do it? 

Felix: whenever you want, man. I could pick you up. 

Mark: sounds good, let me shower and get myself ready and I'll tell you when to head up here. 

Felix: see you then! 

I got ready, and told Sean where I was going. 

"Aw, so you're gonna leave me alone?" He fake pouted, then laughed seconds later. "I'm kidding. Have fun." 

"I will. Love you." I said, leaning in and kissing him quickly. 

Felix was outside in his car, blasting music. He waves to me and I walk over and hop in. 

"Hey bro!" He says as I hop in, and I tell him "Hey!" back. 

I climb into shotgun, and he turns the music down, turning to face me. 

"You ready to get scared shitless?" He asks jokingly, which I chuckle. 

"Yeah, I mean Sean and I always watch scary movies and play scary games too so I feel like I'm ready." 

"Don't get too cocky, remember that we're gonna be recording all of our reactions." 

I didn't know how well this was going to work out, since I was so damn awkward, and I would especially be awkward when a camera is on me. 

XX 

"How's it going bros, it's PEWDIEPIEEEEE!" 

I chuckle and look over to him. "Was it necessary to scream in my ears like that?" 

He turns to me and laughs. "Yes. It was." He pauses before speaking again. "As you guys can see, today I'm joined with a friend. Hey, introduce yourself." 

I was stuck for a moments. I was so awkward it was painful. "Hello everybody. My name is Mark." 

"-and today we're going to be playing a game that not many access to, not just yet at least! I'm glad I was given the opportunity to do this. We're going to be trying the multiplayer mode, obviously." 

He hands me a controller. He clicks through some things and then I connect my remote, and we begin the game. 

The start, like most scary game, is dark. All we both have a small light that barely helps. 

"Are you scared?" I joke around with him. 

"No. Why, are you?" 

"Of course not. I'm not scared of this shit." I say, and move my character quite a bit. 

"Mark! We're supposed to go together, you asshole!" 

I chuckle. "Follow the leader, Felix. Follow the-" 

I'm interrupted by a jumpscare, some sort of weird creature pops on the screen, baring it's teeth at me and screeching. 

I immediately jump. "Shit! Why the hell? What the HELL!" 

Felix is laughing hysterically, even though I saw him jump too. 

"That's what you get for talking tough, Mark." 

XX 

We laugh and continue to play for a few hours, I even forget that the camera is on me. 

I was having so much fun, if I was being completely honest. This was what YouTube was like? This was so much fun, I wouldn't mind doing this everyday. 

"That was... longer than your usual videos." I commented. We had been recording for hours. 

"I always record for this long. I still need to edit it all, it's not really going to be three hours." 

I feel myself turn red at how stupid I sounded just then. "Oh... yeah. Right. Well, I had fun. Lots of it." 

"Me too dude. Me too." 

XX 

Later that night, Felix texts me the link to our video. I want to watch it, but after a few seconds I feel myself cringing at my voice. So I scroll down to the comments instead. 

Who's this new guy? I like him! 

"I said my name in the video..." I say out loud. 

Mark is so so funny, he should make a channel of his own. 

I miss Daniel... 

Lmaoooo when Mark jumped 

10:01 me at school 

Play more of this! Bring Mark back! 

I felt myself smile at the overwhelming response from his subscribers. They liked me? Thought I was funny? 

"Whatcha doing?" Sean asks me, looking over my shoulder at my phone. 

"Oh, just looking at the video me and Felix made." 

He smiles and snatches the phone from me. "I wanna see!" 

I laugh. "Go right ahead, ya doofus." 

I truly loved him more than words could ever say. 

He made me happier than words could ever say. 

XX 

A/N: fluffy and fun chapter just because. 

I feel Mark in this chapter, a lot of what's going on with him is stuff I've went through and thought, I myself am on a personal mission to better myself, and I realize that I'm the only one that can do so. It's a good philosophy, and I feel as if you're struggling, it's crucial to realize that. 

Thanks so much for reading, see you all next time!


	39. 38. (!)

A/N: (!)= mature/triggering content. This chapter contains scenes of shooting and gun violence. 

There are also uses of the f slur. 

Stay safe. 

XX

Sean's POV 

I would say life was going pretty well. 

Mark was trying his best to be happier and not dwell on people who didn't care for him, and that made me happy as well. Everyday, I made sure to tell him how much I loved and cared about him, to make up for everyone that didn't tell him that. He had me and my mom, and I hope he knew that we were there for him no matter what. 

On top of that, my mom's job was going really well. Every time she got paid, she put some money aside in a jar, which she called the "get the hell out of dodge fund". The money was stacking up pretty well. 

"Markkkkk!" I called out, running into my room, where he was on the bed, playing video games. 

"Seannnnn!" He called back sarcastically, causing me to laugh. 

"Come out here and make some food with me." I said, fake pouting. 

"What do you want to make?" He asked, turning to face me. 

"Anything. I just thought it would be fun." Truth was, I wanted him to smile and laugh and have fun with me, because he had been spending so much time in the room. Not that doing that was such a big problem, but I was just afraid he was going to fall back into that hole of sadness. 

"Okay." He said, putting the game on pause. He got up and we walked into the kitchen. 

"Hello, I'm Sean! And this is my trusty assistant, Mark! Welcome to our cooking show, where today we'll be making.... food." 

Mark laughed. "Nice intro. And am I just an assistant to you?" 

I leaned in and gave him a quick kiss. "In this cooking show, yes you are."

"I hate you so much." He says, chuckling. 

"Yeah, whatever. I love you too." I open up the cupboards and look around for something to make. 

"What about homemade pizza?" I ask Mark. 

"Why don't we ask the audience? Would you guys like a homemade pizza?" He asked out loud, and after a few seconds of silence he added "I think they like that idea."

"They do! Let's do it." I go into the fridge and grab some of the mini pizza doughs my mom had gotten at the store awhile ago. 

"Do we have any sauce?" Mark asked. "The audience is saying we better find the sauce." 

I open the cupboards to look. "Hold on audience, we're going to find this sauce." 

I keep looking through the cupboards without saying anything, and then suddenly me and Mark are aware of a loud bang. 

"What was that?" Mark asked. 

"It sounded like a gunshot. But it was probably fireworks or something." I shrug. It happens. 

I continue to look for the sauce, but then there are more and more bangs. 

"What the hell?" 

Then we hear the sound of glass shattering, and realize that it was our window that broke. 

"Shit! Sean, get down! Someone's shooting at the damn house!" Mark pulls me down behind the counter, and I feel my heart rate go up dramatically. Someone was actually shooting at us. 

"Who could this be?" I ask, poking my head up. A big mistake. A bullet flys past my head, only missing me by inches. 

"Sean! I said, get down." 

"I'm calling my mom." I announce, crawling over and grabbing my phone. I was already shaking, and I felt as if I was going to start crying any second. What if whoever this was killed us? 

"Sean? What's up?" She asks when she answers. 

"Mom, someone's shooting up the house. They broke our window a little bit. A bullet almost hit me. I'm scared mom." 

"Baby, please stay safe. I'm going to try and leave now and get there. And call the police. Now. Get somewhere where you'll be safe. Oh my god." She says just before she hangs up, and I can tell she's holding back tears. 

The gunshots continue, and we hear cars driving by. 

"They doing a drive by. But why?" Mark says, and he's shaking. 

With shaking hands, I dial 911. 

"911, what's your emergency?" 

"Someone's shooting up my house. They broke some of the windows. They're driving by. I don't know how many of them there are, but bullets keep flying in." 

The person on the other end asks for my address. I give it to them and they ask if I can stay on the line until they send someone our way. I do it, because I'm scared out of my mind. 

I cling to Mark and begin to cry, and the person on the phone tells me someone will be there soon, and then they hang up. 

"Sean, we'll be okay as long as we stay behind here." 

The gunshots stop. But then, we hear more things hitting the window and cracking it. 

We can hear people speaking. 

"Come out, fags! Oh, did they die? What a shame." 

"They put shame on the neighborhood, I hope they're dead." 

"Why don't we go see?" Let's break this window enough so we can get in. The people begin to laugh, and I feel the fear cause me to freeze. 

"Sean, come on." Mark says, grabbing at my arm. 

I finally will myself to get up, taking a deep breath. They were trying to come in. They were breaking in. Where were the police? 

Mark runs at lightning speed into my room, and I follow. He shuts the door, locks it, and moves my dressed in front of it. 

"Under the bed. Now. The police will get here soon, they won't get to us I promise." I know he was trying to make me feel better, but I could that he was even scared of what could happen. 

We both hide under the bed and don't say a word. All we could hear was our breathing, which was heavy and erratic. 

We were listening for footsteps, but we didn't hear any. I figured that we would any minute now. 

I was still crying, but they were silent sobs. This was the worst fear I had ever felt in my life. 

Footsteps are heard running into the house. Mark and I look at each other, fear and sheer terror in our eyes. 

"Police! Is anybody in here?" We hear a man call out, and it's not one of the voices from before. 

For some reason, I'm still frozen under the bed until I hear my mom's voice. 

"Sean, baby? Where are you?" 

Mark and I get up, and he swiftly moves the dresser and opens the door. 

"Mom!" I call out, running out to the living room, where the officer and my mom were. 

"Are you two okay? Neither of you were hurt? Right?" 

"We're both okay." Mark answered. 

I was still shaking. 

My mom pulled us both in and hugged us. "I'm so sorry." 

"Don't be sorry. It's not your fault." Mark told her, digging his head into her shoulder. 

I felt tears still pouring out, even though the danger was gone. I just couldn't shake the feeling that me and Mark almost died. 

"We're getting the hell out of here." My mom says out loud. "Come on." She began to walk away. 

"We're so sorry about all of the damages to your house." The Officer told my mom. "Hopefully everything can be fixed. We were able to catch two of the kids that were doing this, but the others got away." 

"It's fine. I'm getting them away from here soon, trust me. I've wanted to for awhile, but this is a sure sign that I need to. Come on, boys." She runs over and grabs the jar before walking towards the front door. 

She walks out of the house, and I briefly peek over at the cop car. Inside, there are two boys that I recognize from school. 

"Why can't they just leave us alone?" I say out loud, crying again. 

Mark grabs my hand and massages it. "I don't know Sean. I really don't." 

"They will now. We're getting far away from here." 

We all get inside the car, at this point I can barely see or breathe because of the sobs that have been coming out of me nonstop ever since this started happening. 

"Where... where are you taking us?" I ask my mom, sniffling. 

"For now, I'm taking us to a hotel. We obviously don't have another place to stay yet. But until we find one, I'm going to keep you guys at a hotel. Don't worry about your stuff. I'll come back and get it. Do you guys want to grab anything for now though? Why don't you go grab some clothes and such for now?" 

"Sure, yeah. Let's go get some of our stuff for now." Mark says, looking over to me. 

I follow him out of the car, and as we're walking back inside, I'm met with just how bad the damage is. Bullet holes everywhere. Most of the glass was cleaned up, but our windows were now ruined. 

I grab my phone. We walk into the room and I begin to cry again. This was the place where I had spent so much time, but now it was no longer safe because some people weren't happy with who we loved. It was so upsetting. 

"I didn't expect to say goodbye to this house like this. But I guess that's just how it is." I manage, but I barely did so. My chest hurt. My eyes hurt. My throat hurt. This was too much to take in such little time. Me and Mark were just trying to make homemade pizzas, and it spiraled into all of this. Why couldn't they just leave us be? They take away our privilege to go to to school, to be anywhere together publicly, and now they didn't want us to have a place to live? It was upsetting how far their hatred went for us. 

Mark pulls me in for a hug. "It'll be okay. I know how bad it is. I'm pretty shaken up too." 

"I don't even know what to take for now." I look on my bed, where I see some of my plushies that I still had. I reach and grab my favorite one, which was a green eye that I named Sam. "I'm good." I announce. 

"I'll grab some clothes." He grabs a bunch of outfits, and tucks them into a backpack. 

We both walk back to the car in silence, except for my occasional sniffles. I felt so weak, but I couldn't stop crying. I wish I could, but it was all too much for me to take in. I hug Sam close, wishing that it would motivate me to stop crying. But it wasn't. My eyes were still a faucet, and my mind was unable to stop thinking about what had just happened. So stopping crying wasn't exactly an option for me. 

"I'm so sorry that this had to happen." My mom said, and I can see tears forming in her eyes. She sniffles and wipes away at her eyes as she begins to drive. 

XX 

A/N: next chapter is the last one, and then there's going to be an epilogue! It's insane to think that I've been working on this story for over two years and it's finally coming to a close... it's also sad too, I don't want to let this story go! 

Also, quick thank you to those that have been around since the start. To those that have just started reading now. To those that have been around for months. Weeks. If you clicked on this story at all, thank you so much. Your support means the world and it's what helped me keep motivation for this story for YEARS. I truly love you all.


	40. 39. (!)

!= triggering content.   
TW for mentions of blood, the shooting, and some flashbacks to said event. 

XX

Mark's POV 

The fact that we were actually LEAVING this place was insane and felt like a fantasy. It also felt like this was all a dream, just a bad, awful, dream that we would all wake up from soon. Leaving this place was something I had wanted to do for so long, but this obviously wasn't the way that I envisioned doing so. 

It all happened so fast. Sean and I were just having our fun when suddenly, our safety was threatened. 

I'm glad to have Sean's mom around though, she obviously cares so much for both of us, and for that I was super grateful. 

Sean wouldn't stop crying. It was obvious that he was taking this harder than I was, even if I was still extremely shaken up, I wasn't taking it as bad as Sean. He was going to have a rough time for awhile, I just know it. Then again, we all were. 

"Sean, are you okay?" I asked, for about the hundredth time since we had started driving. 

"I'm... fine." He said, but he and I both knew that it was a lie. Maybe he just didn't want to talk about it, and that was okay. 

I stared out of the window, watching the scenery as it passed by. I let the memories of everything I saw reply in my head, it didn't matter if they were good or bad. 

Soon, we passed by my house, and I couldn't help but stare and wonder what was going on in there. Did they miss me? Did they regret kicking me out? Were they happier now that I was gone? 

I almost wanted to ask Sean's mom to stop the car and let me out and go inside, but that wouldn't be a good idea. Maybe I should just leave them behind. Sure, they were my family, but they kicked me out and never bothered to call or anything. So many days I wished for them to call me back and tell me that I could live with them again, but that never happened. I would be 18 soon, so I wouldn't be their responsibility regardless. So it was time to let go. 

"Goodbye." I whispered to the house, turning back and feeling tears well up in my eyes. "I can't believe it had to end like this." 

"Mark? What's wrong?" Sean asked me. 

I sniffled, trying to cover the obvious fact that I was upset. "Nothing. I was just thinking about some stuff I shouldn't have been. I'll be fine." 

"Are you sure?" 

"Yeah, I'm sure." 

The rest of the ride, we were in complete silence. 

XX 

After awhile, both Sean and I fell asleep. I woke up first, and when I did, I had no idea where we were. We in a place way different than anywhere I had been, Sean's mom wasn't lying when she said she was getting us away. 

A little bit later, we arrived at a hotel, it was called "Yellow Roof Inn". 

"Mark, wake him up for me please?" She was referring to Sean, of course. 

She got out of the car and I did as I was told. I shook him awake, several times. 

"Ah! Mark!" He said as he woke. "I had a bad dream." 

"What about?" 

"About the shooting. Only this time you died. I was calling out to you, but you were gone. I was so afraid that it was real..." 

I put my hand on his shoulder. "Well it's not. I'm right here." 

"I know. I just can't get the image out of my head. There was blood..." 

I stopped him mid-sentence. "Don't think about it. Just think about happy things. We're at the hotel now." 

He takes a deep breath. He eyes are still a bit red rimmed, probably from all of the crying earlier. "Yeah. That's really good. It was just scary, you know." 

"Yeah, I know. But you're okay now, I promise." 

"I love you." He told me, as he looked out the window at the place. 

"I love you too." I replied, unbuckling my seatbelt and and getting out of the car. 

Sean does the same. "There's a lot of people here, huh?" He remarks. 

"Yeah, there are. They all probably don't have the same idea as us though. They're probably just looking for a place to stay for the night." 

Sean shrugged. "Hopefully we won't have to be here too long. Where even is this, anyways? I've never seen this place before in my whole life." 

"I have no idea. I fell asleep when we driving too and I'm not sure at all." 

"Oh well. At least it isn't that place anymore." 

"Yeah, I'm glad." 

XX 

The rooms were actually really nice. There was a bed for each of us, a TV, a desk with a little light, and a chair in the corner. I've of course been in hotels before, and this one was definitely on the nicer end. 

"I get to pick what we watch!" Sean announced, giggling. It was the first time he had been happy and smiling since the incident. 

"Fine, you doofus. You can pick what we watch." 

"I also get the bed that's closest to the TV!" 

"Now you're taking it a bit too far". I joked. 

"Boys, what if I said I wanted the bed closest to the TV?" Sean's mom asked, smirking. I know she was trying to help and life the mood, and both Sean and I were so grateful for that. 

"Then I would say... you could have it." Sean said, looking down and laughing. 

"I'm kidding. You boys can have whatever bed you want. I leave that up to the both of you, though." 

"Mark, you can have whatever bed you want. I'm only playing around." Sean said. 

"Which one are you going to use?" 

"Whatever one you and my mom aren't." 

"Well, I don't know..." 

"Oh, boys. Let's not have a lover's quarrel in front of me." Sean's mom interjected, chuckling. "Sean, if you're choosing what we watch, Mark should get the bed closest to the TV. I'll take the one that's farthest away."

"I was only kidding. I don't always have to choose." 

"Oh, Sean honey. I raised you. I've known you longer than anyone. I know you'll throw a fit if you don't get to watch what you want."

Sean's face turned a deep red and he sat on his bed. 

Maybe this wouldn't be so awful after all, despite the circumstances. 

XX 

I woke up, breathing heavily. I had just had a nightmare. It was about the shooting. Sean has been shot, and I kept yelling for him to wake up, but he wouldn't. His blood kept pouring out, leaving him in a pool of it. He was dead. 

It was already hard enough falling asleep in an unfamiliar place like this, and now a nightmare just made it worse. 

I got up out of bed, realizing that Sean's bed was empty as well. 

I walk up to bathroom door, which is shut. Behind it, I heard water running. 

I gently tap on the door. 

"Hey. Sean." I say, not too loudly though. I didn't want to wake his mother up. 

The water stopped running, and Sean opens the door. 

"Mark? What's wrong?" He asks. 

"I had a nightmare. Did you?" 

"Yeah, I did. The same one as before." 

"I had the same dream... except you were the one who died." 

"I'm really sorry, Mark. I wish I could help you. But we're both dealing with the same thing." 

"It's not your fault. It was scary and traumatic for both of us. We need to try and move on from it, though. We're safe from them now." 

"I'm trying. But these dreams aren't helping." 

"We need to just think about happy things, maybe that'll help. We can't keep thinking about it. We're away from them. Far away." I pulled him in for a hug. I knew I was going to have more dreams after this, but I was just going to have to put up with them. I was safe now, we were all safe. I didn't know what was going to happen from this point on, but I was just glad to be away from the people who had Sean and I. 

"Let's go back to bed now." Sean had said, and we both walked back to our beds. 

"Goodnight, Mark." 

"Goodnight, Sean." 

XX 

I woke up the next morning, normally. Normally meaning that I didn't have any nightmares. I guess the thinking happy things method really did work after all. I was guessing it was the same for Sean, since he was still asleep. 

Sean's mom left a note on a sticky note which she stuck to the TV. It read: 

I'm just going back to get some stuff. Be back later. Text me if you need, and you can order food for you two if you would like. I left some money on the desk. Maybe order a movie too. 

Love you both! 

I smiled and sat back on the bed, mindlessly scrolling through the internet for a bit until I heard Sean stir. 

"Well, hello sleepyhead." I said jokingly, smiling over at him. 

"Hey." He replied, his voice of course a bit groggy. 

"No nightmares?" 

"No nightmares." He gave me a slight smile, sitting up. "Where's my mom?" 

"She said she went to grab some stuff. She said we can order food if we want, and maybe a movie." 

"That sounds good. Just give me some time to wake up, then we can." 

"Yeah, whenever you're ready." I told him. I still couldn't believe that this was happening. That we were here, in a different place. It was unreal. 

But it was also really good. 

XX 

"Mark, look out of the window!" Sean shouted. I could tell he was excited about something, but what in the hell could that something be? We had ordered a pizza not too long ago, but they wouldn't be here yet, Sean's mother had just come back from the house with some bags filled with things(she was currently in the bathroom), so it couldn't be either of those. 

I walked up to the window, and looked out. I couldn't see anything that amazing. 

"Uhh, what am I looking for?" I asked, looking over to my boyfriend.

"Those girls, right there." He pointed. "They're holding hands. And they just kissed, did you see that?" 

My eyes widened. Holy shit. Another gay couple? I never thought I would see that. 

"Let's stop looking now. They're gonna think we're weird. But can you believe it? Before, we would've never seen that." 

"You're right. Guess this is a new place and start after all." 

XX 

After a few weeks, the hotel became a drag. We were bored. Sure, we had TV and our phones, but not much else. 

We weren't going to say anything though, because in the end it was better than where we were before. Before, we could've died. 

"I'm going for a walk. Wanna come?" Sean asks me. 

"Yeah, sure." His mother is asleep, probably because she's tired from working and running back and forth like she's been. 

We step outside, into the fresh air, and it feels really good. Sean reaches out and grabs my hand after a few seconds. 

"Sean, what the hell are you going. We could-" 

"I just want to see something. Just walk with me while holding hands, come on." 

We walked, and I was nervous as all hell. What if someone caught us and hurt us? We never knew if we were really safe or not. 

Sean made sure we walked passed other people, much to my dismay of course. 

To my surprise though, none of them said or did anything, some of them didn't even look our way. 

"Holy shit." I say out loud. "Holy, holy shit." 

"I can't believe it. I was really taking a chance and hoping this would work, and it did. Wow. I can't believe this." 

We walk back to our room, smiles on our faces. 

Again, I guess this was a new place and a new start. 

XX 

"Mark! Wake up!" I hear Sean calling out to me. Both of us hadn't had nightmares in the longest time, which was good. But maybe that changed. 

"What's wrong?" I asked him, sitting up and rubbing my eyes. 

"Nothing. I just wanted to do something before my mom gets back." 

"And what would that be?" 

"You know how this is a new start, right? Well I think it's time for us to leave this hotel. I think it's time we find jobs and see if we can find a new place to stay. A house or apartment, like before. We could all live there. I just think we shouldn't stay here anymore, and to do that we need to help my mom out." 

"You know what, I agree. Where are we gonna find a job, though?" 

"That's what I wanted to do. Come on. Get dressed." 

I quickly take shower and get changed, and see Sean on his bed scrolling through something on his phone. "Oh, you're done. Let's go!" He smiles and grabs my hand, and we head out. 

XX 

We find a few places and decide we want to put in applications, so we head back to the hotel. We didn't want to walk too far, because we didn't know this place that well. So we kept track of where we were going. 

We luckily got there before Sean's mom, because she would've freaked. 

We look into the places we went to and saw today's and took a bit putting in applications. 

"What are you boys doing? You both look like you're concentrating super hard." 

"We're putting in job applications, mom!" Sean says, going up to his mom and wrapping his arms around her. 

"Oh, really?" 

"Yeah, we want to get jobs so we can get out of this hotel. We want to find a place to live, just like before." 

"Honey, that's gonna take awhile. To make enough money and to find a place. But we'll look. And I assure you, we'll find something." 

We all smiled. 

XX 

Sean and I had gotten interviews, at two different places. We hoped to be able to work at the same place, but that was just stupid at this point. It didn't matter, a job was a job. 

"I'm so happy, Mark. We really are having a new start."  

I smiled. He was right. 

"To a fresh start?" He asked me, raising his water bottle in the air. 

I chuckled and grabbed my water bottle. We tapped them together. 

"To a fresh start." 

XX 

A/N: oh my god, all that's left is the epilogue, which I'm uploading right after this. I don't want to let this story go, but it's time!


	41. Epilogue

A/N: I uploaded the last chapter right before this, make sure to read that before this one or you'll be extremely confused! 

Also, the epilogue isn't told from anyone's POV. 

XX

The "fresh start" was quite challenging for Mark and Sean at first, much more challenging than they had anticipated. They of course had ended up getting jobs. Mark worked at a fast food place, and Jack in the shoe department at a Macy's. Sean's mom drove them everywhere for the time being, but told them that they would learn to drive soon. Most of their money was going towards helping pay for whatever hotel they were currently staying in. The three of them had to keep moving to find a place, and they always needed a place to sleep and stay of course, so they stayed at various places. Some nice like their first hotel, some absolutely disgusting(Sean's mom made sure to get them out of those ones quickly.) 

They put a bit aside each check though, and made sure not to waste a penny. They couldn't. 

Sean's mother had to end up leaving her old job, she was burning all of her money paying for gas to get all the way to work each day, as well as paying for things to help the boys. She soon found a new one, as a cashier. She also taught the two to drive. Maybe it wasn't the right way, and they didn't have a license or permit, but they at least knew what they were doing and could drive whenever they needed to. They would have to officially learn later. 

The boys soon turned 18, but they still did not have sufficient money to rent anything. 

A few months later, Sean's mother suggested they all live together and all pitch in for rent. They had found a nice place to rent, with just enough bedrooms for all of them. 

Mark and Sean occasionally felt the pain that was missing their old life and old neighborhood, even if life wasn't pleasant there all of the time, it was the place where they had grown up. They hated those feelings, and just remembered that they had it better now. They could be free here. 

Just to test if they really could be free, they went to the store together, holding hands. They felt as if they had to do this whenever they went to a new place. And nobody bat an eye. Just like that night at the hotel. 

"This really is a new start." Mark had whispered to Sean, a smile forming across his lips. 

"It is. We can finally be ourselves here." 

Their relationship wasn't always a walk in the park, though. The two were extremely young of course, and living together wasn't always the most fun thing. They had their trials and tribulations, just like any other couple would. There was even a point where an argument between them got so bad that Mark wanted to move out and find his own place. 

Sean's mother did everything she could to support them, and made sure she paid for mostly everything they needed so that they didn't waste their own money. 

Realizing that they were in a stable place for awhile, Mark and Sean decided to go and get their G.E.D.S, Mark wished he could've went back to high school, but life jumping from hotel to hotel didn't exactly support that dream. He supposed this was good enough, though. 

Soon, it was time for the boys to move out, and leave Sean's mom so that she didn't have to waste her money supporting them. 

She of course argued that it was no big deal at all and that she would do anything for them, but they felt bad. They wanted to be able to support themselves. But, she told them that she was still going to help them and give them money or help whenever they needed it. 

Sean wanted to get a place where he and Mark could stay together, but Mark strongly disagreed. 

"We're so young. Sean, I love you. But this isn't the right move for us. It won't end well. It just won't. I still want to be with you, but we have different dreams, and like I said we're so young. I just don't want us to have any more problems. You saw how bad it sometimes got when we lived with your mom." 

Sean thought for a minute, looking down. "You're right. You want to go to college, and I don't know what I want. I'm probably just going to stay working. I don't know yet. But I love you too, and I want us to last." 

Mark then pulled Sean in and left a light kiss on his lips. 

XX

As planned, the two lived seperately. Mark went onto college, studying the field of cyber security. 

College work was of course quite rigorous, and as a result, Mark couldn't spend as much time with Sean, who had opted to just keep working until he had figured out exactly what he wanted to do with his life. 

They were both extremely young and thrown into adult life, and they didn't really know how to handle it just yet. They had no time to learn or adjust, of course Sean's mom had helped them, but it happened all to quick and now they were stuck with learning some things for themselves. 

Mark and Sean ended up taking a break from each other and their relationship, since they had felt distant. 

Mark continued on with his life, of course he missed Sean, but he didn't want to see like he didn't care about him. Felix came up to visit him a few times to play video games and make a couple videos for YouTube, and Felix prompted Mark to make his own channel. Felix even offered to do the editing on his videos. He did end up making it, and said he would make videos whenever he had the time, whenever school let him be free. His education was most important to him. 

Speaking of Felix, he found a girlfriend, a pretty girl named Marzia, and he was convinced that he would marry her. Mark met her a few time, and she was super sweet and nice. 

Mark's family did not attempt to contact him at all. It was almost as if they had forgotten him. Mark didn't care, because he could forget about them too. It was sad that his family had permanently cut him off because of his sexuality, but if they couldn't love who he was, they didn't deserve him. Sean's mother was all the family he'd ever need. 

Sean hated being away from Mark, and about a week and a half after they broke up, he showed back up at Mark's door. He felt like this was stupid, but for some reason he just couldn't stay away. He couldn't will himself to stay at home. 

"What's up?" Mark asked, cocking a brow. He and Sean hadn't talked much at all since their break up. They had of course decided to stay friends, but things were still a bit awkward between them. 

"I just want to say... I don't care that you're in school and I understand that your education comes first. But I'll always love you no matter what, and I want to just give us another try. If we still feel distant, that's fine. We can end it again. But we might not. You never know." 

Mark thought for a moment. This felt like a scene in awful and cheesy romance film. "You I'll always love you too, Sean. It's just... I don't want it to seem like I don't care about you. Because I do." 

Sean looked down at the ground and then turned to walk away. "I'll take that as a no." He mumbled, and just as he took a step away, Mark grabbed his wrist. 

"Wait." 

"What? It's okay, you didn't have to say yes." 

"Who said I was saying no? I'm fine with trying again." 

"So that's a yes?" 

"Yes, you doofus. It's a yes." 

Mark managed to juggle school and dating Sean, as well as doing YouTube as a side hobby. He was slowly beginning to gain subscribers, and that alone was crazy for him. 

He asked Sean to film with him, his boyfriend was very funny after all and would probably attract lots of attention. Not that he cared that much about his views, but he needed to change it up a bit so his viewers weren't going to get bored. 

They made a video together where they played some shitty horror games, and they had a ton of fun doing so. 

He sent the video to Felix, who sent it back a few hours later, completely edited. Felix had a good way of editing, he always adding special and funny effects to the video that Mark never would have thought of. 

When Mark posted the video, both he and Sean were surprised at the comments. 

"They would make such a cute couple!"

"Aw I ship it!"

"They're so cute, they should date wtf"

They didn't exactly make it known that they were dating in the video, because they were afraid of people and their reactions. Sure, there we're accepting people in the world, but there were plenty of others with hate in their hearts as well. 

"Well, what do you know?" Mark chucked, smiling at his boyfriend. 

"I don't have to be your little secret anymore." Sean responded. 

"And you'll never have to be again. I don't care what anyone says anymore. I love you, and I want everyone to know that. I don't care if they hate it. For now, our lives aren't in danger because we're together. We can finally hold hands and kiss outside. We can finally say that we love each other in public. Do you know how great it is? Sure, there are bigoted people out there, but we can't change them. So we need to just embrace our love. I love you, Sean." 

"I love you too Mark. And I love that we can be us now. I hated pretending to be someone I wasn't." 

"You'll never have to again. Everyone knows now. And if they don't like it, screw them. They didn't get to us the first time, and they won't no matter how much they try. We're still here, and still in love." 

Mark reached and gave his boyfriend a hug, and Sean squeezed him harder than ever before.

XX 

Years later, Mark finished college. Sean went to his graduation and made sure to cheer him on. 

A few months after he had graduated, he ended up proposing to Sean. 

Sean's mother was of course ecstatic to find out the news. Felix was as well, and Mark planned that he was going to be the best man. He was so glad to have a friend like him, who stuck by him all of this time. He never thought the two would be as close as they were now. 

The two were married about a year or so after their engagement, and they moved in together. They were happier than ever, and Mark was so happy that Sean had decided to mend their relationship all those years ago. This never would have happened. 

The two both had jobs, and Mark was also beginning to make money off of YouTube. His channel was growing at a rapid rate. People loved him and his videos, especially the ones he made with Sean. 

"Chica, wanna treat?" Mark called out, laughing when he heard the click clack of nails as his puppy ran into the room. 

Both he and Sean agreed on the new little family member, and they already loved the dog dearly. 

"Sit. Sit. Sit." He repeated, until the dog followed his command. "Good dog!" He said, finally giving the treat. 

"You being good, Chica?" Sean said, stepping into the room and petting the dog on the head. 

"Oh, Chica is being so good. Aren't youuu?" Make cooed, bending down to pet the dog again. 

"You know, if somebody would've told me that some boy I met in chemistry that I was an ass to at first would've been the person I lived with and spent the rest of my time with, I would've called them a liar." 

Mark laughed at his words. "I would've told them to get out of my face with that shit. But, we've been through so much together when you think about it, you know? I couldn't imagine spending my life with anyone else." 

"We have been through a lot. And I wouldn't change any of it. Because at the end of the day, I love you. And that's all that really matters."

"I love you too. And I wouldn't change a second. I still think it's BS that we even had to go through all of it just because we both have dicks, but I bet all of those people who hurt us and tried to hurt us are more miserable than ever." 

Sean reached out and grabbed his husband's hand. "Yeah, I bet they are." 

THE END. 

A/N: holy shit. I can't believe that this is actually done, and that I just wrote the words  "the end". That's insane. Thank you so much for your support during this whole journey, I'm so happy that all of you have stuck with me and decided to click on this. 

Extended author's note coming soon, but for now just know that I love you all more than words can ever express. Thank you so much.


	42. Final Author’s Note

THE FIRST THANK YOU I WOULD LIKE TO GIVE WOULD HAVE TO BE TO PASSION PIT AND THEIR SONG "LITTLE SECRETS"!! Without that song, this fanfic would NOT have existed. Go check them out, they're one of my favorites, I love them and their music! 

There are many interpretations to this song, but my immediate thought was someone depressing gay feelings and having to hide it because everyone around them is homophobic. And that's where this story was born! So yeah, thanks Passion Pit for this awesome song. Give it a listen, I'm sure it'll remind you of this story. Tell me what you guys feel the song is about, and if you feel the same way as me or different! Remember, music is subjective and we all think differently about things, which is the beauty of all of this. My story centering around this song may be very different from yours, and that's okay! 

My next thank you would have to go to YOU, the person reading this, as well as everyone else who had read this fanfic. You guys have given me encouragement, honest feedback, and have helped me when I hit a wall. You all are such amazing people, and I'm glad to have had the privilege of meeting you all. Even if you've been a silent reader, I still love you. 

I love the little community this story has created. Continue to be advocates for LGBT rights and for each other, because in the two years I've been writing this, I can sadly say that some things have bettered for us in the community, but not all of them. 

Speaking of that, IT HAS BEEN 2 YEARS! Some of you have been here for all of that time, and I can't believe it. You're all witnessing me finishing my first full length story, and I couldn't be more grateful. I honestly haven't watched Mark or Jack in AGES, but I continued this story simply because I love it, and I love you all. 

And for those of you that have reached out and have told me how this story has touched you personally and relates to your situation, I'm so sorry and I hope it all works out for you. It touches my heart to see comments like that, ya don't even know. But I really do hope that it will get better for you all. As the writer, I do relate to some of the happenings in this story as well. Honestly, most of the happenings in this book are things that have happened to me and my friends. The ending situation was a mixture of something that had happened in my life, as well as something that happened to a friend of mine. 

Remember, not all LGBT kids will have it as good as Mark did. Some get kicked out and are left homeless, because none of their friends or family cares. Although Sean and Mark have went through so much in this book, they got their happy ending, and not everyone does. This story is dedicated to everyone out there who is LGBT, whether your life has been filled with ups or downs, you're all important and beautiful. 

Words cannot express how happy you all make me, and how amazed at this story's success. I can't thank you enough. 

One day this story will undergo editing, because the beginning chapters were written years ago and could be fixed. But for now, I hope you all enjoyed this journey. This has been a ride, and I'm so glad to have been able to share it with you all. 

Thanks so much again, couldn't have been able to continue without you guys and your constant support and help. I love you all dearly and I wish I could tell you all personally. 

#lovewins

~Ashleigh.


End file.
